Looney Tunes: Bugs Takes Over the Universe!

It was July 8th, 1997. The mail had just arrived with a package. I thought this was strange since I didn't order anything at all. I decided to check out just what the heck was in it. It contained a VHS tape with a label that said, "Some Crappy Cartoon That I Don't Give a Flying Freak About".

"Woah, what's this? Ok, lemme guess, one of my annoying dirtbagn neighbors sent me this stupid tape for laughs?", I said to myself.

Then I realised that it probably wouldn't be him. Want to know why? BECAUSE THE TAPE ITSELF HAD AN IMAGE THAT LOOKED LIKE SOME SORT OF LSD TRIP!!! Now THAT was something I seriously would never expect to be within my posession. I thought to myself if this was some weird fever dream I was having, but when I pinched myself, I instantly realized NOPE, this is reality(go figure).

I decided to pop in the tape, & it started off with a black screen for 10 seconds, then it cuts to static for 10 seconds with what sounded like a bunch of beans falling on a carpet. After those 10 seconds, the classic Looney Tunes starter appeared. However though, there were a couple of differences.

First, the background was a green brick wall that the WB shield then crashes into, & ends up breaking a bit of it. Secondly, the WB shield had what looked like gravy stains on it. Thirdly, the animation was of lower quality. Fourthly, the art looked like it was done using an Amiga 1200. Finally, instead of "The Merry Go Round Broke Down" playing, it instead played Venus from Doom Troopers for the Sega Genesis.

Then, the WB shield went falling down the pit in the style of Wile E Coyote. After that, nothing happened for 8 seconds until I heard a voice.

"Oh my god... is the editor asleep again!?", a voice shouted out like a teenage boy mad at a friend.

Then, I heard footsteps, which I assume was the guy walking towards the editor to presumably wake him up.

"Wake up, & cue the transition lousy Jones!", he shouted again, & the screen quickly transitioned to a screen saying, "Bugs Takes Over the Universe!", with Bugs Bunny holding what I assume was the universe with his right hand. The first 25 seconds of Powerhouse by Raymond Scott played in the background. It then fades to a scene with Bugs walking, minding his own business, while suddenly a person in Irish clothing appeared with a note on his left hand. He gave Bugs the note, in which he proceeded to open it. It contained the following message.

"Hey, you wanna take over the universe? If so, then PUSH THE BLUE BUTTON!!! I TRIPLE DARE YOU!!!".

"Hmmm... nah. Maybe when I turn 270 years old, however long that would take.", Bugs declined the offer.

Unfortunately for him, when he walked away after he tossed the note to the side, he slipped on a branch, & with his nose accidentally clicked the blue button. After that, he got up, thinking that it was some dumb prank since he saw nothing change. 20 seconds later however, the scenery started to get wavy, & turn cyan.

"What th- hey, what's going on? I feel like if I'm not careful, I would end up tripping again!", Bugs said, confused as to what the heck was happening.

Then, a bunch of light bulbs start to appear. They had legs of a dog, faces of a giraffe & tails of a lion. They spun around in circles singing Take Me Out To the Ball Game. Then suddenly, a giant bowling ball with trees inside appeared right from the sky!

"Jeez, this is starting to feel like a twisted dream of sorts. Light bulbs with animal features, wavy land, bowling balls with trees? Oh what a strange day!", Bugs said in absolute shock.

Then, his ears literally started to shock for a couple of seconds before it stopped... right before he started to get larger. He soon became as big as an elephant. Daffy then appeared screaming as he was running away from a walnut that was bouncing towards him with ketchup, & mustard dispensers attached to its sides. Then, the bowling ball started to roll towards the walnut, & broke it to pieces. Daffy thankfully managed to escape just fine.

"No wonder why they call it Looney Tunes, because the world is becoming very loony!", Daffy shouted in fear of what the world had became.

Then, a beam appeared, & zapped him, which cause him to scream loudly. It was pretty dang loud, but not loud enough to cause my ears to bleed. After 7 seconds, Daffy turned into the Mystery Van from Scooby-Doo.

Bugs then said, "Well, since I'm giant now, I guess I can do this!", & started to stomp-walk.

"ROOOOAAARRRR, I AM BUGZILLA, READY TO DESTROY EVERYTHING IN MY WAY!!!", He shouted, imitating a Godzilla typen character.

Then, a bunch of lego blocks hit him, & he shrinked back to normal size. He continued walking though, until he reached a crystal platform. He leaped onto the platform, & once he did, the scenery vanished, & the background turned lemon yellow. Then, a tunnel of red lines formed(each 4 red lines forming a square), & the crystal platform went through it.

"Now all the land is gone, so I have no choice, but to be in this seemingly endless loop of a tunnel! Just what kind of strange substance are these new animators on?", Bugs said, now just wanting an answer to all of this udder madness he was witnessing.

Then, after that last set of red lines, the platform then went into a sphere with matrix code on it. In the sphere, there were many strange oddities to be found, like a magenta peacock with a green, & flat eggplant riding a zebra with a sombrero, a blue brick with human hands, & dragon legs that was juggling Venus, Mars, Saturn, & Neptune, a snowboarding air conditioner that had a CD player as a hat, & a purple soap bar that was eating a lawnmower with its chocolate teeth.

"I thought this cartoon was about me taking over the universe, not... THIS!", he exclaimed.

Then, a steel toe boot with beans inside kicked Bugs right into what looked like a red steel wall, except once he hit the wall, it instead felt very squishy. He then bounced back to the platform, only for the platform to flash several times, & turn into a glowing rainbow truck with cheese balls instead of wheels. He then got in the truck, & somehow managed to drive in it despite being in the air. He then saw Porky Pig at a wall made of copper dodging punches from an angry disco ball with frog legs.

Porky Pig ended up getting punched anyway, & his stomach opened up. Inside the stomach was a HUGE amount of gas pumps. The pumps then grew dark brown bat wings, & started to fly away.

"Jeez, I was expecting pork to be in him. Well, what do I expect, the whole universe has gone mad!", Bugs reacted to Porky's death.

"Why am I hear, & why is there a milkshake dancing with a motorcycle on a hamburger with a cape, cow legs, a glue stick, & wings?", then said Speedy Gonzalez, & there truly was what he had just described.

The milkshake then started to grow larger, & larger until it morphed into a tap dancing bee on treadmills with a bottle of Pepsi, & the motorcycle got off the hamburger, & ate the bee. It then got the treadmill, & drove away with it. Bugs thought it would be interesting to see what that motorcycle was doing, & followed it. This went on for a whole minute until he finally went to what the motorcycle was going to.

There was a table with a TV, & a orange bucket containing what looked like grape juice. The motorcycle then put the treadmill in the bucket, & added in 1,833,925-volt batteries, a jar of cyan pickles, a silver cannon, a red deer with goat horns, a cup of vodka, a metallic air vent, a light switch, a giant meatball with oil all over it, & a doorknob. Then the motorcycle stirred it for 40 seconds. After those 40 seconds, the bucket leaped way high, & exploded. The combining result was none other than a light brown Atari Jaguar! The motorcycle then throw it into the TV in which the TV then turned on, only to start overheating. 10 seconds of overheating later, the TV then started to grow bigger, & bigger until it exploded, & tan movie tickets came out like a giant tsunami.

"WOOOOAHHH, THIS IS GETTING CRA-!", Bugs shouted out, only to then accidentally eject one in his mouth.

Bugs then started to hiccup, & everytime he hiccuped, he turned into something else. He went from a bunny to a green lawnmower, a dark blue orb, a bag of flamingo bucks, a skateboard with a red arrow, a monster truck with a gorilla head on it, a torpedo, & a lizard with a bottle of what looked like Coco-Cola. After that, the screen them zooms out to the matrix sphere itself shrinking in size until it got eaten by a yellow pancake with ice on it. Suddenly, the pancake explodes with pieces of it floating around, tearing the whole universe apart for 20 seconds. Once those 20 seconds were over, the universe was nothing at all.

After all of that, the broken green brick wall is seen again with a message saying in orange letters, "Made by Joe".

"Wait, who the heck is Joe?", I asked.

After I asked that, the screen started to slowly fade to black. 10 seconds later, blue words then suddenly, & immediately ran towards me with, & those words were in bold capital letters, "JOE MAMA".

"Ok, now this tape is just messing with me!", I said.

Then, the cartoon faded to black again, & after 40 seconds of blackness, the tape was over. Just WOW!!! THAT was quite possibly the weirdest tape I own! It was just so random, & off the wall insane like it was a fever dream of some sort!

Later on in 2010, I decided to do some research on this mysterious cartoon, but unfortunately I couldn't find anything at all, & to this day I still haven't been able to find crap about it. Anyways, THAT'S ALL FOLKS!!!

Comments • 0

Loading comments...