My sexy fan fiction: Difference between revisions

It happened when I was only 16. I was playing Halo: Reach because that's one of the best Halo games ever and is better than that stupid gay Halo 5 shit. I was just relaxing and playing the game when all of a sudden Bill Nye came out of the video that was playing in the background because he's the sexiest man alive since Danny Dorito or Mick Romney. He's way more sexy than Obama because I don't like black men. So when Bill Nye the sexy guy came out of the screen he said "I'm going to teach you the science of being raped kid." He then began touching me up on my fat flaps because I weigh about 400 pounds. I started to get a hard on, but he couldn't tell because my dick was too small and I am too fat. So he took out his Shrek-sized dick and began raping me in the butt. Just then, Mick Romney came from the T.V. that my parents left on titled "Political candidates that people cared about 4 years ago, but now don't because they didn't become the president." The time now was 2016. That could only mean one thing: No one for some reason cares about Mick Romney. I called this bullshit because he was the sexiest candidate that ran during the time I was 12 and horny for him. He is a very beautiful man, like Glenn Close. He came in and beat up Bill and even took the fake dick he had on that he was raping me with right off of him. I got really mad because it turned out that Bill was a faker. I yelled at him and then Mick Romney started to take out his real dick and slapped Bill right in the anus as a signal to gtfo. "This isn't the last of me," said Bill. Me and Mick knew that we had to kill Bill. I thought that was kind of funny and went back to fapping and playing Halo. I didn't want to kill Bill because even though he raped me with a fake dick, I still loved him for teaching me science. I never did chase him, because I'm too fat and lazy. So I went back to playing Halo and eventually joined the Illuminati because Bill and Mick were asshole buddies in it and they needed a third so I went in and had sex with them and other various members like Master Chief, Samus, Shrek, Sgt. Johnson, Jerry Seinfeld, Ted Bundy, Hitler, Stalin, Obama Bin Laden, Jesus, Moses, Newt Gingrich, Gary, Mitcherly (which is Beverly and Mitch together), Jesus's son God, Carlos, Timmy, Corbin, Dawson, Brady Nellie, Snoop Lion, Dr. Drake, Kayae West, Kimmitha Kardashian, Kadaffi, Winston Churchill, Shadur teh edgehog, Sonic.exe, Ben, Eyeless Johnny, Laughing Joke, Jeff the rapper, Tupac, Danny Dorito, Glenn Close, Morgan Butterfreeman, Caterpiss, Pikablue, Brock from Pokeymans, Red from Godzilla SNES, Mario, Liguini, Moder Brain, George Lopez, Hatsune Miku, and of course the sexiest person of them all, Jayden Smith. Well thanx 4 wasting a few years of your time listening to mi retarded story. I hope you lost some brain cells.