Paranormal Guntivity
We just moved into a new house, me, my wife and my pet dog "gunga" we had a gigantic house and we were so happy to be in it. Once we got there no less then 10 seconds gunga already took a massive doggy dump on the carpet. The smell was so ratchet. We hired people to clean it up but they died instantly. It had to weigh over 5,759 pounds and 4 ounces. We did the smart thing by closing the door and blocked that room off so we can never smell that ratchet smell again! We then yelled and and took his squirrel toy away from him. Gunga's face turned blood red. I was little scared he was gonna bite me, but he just trotted off into the basement. Then we began to unpack our stuff into the house. Then suddenly I smelled a disgusting, agonizing smell. I knew it was from gunga. Only he can produce that smell. I searched for him everywhere but couldn't find that bad dog. I then found out that he took another massive dump in the furnace room and that's why that horrible smell is all around the house. I then shouted on the top of my lungs "gunga!!" But gunga didn't come to me, in fact I didn't see that little trouble maker for the rest of the day. It was getting late and we started to get going to bed.
NIGHT #1
I had a horrible dream that woke me up at 3:07 am I dreamt that I was getting dragged away from my house to some mediocre doghouse. I couldn't quite see what was dragging me until I got into the doghouse. It was gunga!! He then snapped his fingers then dog toys strapped me down to the ground. Then gunga started to talk. He says "you just had to take my dog toy away haven't you owner?" I was so scared I didn't know what to say. Then gunga said "you must pay the consequences for doing this horrible thing to me" at that point gunga swallowed a test tube full of the stomach flu. I screamed out "no!" Then gunga said "yes!" In a evil voice. He then stood over me, then turned around and lifted his tail up am unleashed the cracken on me! 40,498 pounds of diarrhea was crushed on top of my body. It felt so real and I could actually smell that stenchy smell. And when I woke up I was choking on a piece of gunga poo I immediately went to the toilet and puked it out in the toilet. I then thought to myself "first thing in the morning were gonna take this evil dog to the pound and get him out of our lives" something bout that dream felt to real to me. In the morning I was searching for gunga. I looked almost everywhere but I couldn't find him. I only had one place to check to see where he's at, the BASEMENT!! I was always afraid of the basement when I was a kid only because I was scarred for life of it, and here's why. When I was a kid around 9 I played hide n seek with my friend in the basement it was my turn to find my friend so I counted to 30 in the dark and mysterious basement. I couldn't find him and I looked nearly everywhere. I then tripped and fell in a deep hole around 8 feet tall and 5 feet wide. And what I seen over it scarred me for life. It was gunga! He then ate a 10 pound meal of chipotle he turned around and curled his tail and he pooped Fearlessly into the hole and filled it to the top. I nearly suffocated in the hole of poop until my friend heard my girly screams and pulled me out. That's all I remember after that. And now it's time to go into the basement to find this devil dog. When I was creeping down the stairs it was pitch black and I had to find a light switch. At that point I noticed these aren't stairs I'm walking on. It's rock hard poo. By the time I noticed that the stairs collapsed on me and I fell to my doom. I was in a hole, that gunga must've dug up. I shouted out loud for help. But all hope was lost and I know I'm once again going to be crushed by 40,498 pounds of solid poo. Gunga then stood on the top of the stairs just staring down at me with those menacingly eyes. And at that point I realized I never had a dog. There's no way because I'm allergic to them. Gunga then started to laugh in a devilish manner. He then stuffed his face with a loco's Derito taco from Taco Bell. I shouted out "no! Anything but that" gunga shouted out "muhahahaha" then turned around and I just curled into a ball and accepted my fate. Then I heard a yelp. My wife knocked out gunga with a baseball bat then she noticed I was down in the hole and threw down a rope and saved me from what was gonna be the biggest most gigantic poo you can ever imagine being pooped on top of you. Then I noticed Gunga's body was gone and I said "where's gunga?" She didn't know. Then something from behind hit us both and knocked us out. When we woke up we were tied to the wall with rope and I noticed we were in the same room where gunga took his first massive dump. We were hanging over that huge pile of poo. I seen gunga with a machete and all he had to do was cut the rope and we both would've fallen into our deaths. I tried to talk gunga out of it but it didn't work. He was to pissed off bout me taking his toy from him. He said "you could've spanked me or yell at me, but the fact that you took my favorite toy from me was beyond believable." I said to him that I would give it back but he said. "It's to late for that now" at that point he cut the rope and we fell to our doom. We both died instantly. The end
Written by Gunga the dog
Content is available under CC BY-SA
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