Pikmin 4 Trollpasta

It's been millennia, I'm unable to remember the last time I felt this amount of joy, unable to remember the last min I picked. But it is finally time, the deadline sits in front of my eyes as I enter my state of hibernation, "2023" it says, till' 2023 I shall wait then. I snuggle under the Pikmin fort, composed of egregious amounts of Pikmin merchandise, I hug my Louie body pillow and close my eyes one last time. I will dream to pass the time, I will envision the new gameplay features, the new enemies, the new Pikmin. They will be waiting for me, just as I am waiting for them, we will see each other again in 2023.

Now that I think about it, the specific date hasn't been announced yet, it could be any day of 2023! I could wake up from the hibernation and find myself still waiting for months, or I could wake up to a world that has already seen and experienced the approaching masterpiece, it's expertly written story could be spoiled in few sentences, ruining my experience permanently. It might even get delayed and redone from the start! No, that's impossible, I will know when the time is right, I will feel it in my guts, my unproportionally huge guts. I had to eat a lot in order to go into the hibernation state, ok? Don't look at me like that. I will hear Steve's voice calling my name, then I will wake up, and my Switch will be locked in my titanium safe alongside my Wii, my Gamecube, my 3ds and every Pikmin game in existence. That will be an inconvenience, but I will have the strength, enough strength to lift the plushies and figurines of this blessed pile and break open the safe's door. Nothing will be able to stop me.

I feel my mind beginning to fall asleep, it's almost time, for me, it will be waking up to Pikmin 4's release day, for you, it might not be the same. But together we shall endure the wait, our patience is our greatest virtue and our insanity is our greatest strength. I hug Louie as tight as is possible and I ascend to higher point of being.

"Theodore! Wake up! It's time for school!"

Crap.

"Did you bury yourself in your plushies again? One of these days you are going to suffocate and it's going to be my fault! You know?"

I guess I'll have to wait then.

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