Poop Whistle: Difference between revisions

This is the recorded blog of a gaycollege pornstarstudent who was playing a modified version of Super Mario Brothers 3 on his computer. Shortly after submitting the last entry, he chokedcommitted on his own dick and diedsuicide in his dorm room.

MyA buttfriend buddyof mine recently sent me what he claims to be a sexyscary Super Mario Brothers 3 hack that he wanted me to try out (because he wasdidn’t ahave virginthe fuckcourage.) I started this blog to record my progress through the game. He got this from a site that’s no longer active, and I’ve seen some pretty sexyscary occurrences with emulator games before. Just look at me. I'm probably a delusional retard with a fetish for furry pornBEN. All of that aside, however, there was something definitely off about this ROM. Its title was SMB3:PW. Anyhow, I won’t play any today as I’m quite busy fappingwith tocollege furrywork pornand such, but I will definitely not start tomorrow, because my dick isn't hard enough to play. Maybe the day after tommorow. See ya, and get your dick ready for freddy.

I entered the castle stage. Knowing its only secret was the warp whistle, I disposed of a dry bonerbones andbefore gotdonning a bonerraccoon tail. With a running start I was fart-flying above the stage until I slammed my ugly face uponhit the secret area. My whole life before I hit up on my arrow keypad was completely different. I was hornyhappy. I was delusionalnormal. I could wake up in the morning recognizing my own reflection, being absolute about my dick sizesafety. Now it’s lies. All lies. I know that as of what happened today, my life will become an infernal rapist's chamberhell in which every day will be a futile struggle to retain my own dick intactsanity. After finishing this deliciouswretched collage of animalelectronic excretiondejection, I will embrace your dickdeath like a long lost lover with open arms. Now to get on with what had come to pass.

The blocks that lined the wall lookedwere likea solidifiedgloomy shitalbeit ballspolished obsidian black. Mario’s skin now had spaghettia grayish clingingtint to it, but that wasn’t what was wrong with that picture. The music was a sped up version of the normal “boner“bonus room” theme. Toad’s assskull was cracked open and profusely pooping, spilling poop onto the floor and making the room slippery like an ice stage. His mouth was also agape and spewing poop onto the floor. The poop had an eerie, reflective quality that SHOULD have been graphically impossible for an 8-bit game like Mario 3. I walked up to him to see what it is that he might say. What he had to offer is this:

I then scootedran towards the chest like a chihuahua to see its contents. The chest was drenched in reflective, realistic poop of the same type emanated by the orifices and exposed rectumcranium of the poor little mushroom-headed fuckerfellow. Pressing onward, I ran through it to discover its sexydark secret. Its twisted surprise. WhatI happenedwasn’t gaveprepared mefor a reallythe bigfollowing bonerevents.

A poop-soaked warp whistle ominously rose from what I now believe to be the deepest crevice of my asshell. It fartedblipped twice as the normal whistle would. That, my fellow reader, was the only normality of what I have played today. It played a sexydeep tune that I can’t get out of my head as I write this. The whistle descended, violently striking Mario in the dickchest. He unleashed a poopcurdling scream as it went into his assholeback and out of his penischest. This cry wasn’t 8-bit at all. It wasn’t even cartoon-esque. It was the sound of unfiltered rapeanguish, of utter horninessagony. His expression reflected the same. To end my experience on this perverse version of something I once fapped toloved, Mario was transported to the warp zone of the Poop Whistle.

I call it this because it had only the cookie-cutter outline of the quaint island. The water consisted solely of the same poop aforementioned in my encounter with the whistle. Corpses of Koopas and other enemies of Mario were scattered afloat near the shores. White menacing titseyes glared at me between the waves, surfacing just to shootcast tit-milktheir evil glance at Mario (or me, I can’t be sure at this point). All of the worlds were indicated by their respective numbers, and all of the dots were brown. At that point I noticed yet another abnormality, this time concerning the dot for world eight. Beside it were two 8-bit patches of donkey semenfire that twisted and contorted in place like they had EBOLA or something. Without me pressing any buttons, the whistle stabbed Mario in the ballsribs. This cued him to move to the world two dot. Refusing to pay any further attention to the dick-hardening taleshorrors that surely await in the sexydistorted desert, I saved the game and quit like a pussy. I have played more than enough of my fill for now. I need to fap some moretoday.

I guess that I figured out the acronym from the ROM title meant Poop Whistle the hard way. EvenDespite thoughthe horrors that plague this abomination, I waswill suchcontinue ato subject shitwadmyself to notthis knowsuffering whatfor thatthe sake of all of you. meantWell, Ialso feltfor smartmine. (evenIt’ll thoughhelp me keep track of the X-raydays, showedand thatmaybe this desperate attempt to cling to my brainstable frame of mind won’t prove to be isin incrediblytotal small)vain.

There are onlyfive twothousand people that have followed this blog in the two days that it’s been up. After this mind-bogglinglypointedly boringinteresting post, I’m hoping to have some more. For those of you following my posts, read the next posttomorrow’s and share with your butt buddiesfriends. I need you to expose the stankystark luridness of this shell of something I once fapped toknew and made love toloved.

<h2>Still June 8th, 2012</h2>

Well, I did it. I managed to clench the fickle fibers of my perception of reality long enough to play through world two. I have come to the conclusion that whoever made this is completely and utterly hornyderanged. There’s been a rusted gear or a broken spring in the mechanics of their sadistic testiclesmind. Their only purpose in creating this mod was to mentally and psychologically flagellate the naïve motherfuckersoul gaypoor enough to take the bait of its sexy and deliciousmysterious origin. Well, I’m certainly naïve enough to fall into that category. I digress, to the experience.

I find myself asking how I could have missed major things like this yesterday when I saved the game in this world. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Poop of the same texture from before was just as splattered across the desert sands as sand itself was. ShrekSolitary eyes watched me from the pyramids. Porn magazinesPentagrams and other sexysatanic symbols were also frequentinfrequent in the environment. Could this hack be the work of Patrixxxthe Illuminati? OK, enough masturbatingpondering. I need to finish this boringgrim tale. Skeletons of Koopas littered the bleak landscape. There was a distinct disturbance with Mario’s appearance, though. He looked obesestarved and hornyparched, as one would typically look after a few days watchingin gay brony porn, like Ithe dodesert. Mario then moved into the 2-1 block without my command and the music began to play shortly after.

This was a reversed version of the overworld theme. FartsWhispers and other stankyparanormal phenomena could be heard playing in harmony with the music, saying cryptic things. After about a minute I began to record the sound. I’ll upload it as soon as possible, but I know I definitely can’t do it today. One of the most distinct things I kept hearing was “let the whistle guide you” and “the instrument of poop plays the sweetest tune”. This creeped me out needless to say, but this of all things wouldn’t prevent me from playing out the remainder of this game.