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[[File:WEEEEEE.png|thumb|LOLZ itz Dicknose!!!1!]]
This is my first ever Trollpasta so please don’t hate on it. I know it’s kinda long, but it’s really worth the read. Thanks.
I was at Gamestop recently looking for a copy of Starfox 64. I asked the clerk and he said they had a copy. He went in the back to get it and came back with something strange. It was a VHS sleeve that said “Strfux 69” and had a picture of Chaz Bono flying a Star Wars styled pod racer. It made me sick. He told me it was free so naturally I took it, considering how I’m a cheap fuck.
==<span style="font-size:13px;">This is my first ever Trollpasta so please don’t hate on it. I know it’s kinda long, but it’s really worth the read. Thanks.</span><span style="font-size:13px;"> </span>==
<p class="MsoNormal">I was at Gamestop recently looking for a copy of Starfox 64. I asked the clerk and he said they had a copy. He went in the back to get it and came back with something strange. It was a VHS sleeve that said “Strfux 69” and had a picture of Chaz Bono flying a Star Wars styled pod racer. It made me sick. He told me it was free so naturally I took it, considering how I’m a cheap fuck.</p>
I got home and popped the tape into my Xbox and plugged in my favorite Gamecube usb controller. It wasn’t long before I realized that it wasn’t Starfox 64, or even a video game for that matter. I thought it might be gay porn so I whipped out the Jergens and the tissues just in case. With my dick fully erect and my hopes sky-high, I saw that it wasn’t even gay porn. I was so mad that I sucked my own shorty. 3 seconds passed and I came. It was so shocking to me considering how it took 3 seconds. It usually takes 2. I put my dick away and pressed play.
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I got home and popped the tape into my Xbox and plugged in my favorite Gamecube usb controller. It wasn’t long before I realized that it wasn’t Starfox 64, or even a video game for that matter. I thought it might be gay porn so I whipped out the Jergens and the tissues just in case. With my dick fully erect and my hopes sky-high, I saw that it wasn’t even gay porn. I was so mad that I sucked my own shorty. 3 seconds passed and I came. It was so shocking to me considering how it took 3 seconds. It usually takes 2. I put my dick away and pressed play.</p>
A title showed up on the screen saying “Shaykspeerz Lost Plaee”. I laughed very hard at it because they misspelled “lost”. After the title went away, a new title came up and said “The Tragedy of Dicknose Strombolli, Prince of Sextopia”.
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">A title showed up on the screen saying “Shaykspeerz Lost Plaee”. I laughed very hard at it because they misspelled “lost”. After the title went away, a new title came up and said “The Tragedy of Dicknose Strombolli, Prince of Sextopia”.</p>
I think vomited at that point, but I’m not sure. This was long ago so I hardly remember. However, I memorized the entire thing so I’ll just type it out for you. Lolz I has good memory!
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I think vomited at that point, but I’m not sure. This was long ago so I hardly remember. However, I memorized the entire thing so I’ll just type it out for you. Lolz I has good memory!</p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">'''<span style="font-size:14.0pt">Act 1'''</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">
</p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">
</p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">'''<span style="font-size:14.0pt">Act 1</span>'''</p>
Morgan Freeman: We find ourselves in the troublesome kingdom of Sextopia, land of mistresses. An unholy ass-fucking accrued about 3 days ago. Prince Dicknose lost his mother in the events that took place. We find him grieving and masturbating at the same damn time.
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Morgan Freeman: We find ourselves in the troublesome kingdom of Sextopia, land of mistresses. An unholy ass-fucking accrued about 3 days ago. Prince Dicknose lost his mother in the events that took place. We find him grieving and masturbating at the same damn time.</p>
Enter Fifa.
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">''Enter Fifa.''</p>
Fifa: My prince, my prince? Where art thou?
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
Dicknose: Here I am.
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Fifa: My prince, my prince? Where art thou?</p>
Fifa: My prince, what might ye be up to?
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Dicknose: Here I am.</p>
Dicknose: Can’t you see my tally drips of the most satisfactory juices?
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Fifa: My prince, what might ye be up to?</p>
Fifa: I see. Why is it so small?
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Dicknose: Can’t you see my tally drips of the most satisfactory juices?</p>
Dicknose: I’ll have you know that it’s almost 3 inches!
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Fifa: I see. Why is it so small?</p>
Fifa: Eye, my prince. I must be off. Good eve!
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Dicknose: I’ll have you know that it’s almost 3 inches!</p>
Dicknose: Good eve to you as well, Fifa.
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Fifa: Eye, my prince. I must be off. Good eve!</p>
Exit Fifa.
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Dicknose: Good eve to you as well, Fifa.</p>
Enter Smucks.
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">''Exit Fifa.''</p>
Smucks: Are you alright, my prince?
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
Dicknose: Oh how I wish I could place my hands upon her hips, and force her into my royal crotch.
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">''Enter Smucks.''</p>
Smucks: You must’ve been pulling your tally to her then, right?
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
Dicknose: Nay, to my late mother.
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Smucks: Are you alright, my prince?</p>
Smucks: I see. Shall I leave you alone then?
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Dicknose: Oh how I wish I could place my hands upon her hips, and force her into my royal crotch.</p>
Dicknose: Nay, it’s quite alright for you to stay.
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Smucks: You must’ve been pulling your tally to her then, right?</p>
Smucks: Shall I clean up your drippings, my prince?
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Dicknose: Nay, to my late mother.</p>
Dicknose: I pray thee, don’t. That’s my dinner.
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Smucks: I see. Shall I leave you alone then?</p>
Smucks: Shall I scoop them into thy mouth then?
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Dicknose: Nay, it’s quite alright for you to stay.</p>
Dicknose: Please do.
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Smucks: Shall I clean up your drippings, my prince?</p>
Smucks feeds Dicknose.
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Dicknose: I pray thee, don’t. That’s my dinner.</p>
Smucks: My prince, if it be Fifa you seek, ask her to the Royal Ball.
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Smucks: Shall I scoop them into thy mouth then?</p>
Dicknose: It’s more complex than you think. For to her, I’m only a prince.
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Dicknose: Please do.</p>
Smucks: Wouldn’t she like to ride a prince?
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">''Smucks feeds Dicknose.''</p>
Dicknose: Nay, not I. She only wallows with those filthy ghetto types.
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Smucks: My prince, if it be Fifa you seek, ask her to the Royal Ball.</p>
Smucks: Then she is ratchet.
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Dicknose: It’s more complex than you think. For to her, I’m only a prince.</p>
Dicknose: A most desirable one too. What am I doing telling you all this? Good eve to you! Leave my quarters at once!
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Smucks: Wouldn’t she like to ride a prince?</p>
Smucks: I only have dimes, my prince.
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Dicknose: Nay, not I. She only wallows with those filthy ghetto types.</p>
Dicknose: Leave those then.
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Smucks: Then she is ratchet.</p>
Smucks: Eye, my prince.
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Dicknose: A most desirable one too. What am I doing telling you all this? Good eve to you! Leave my quarters at once!</p>
Smucks leaves the dimes.
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Smucks: I only have dimes, my prince.</p>
Exit Smucks.
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Dicknose: Leave those then.</p>
Dicknose: There will be much dead sperm tonight.
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Smucks: Eye, my prince.</p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justifycenter">'''<span style="font-size:14.0pt">Act 2'''</span></p>
</p>
Enter Smucks, Dickdose, and Heisenberg.
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">''Smucks leaves the dimes.''</p>
Smucks: Good morrow, King Heisenberg and Prince Dicknose.
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
Dicknose: Good morrow, Smucks.
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">''Exit Smucks.''</p>
Heisenberg: Enough lollygagging. Let’s get to business.
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
Smucks: What do you mean, my king?
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Dicknose: There will be much dead sperm tonight.</p>
Heisenberg: Dicknose has arranged this meeting for us.
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">
</p>
Smucks: A meeting? What for?
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">'''<span style="font-size:14.0pt">Act 2</span>'''</p>
Dicknose: We will be discussing my chances with Fifa.
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">
</p>
Heisenberg: Is she spoken for?
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">''Enter Smucks, Dickdose, and Heisenberg.''</p>
Smucks: Eye, she is. Married to a man named Jimbles, as I recall.
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
Dicknose: Oh, sorrow doth fill my mind. Woe is me.
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Smucks: Good morrow, King Heisenberg and Prince Dicknose.</p>
Heisenberg: Cheer on, my son, for there’s always a way out.
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Dicknose: Good morrow, Smucks.</p>
Dicknose: Father, there is truly not. Oh such pity upon my titty.
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Heisenberg: Enough lollygagging. Let’s get to business.</p>
Smucks: Nay, my prince. Your father is right. Let’s plan a heist to kill this wretched Jimbles who separates thy sword from its sheath.
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Smucks: What do you mean, my king?</p>
Dicknose: Eye, good Smucks. We shall. Where doth this bloke live?
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Heisenberg: Dicknose has arranged this meeting for us.</p>
Heisenberg: I’ll check this year’s censes.
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Smucks: A meeting? What for?</p>
Smucks: I shall slice him with my rapier. What might be your weapons of choice?
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Dicknose: We will be discussing my chances with Fifa.</p>
Dicknose: My thrice-blessed lance.
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Heisenberg: Is she spoken for?</p>
Heisenberg: Fuck you guys. I’m getting my glock.
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Smucks: Eye, she is. Married to a man named Jimbles, as I recall.</p>
Smucks: So we invade tomorrow night?
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Dicknose: Oh, sorrow doth fill my mind. Woe is me.</p>
Heisenberg: Why not tonight?
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Heisenberg: Cheer on, my son, for there’s always a way out.</p>
Smucks: I cannot. For I have high intensity Zumba tonight.
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Dicknose: Father, there is truly not. Oh such pity upon my titty.</p>
Dicknose: Good God! Have you gone mad?
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Smucks: Nay, my prince. Your father is right. Let’s plan a heist to kill this wretched Jimbles who separates thy sword from its sheath.</p>
Smucks: Nay, just a bit chubby. I must pick up my tutu from the drycleaners now. Good morrow to you both!
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Dicknose: Eye, good Smucks. We shall. Where doth this bloke live?</p>
Exit Smucks.
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Heisenberg: I’ll check this year’s censes.</p>
Heisenberg: Eye, unto you as well. My son, the Royal Ball is tomorrow. What shall you wear?
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Smucks: I shall slice him with my rapier. What might be your weapons of choice?</p>
Dicknose: I shall not need clothes, for I shall be thrusting all night with Fifa.
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Dicknose: My thrice-blessed lance.</p>
Heisenberg: I see. I must be off. The bitch is hungry.
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Heisenberg: Fuck you guys. I’m getting my glock.</p>
Dicknose: Good morrow.
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Smucks: So we invade tomorrow night?</p>
Exit Heisenberg.
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Heisenberg: Why not tonight?</p>
Dicknose: I must go and practice my thrusts. I know I shall master the 69!
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Smucks: I cannot. For I have high intensity Zumba tonight.</p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justifycenter">'''<span style="font-size:14.0pt">Act 3'''</span></p>
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Dicknose: Good God! Have you gone mad?</p>
Enter Heisenberg and Smucks.
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Smucks: Nay, just a bit chubby. I must pick up my tutu from the drycleaners now. Good morrow to you both!</p>
Dicknose: Good eve to you both! I’ve mastered the 69, father!
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">''Exit Smucks.''</p>
Heisenberg: Good for you, son.
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Heisenberg: Eye, unto you as well. My son, the Royal Ball is tomorrow. What shall you wear?</p>
Smucks: Enough chatter! Let’s begin our heist!
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Dicknose: I shall not need clothes, for I shall be thrusting all night with Fifa.</p>
Dicknose: Eye! Do you have the time?
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Heisenberg: I see. I must be off. The bitch is hungry.</p>
Heisenberg: 6:00 pm. The ball begins at 8:00 pm.
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Dicknose: Good morrow.</p>
Smucks: It shall take us wee under an hour to get to Jimbles house from here.
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">''Exit Heisenberg.''</p>
Dicknose: We have the time. Let’s go.
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
They arrive at '6:52 pm'.
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Dicknose: I must go and practice my thrusts. I know I shall master the 69!</p>
Heisenberg: Here we are! I shall try to gain entrance.
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">'''<span style="font-size:14.0pt">Act 3</span>'''</p>
*Knocks*
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">
</p>
Jimbles: Who knocks upon my door?
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">
</p>
Heisenberg: I am the one who knocks.
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">
</p>
Jimbles: Well you can’t come in!
<p class="MsoNormal">''Enter Heisenberg and Smucks.''</p>
Dicknose: It be your king, prince and a random faggot!
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
Jimbles: By my mother’s tits! I’m coming to the door now!
<p class="MsoNormal">Dicknose: Good eve to you both! I’ve mastered the 69, father!</p>
*Door opens*
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Heisenberg: Good for you, son.</p>
Jimbles: Why hello! It is my greatest pleasure!
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Smucks: Enough chatter! Let’s begin our heist!</p>
Heisenberg: Suck my dick in hell, Jimbles!
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Dicknose: Eye! Do you have the time?</p>
*Gunfire*
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Heisenberg: 6:00 pm. The ball begins at 8:00 pm.</p>
Jimbles lies dead.
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Smucks: It shall take us wee under an hour to get to Jimbles house from here.</p>
Dicknose: What the fuck, father?
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Dicknose: We have the time. Let’s go.</p>
Heisenberg: What do you mean?
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
Smucks: I thought we were going to use teamwork?
<p class="MsoNormal">''They arrive at ''''6:52 pm''''.''</p>
Heisenberg: Nay.
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
Dicknose: Well shit. I brought my thrice-blessed lance for nothing then!
<p class="MsoNormal">Heisenberg: Here we are! I shall try to gain entrance.</p>
Heisenberg: It’s 7:00 pm now, my son. Go to Fifa and tell her Jimbles stood her up!
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">''*Knocks*''</p>
Dicknose: Then I shall ask her to go with me! She can’t refuse! She already bought the tickets and there are no refunds! Good eve, bitches!
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
Exit Dicknose.
<p class="MsoNormal">Jimbles: Who knocks upon my door?</p>
30 minutes later, in Fifa’s bedchambers…
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Heisenberg: I am the one who knocks.</p>
Fifa: I should stuff my bra!
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Jimbles: Well you can’t come in!</p>
Enter messenger.
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Dicknose: It be your king, prince and a random faggot!</p>
Messenger: Fifa! You must hear of what happened!
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Jimbles: By my mother’s tits! I’m coming to the door now!</p>
Fifa: Speak of it.
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">''*Door opens*''</p>
Messenger: Your husband, Jimbles, was murdered about 30 minutes ago! He was shot by a tall, bald and bearded man wearing a sweater!
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
Fifa: Speak no more of it! I can’t stand the pain! Go thee home!
<p class="MsoNormal">Jimbles: Why hello! It is my greatest pleasure!</p>
Exit messenger.
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Heisenberg: Suck my dick in hell, Jimbles!</p>
Fifa: Oh God in heaven, why? He was my sugar daddy! I cannot live without him, and I will not. I shall hang myself in my garden while listening to “Still Loving You” by Scorpions.
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">''*Gunfire*''</p>
Exit Fifa.
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
Enter Dicknose.
<p class="MsoNormal">''Jimbles lies dead.''</p>
Dicknose: Fifa! You won’t believe it! That little twet stood you up! I guess you’re gonna have to ride my dick, but life goes on!
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Dicknose: What the fuck, father?</p>
*Quiet*
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Heisenberg: What do you mean?</p>
Dicknose: Fifa? Are you at home? I guess not. I just realized that I’m hungry for some potato yankings. I’ll go look in her garden for some!
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Smucks: I thought we were going to use teamwork?</p>
Fifa hanging dead.
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Heisenberg: Nay.</p>
Dicknose: My Fifa, why? I shaved my balls for nothing. I truly wish I could’ve screwed you. My heart doth skip beats and my hand doth pull my meat, since now you’re gone, I have no one to tweet. I swore to myself that if I didn’t fornicate with you on a soon day, I would surely become a gay.
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Dicknose: Well shit. I brought my thrice-blessed lance for nothing then!</p>
Enter Smucks.
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Heisenberg: It’s 7:00 pm now, my son. Go to Fifa and tell her Jimbles stood her up!</p>
Smucks: Fifa lay dead in your arms and not a prayer you speak? This is a blasphemy bigger than my butt cheek.
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Dicknose: Then I shall ask her to go with me! She can’t refuse! She already bought the tickets and there are no refunds! Good eve, bitches!</p>
Dicknose: Phooey on your prayers! Our God has abandoned the both of us.
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">''Exit Dicknose.''</p>
Smucks: You’re still going to the ball, aren’t you?
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
Dicknose: Of course! I have to! I shall bring her corpse as my date and we shall make love under the moonlit sky!
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">'''''30 minutes later, in Fifa’s bedchambers…'''''</p>
Smucks: But, she dead.
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
Dicknose: I must be off. I’m late as it is. Good eve!
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
Exit Dicknose and Fifa’s corpse.
<p class="MsoNormal">Fifa: I should stuff my bra!</p>
Smucks: I should text the king and tell him what’s going on.
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">''Enter messenger.''</p>
At the ball…
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
Enter Dicknose and Fifa’s corpse.
<p class="MsoNormal">Messenger: Fifa! You must hear of what happened!</p>
Dicknose: Out of the way, bitches! Check out my sick dance moves!
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Fifa: Speak of it.</p>
Enter Smucks and Heisenberg.
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Messenger: Your husband, Jimbles, was murdered about 30 minutes ago! He was shot by a tall, bald and bearded man wearing a sweater!</p>
Heisenberg: Where is he?
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Fifa: Speak no more of it! I can’t stand the pain! Go thee home!</p>
Smucks: I think he’s the one dancing with the corpse, King Dipshit.
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">''Exit messenger.''</p>
Dicknose: Ah, my friends! Welcome!
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
Heisenberg: Put her down, son. She’s dead! We must bury her.
<p class="MsoNormal">Fifa: Oh God in heaven, why? He was my sugar daddy! I cannot live without him, and I will not. I shall hang myself in my garden while listening to “Still Loving You” by Scorpions.</p>
Dicknose: Shut your mouth, fuckface! I’m gonna tap her ass!
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">''Exit Fifa.''</p>
Smucks: NO! That is grave raping!
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
Heisenberg: He’s right, son! Put her down, and no one breaks any laws.
<p class="MsoNormal">''Enter Dicknose.''</p>
Dicknose: I’ll do what I want!
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
Exit Dicknose and Fifa’s corpse.
<p class="MsoNormal">Dicknose: Fifa! You won’t believe it! That little twet stood you up! I guess you’re gonna have to ride my dick, but life goes on!</p>
Heisenberg: We tried to stop him.
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">''*Quiet*''</p>
Smucks: No we didn’t.
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
Heisenberg: Whatever. Let’s get our fucking groove on!
<p class="MsoNormal">Dicknose: Fifa? Are you at home? I guess not. I just realized that I’m hungry for some potato yankings. I’ll go look in her garden for some!</p>
Outside…
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">''Fifa hanging dead.''</p>
Enter Dicknose and Fifa’s corpse.
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
Dicknose: Well, hello there, beautiful. Let’s get right to deez nuts!
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Dicknose: My Fifa, why? I shaved my balls for nothing. I truly wish I could’ve screwed you. My heart doth skip beats and my hand doth pull my meat, since now you’re gone, I have no one to tweet. I swore to myself that if I didn’t fornicate with you on a soon day, I would surely become a gay.</p>
Enter Fifa’s Ghost.
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">''Enter Smucks.''</p>
Fifa’s Ghost: Don’t do it! If you do, it will take your soul into an infinite void of darkness.
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
Dicknose: Big deal. Fuck you! Oh wait, I’m already gonna do that!
<p class="MsoNormal">Smucks: Fifa lay dead in your arms and not a prayer you speak? This is a blasphemy bigger than my butt cheek.</p>
Exit Fifa’s Ghost.
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Dicknose: Phooey on your prayers! Our God has abandoned the both of us.</p>
Dicknose: Alright, where was I? Oh yeah! Off comes the dress!
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Smucks: You’re still going to the ball, aren’t you?</p>
Dicknose makes love with Fifa’s corpse.
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Dicknose: Of course! I have to! I shall bring her corpse as my date and we shall make love under the moonlit sky!</p>
Dicknose: Ah YEEEAAAAH! I came! Oh God that was good. Ouch! My dick is on fire! Help! Oh God, my chest! I need some Tums up in this bitch! NOOOOO!!!
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Smucks: But, she dead.</p>
Dicknose lies dead.
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Dicknose: I must be off. I’m late as it is. Good eve!</p>
Enter Heisenberg and Smucks.
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">''Exit Dicknose and Fifa’s corpse.''</p>
Heisenberg: My son lies dead because of his deed. A truly great man he was. However, lust took over his morality and turned him bitter like the sewer waters. There shall be no continuation of the Strombolli Dynasty. Hey, Smucks, do you want to be prince of Sextopia?
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
Smucks: Sure!
<p class="MsoNormal">Smucks: I should text the king and tell him what’s going on.</p>
Heisenberg: Good! Come on back inside then. We have maids waiting for us!
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">'''''At the ball…'''''</p>
Exit Heisenberg and Smucks.
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">
</p>
Morgan Freeman: This was the end of Dicknose Strombolli, Prince of Sextopia. Lust is a powerful thing that can turn men into swine, and swine into Mexicans. It just goes to show, if you want to make love, do it in your bed, and with a lover alive, not already dead. Good eve.
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">
</p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">''Enter Dicknose'<span and Fifa’s corpsestyle="font-size:14.0pt">Finis'''</span></p>
The whole video made me sick, so I stuck it up my asshole and never worried about it again. Da end.
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Dicknose: Out of the way, bitches! Check out my sick dance moves!</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">''Enter Smucks and Heisenberg.''</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Heisenberg: Where is he?</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Smucks: I think he’s the one dancing with the corpse, King Dipshit.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Dicknose: Ah, my friends! Welcome!</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Heisenberg: Put her down, son. She’s dead! We must bury her.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Dicknose: Shut your mouth, fuckface! I’m gonna tap her ass!</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Smucks: NO! That is grave raping!</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Heisenberg: He’s right, son! Put her down, and no one breaks any laws.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Dicknose: I’ll do what I want!</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">''Exit Dicknose and Fifa’s corpse.''</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Heisenberg: We tried to stop him.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Smucks: No we didn’t.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Heisenberg: Whatever. Let’s get our fucking groove on!</p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">
</p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">
</p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">'''''Outside…'''''</p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">
</p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">''Enter Dicknose and Fifa’s corpse.''</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Dicknose: Well, hello there, beautiful. Let’s get right to deez nuts!</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">''Enter Fifa’s Ghost.''</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Fifa’s Ghost: Don’t do it! If you do, it will take your soul into an infinite void of darkness.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Dicknose: Big deal. Fuck you! Oh wait, I’m already gonna do that!</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">''Exit Fifa’s Ghost.''</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Dicknose: Alright, where was I? Oh yeah! Off comes the dress!</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">''Dicknose makes love with Fifa’s corpse.''</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Dicknose: Ah YEEEAAAAH! I came! Oh God that was good. Ouch! My dick is on fire! Help! Oh God, my chest! I need some Tums up in this bitch! NOOOOO!!!</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">''Dicknose lies dead.''</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">''Enter Heisenberg and Smucks.''</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Heisenberg: My son lies dead because of his deed. A truly great man he was. However, lust took over his morality and turned him bitter like the sewer waters. There shall be no continuation of the Strombolli Dynasty. Hey, Smucks, do you want to be prince of Sextopia?</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Smucks: Sure!</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Heisenberg: Good! Come on back inside then. We have maids waiting for us!</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">''Exit Heisenberg and Smucks.''</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">Morgan Freeman: This was the end of Dicknose Strombolli, Prince of Sextopia. Lust is a powerful thing that can turn men into swine, and swine into Mexicans. It just goes to show, if you want to make love, do it in your bed, and with a lover alive, not already dead. Good eve.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify">
</p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">
</p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">'''<span style="font-size:14.0pt">Finis</span>'''</p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">
</p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">
</p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The whole video made me sick, so I stuck it up my asshole and never worried about it again. Da end.</p>
[[Category:MOTHER OF FUCK THIS PAGE IS LONG LIKE MY PAINIS]]
[[Category:Vidya games]]
[[Category:DIALOGUE!]]
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