Spongebob Squarepants: Squidward Retribution
Good evening. Or whenever the hell you're reading this. My name is Fred. Not gonna reveal my last name for privacy reasons. (No it's not Figglehorn, otherwise, I would've been dragged out onto the streets and shot by now.) I used to work at Nickelodeon Studios. Not as an intern though. (In my dreams maybe.) Instead, I was a storyboard artist for many of their shows. Fairly Oddparents, Danny Phantom, My Life as a Teenage Robot, Rocko's Modern Life, etc. I worked on all of those classic shows that everyone enjoyed. Or at least I assume everyone enjoyed it. I'm pretty sure that all those shows had their haters.
But that's beside the point. Another one of the shows I worked on was a big hit that you may have heard of. And I'm quite honestly surprised if you haven't. It's called "SpongeBob SquarePants". Well, what many people don't know is that there were actually quite a few scrapped episodes made for the show. Most of these were unfinished or never made it past concept. Some of them were finished but never aired due to a variety of reasons. However, there is one episode that stood out from all of the scrapped episodes. Because while most of these episodes were innocent and can actually be found online through some digging, this episode does not fit in either of those. No sir, mam, or whatever you identify as. I'm afraid to say that this episode was actually scrapped for being way too disturbing for children and mainstream audiences.
You see, there was an animator for the show, his name was Gerald. Gerald said that he had this idea for a 30-minute mega special that would "amaze" everyone. A few other team members would help him with this project. Everyone else waited in anticipation as they worked week after week after week creating this ultra mega special for the finale. And when the day finally came, the entire show team and crew gathered around for the test screening, along with the other test viewers, to see the "amazing" special that Gerald had promised. He gave us a VHS tape and left the studio. No reason was given. He just walked out and drove away. Now, I can see why. He'd probably get bad looks from everyone and would've been fired on the spot for reasons that I'll tell you in a second. The tape had a blank, white-label, with words written in black sharpie. the label read, "SpongeBob SquarePants: Squidward's Retribution". We all thought that it was a fucked up joke (the entire special could've been passed off as one). Not a very funny joke, but we still thought it was another one of Gerald's practical jokes. Finally, after 2 months of waiting, we put in the VHS, and the special had begun.
The normal intro was replaced by a black screen with music that sounded like it was ripped straight from a Boards of Canda album. The title card read "Squidward's Retribution" in plain, red text. It showed the normal credits with a few people missing. The episode then began.
The episode began with a shot of SpongeBob's pineapple house. But this time, it seemed like it was rotting. I guess after 5 years, it's about damn time. It then cut to SpongeBob sitting in his chair, watching static on the TV. He just sat there staring at the static for roughly 30 seconds. At first, we thought the tape was broken, but before we had the chance to eject the tape, it cut to static for like 4 seconds then cut to a shot of Squidward playing his clarinet. The audio was distorted beyond comprehension. Then a knock on his door was heard. He stopped playing his clarinet, stomped down, and then opened the door. Only for him to find SpongeBob and Patrick wearing a beanie. Both of whom had jellyfish nets. SpongeBob asked Squidward if he wanted to join them in their jellyfishing spree. He of course angrily responded "NO! FOR THE FINAL TIME!! I DON'T WANNA GO JELLYFISHING WITH YOU TWO MORONS AND I NEVER WILL!!! NOW OOOOOUUUTTT!!!!" The episode at first seemed normal, and we all thought so. Until the next scene.
Squidward stomped back up to his room. He was all red to show that he was angry. He then shouted, "I've had enough of those two! I need to get rid of them! In fact, I need to get rid of everyone in Bikini Bottom! HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!" As he was saying all that, his face turned into a crazed, insane look. He then ran back downstairs. He tripped and fell down, but he seemed completely fine. Squidward ran to his living and got out a FUCKING KATANA!! Holy shit! It went to a shot of the sunny, bright sky. It then faded and transitioned to the night sky. Squidward had his weapons ready. He still had his insane look. He then said, "I'll get rid of Bikini Bottom! Then I'll never have to put up with their BULLSHIT ever again! HAHAHHAAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!" At this point, we were so afraid of what this special was gonna turn into that we barely noticed the swearing. Oh, not like this show was made for children anyways! The special continued.
Squidward was running over to SpongeBob's house. He busts down his door and walked up the stairs and into SpongeBob's bedroom. SpongeBob was fast asleep. The time on his clock was 1:02 am after all. Squidward picked up SpongeBob. SpongeBob woke up, his eyes were half-opened. He then said in a strange Russian accent, "S-Squidwar-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!" Squidward was eating SpongeBob, taking giant bites. Nothing came out though, since after all, he was nothing but sponge.
The next to go was Patrick. Squidward had his katana with him this time. Patrick was in his chair, snoring. He, too, was fast asleep. Squidward pulled out his katana, sliced Patrick's arms off, and proceeded to eat them like how he ate that coral in the Pizza Delivery episode! All the while Patrick had been woken up immediately after his left arm was cut off and screamed in pain and agony has Squidward ate his arms! Squidward finally sliced off Patrick's head, killing him instantly. Blood was all over Patrick's corpse, his chair, the floor, and even Squidward. Squidward then pulled out a comically large piece of dynamite, lit it off, and ran from Patrick's house. He made it out just in time, as a giant mushroom cloud was created. Patrick's house was obliterated, as well as Squidward's and Spongebob's.
Squidward slept behind a giant rock with coral around it. It transitioned to a dream sequence where Squidward was a giant in space and crushed the entire solar system with his bare hands. It was morning. Squidward woke up. He ran to the Krusty Krab. Mr. Krabs was standing next to the cash register. "Squidward! You're late!" Mr. Krabs yelled at Squidward. Before he could say anything else, Squidward jumped onto Mr. Krabs and proceeded to eat his claws! Blood was spilling all over Mr. Krabs and Squidward, as Krabs was screaming in pain! At this point, most of the team, crew, and even the other test viewers had left the studio. Except for 4 people. Me, Josh, an animator for the show who worked on the special, and 2 other test viewers. "Squidward! Why would you do this!? I treated you like a son me boy!" he screamed at the top of his lungs as Squidward bit into his hip. Squidward took his katana and stabbed Krabs right through the heart. Mr. Krabs' head fell to the ground. He was laying there, still somewhat alive. Blood was spewing through his heart. He took his last breath and died right there. He was laying in a pool of his own blood. At that point all of the customers had run off screaming, hoping to not get murdered and partially eaten today. It cut to Squidward pouring gasoline all over the restaurant floor, lit a match, and dropped it. He ran out as fast as he could, but he still caught himself on fire. He looked back at the burning restaurant. "That's for treating me like garbage for all those years!"
The final scene of the episode showed a burning Bikini Bottom, and Squidward was holding an empty bucket and 2 packs of matches, indicating that he had set the town on fire. He stood there, dead bodies of other citizens in the background. He started laughing sadistically. The episode faded to black, and the credits rolled. The music again sounded like something out of a Boards of Canada album. You could hear whispers saying, "Bikini Bottom went", "No more SpongeBob", "The end of the road", and other things similar to that. It cut to the end logos while it sounded like a little girl was screaming in pain. The Nick logo was blood red. And the tape ended.
The tape had cut to static. We all just sat there, disturbed. Thankful that it's over. Everyone was silent. We didn't know how to respond, let alone what to say. It goes without saying that nobody was gonna let this thing air on television or anywhere else for that matter. We eventually threw the tape into the trash, however, we weren't fast enough to destroy it. So it's still out there, somewhere.
It turns out that Gerald had committed a murder-suicide, taking his wife with him, which is honestly a shame, since his wife was a very kind, loving, and open-minded person. Why did she have to get married to that psycho? Eventually, mostly everyone quit (including myself), and the team had to be replaced. Me and my girlfriend, now wife, moved to the UK and got married there.
I've had awful Insomnia ever since I watched that episode. Whenever I fall asleep, I have nightmares about that psycho, Squidward, murdering me in my sleep. One day, however, we received a knock on our door. Some random dude dressed up in a Squidward costume with a katana attempted to chop us up into cubes, and even sliced off my finger! We were lucky to make it out alive and call 911. The guy was later sentenced to life in prison for attempted murder and the story was all over worldwide news the next day after the call had been leaked onto YouTube.
Thankfully, nothing has happened ever since. Other than my wife and friends, I have never told this story to anyone. One of my friends recommended that I should write something about this to help get it off of my chest, so here we are, I guess. I have one more note for you all. If you EVER see a VHS tape with a label that says, "SpongeBob SquarePants: Squidward's Retribution", DO NOT WATCH IT!! Unless you of course wanna be scarred for life and/or cursed. My name is Fred, and have yourself a wonderful day. Or at least a better one then I'm having.
Originally on Geoshea's Lost Episodes Wiki
| Comments • 0 |
Loading comments...
|