Teen Titans Go - Slade's Revenge

One day I was searching for DVDs of cartoons on the Internet. As I searched, I found a DVD for Teen Titans Go that promised a special scrapped episode, and ordered it out of curiosity about how it would've gone. After three days, I got that mysterious DVD and prepared my lunch as I put it in my computer's DVD player.

The intro was... different. For one, the names in the background disappeared before each transition to the next one, and Beast Boy as a gorilla was shown playing with a child before a rifle was pointed towards him, in an apparent nod to Harambe. This didn't strike me as strange as I thought it was just your average subtle inappropriate joke. But the scene of the chibi Titans dancing was changed in a more noticeable and shocking way. In this episode, the Titans were just heaps of body parts, with blood below them, and Cyborg also had a puddle of what looked like oil. Their heads lay on top, bearing pained expressions. I briefly felt shocked by this scene, but I shrugged it off after a while, thinking it was just a dark parody made by someone on the internet. After all, it reminded me of a time I watched an Animaniacs parody where the Warners fell to their deaths and thought it was real, so... maybe it was the same case here? When it went to the episode, however, it showed the title "Slade's Revenge", and the writers listed were Michael Jelenic and Aaron Horvath. This made me wonder, did this mean Slade would be appearing? And what would he get up to?

The episode started normally, with the Titans watching TV in the Titans Tower's living room. Robin said "Oh man, this show is fun!", and Starfire replied, "Yes, and the so hilarious!". Raven felt sleepy and announced to the rest of the Titans that she'd go take a nap. Going to her room, however, she was ambushed by some people in ski masks who chloroformed her and took her away. After a "Three hours later" time card, it went back to the living room, where the other Titans noticed that Raven had been in her room for too long and decided to go check on her. When they did, they deduced that she had been kidnapped and followed a trail of ashes that led them to a dark basement. Once there, they came up to Raven shackled to one of the walls. Raven woke up, but before she could even realize where she was, a laser hit her, making her explode as organs and blood flew toward the camera! I was shocked by this. Whatever this episode was, it sure was not a parody, but it couldn't have been legit either! All the Titans gasped and recoiled in fear as a screen on one of the other walls turned on, revealing Slade, Brother Blood, Jinx, Gizmo, Mammoth, See-More, and Billy Numerous standing there and watching with smirks. "WHAT DID YOU DO TO RAVEN, YOU MANIACS?!", Robin shouted. Slade just cackled evilly, before announcing, "A favor, of course". "How is THAT a favor?", Cyborg demanded. "She gets to go quickly, unlike the rest of you nuisances", Slade calmly explained. The screen then turned off and left the Titans pondering what that meant, when Brother Blood stepped in first. "Ever since that time you five irritated me half to death with your freaking waffle chant, I swore you'd all pay...", he said. Then Jinx came in and explained, "We have a score to settle with you too, you disgraces to superheroism. Remember that time we had a day off and you just had to come along and ruin it for us?" "Raven even brutally beat me up just for accidentally hitting her with a baseball!", Billy snapped. "But it was all just a joke!", Beast Boy stammered, chuckling nervously. "Yes, the no hard feelings?", Starfire asked while shivering. "Oh so you want jokes?", Slade replied menacingly. "We'll show you some jokes!" Just then a trapdoor opened below the Titans, and they all fell into a torture dungeon, each one landing on a different operating table that instantly bound them down.

After the hard landing, Beast Boy spat out a few teeth, but Slade stomped on them to show how much mercy he'd give the Titans. He then announced, "Since Beast Boy here is the most annoying, we're starting with him", and stepped out of the room. Then Brother Blood came in, and he told Beast Boy, "Are you thirsty?". Beast Boy replied, "Boy am I ever!", and Brother Blood placed a barrel of a green liquid several feet behind him. "Enjoy your soda!", he sneered as he took a few steps back. Despite himself, Beast Boy couldn't say no to some soda, so he turned himself into an elephant and proceeded to suck the liquid with his trunk and spray it down his neck, only to scream in pain as smoke came out of his mouth. "What's the matter? You don't like ac-um, soda?", Brother Blood gloated. Mammoth then ran in and snapped off both of Beast Boy's tusks. "This is for upstaging me at breakdancing, you walking headache!", he yelled as he used one tusk to cut off Beast Boy's tongue, which he stomped on to give it a waffle-like texture before tossing it to Brother Blood. "What poetic justice!", the villain sneered as Mammoth used the other tusk to cut his torso open, revealing that the acid had melted all of Beast Boy's internal organs. Beast Boy struggled to wrap his trunk around his tormenter, but he suddenly let out a loud death rattle and fell limp, his eyes rolling back into his skull as Mammoth laughed like a maniac.

Starfire grew panicked and tried to break her shackles, but they didn't budge no matter what. Jinx came up to her and said, "I think it's best for us girls to hang out together, don't you think? Let's start this session with a manicure!". As Starfire's hand wriggled, Jinx shot a bad-luck spell at her, paralyzing her from the chin down. Starfire tried in vain to move her hand, but it didn't move one bit, so Jinx snickered at her empty efforts as she approached with a pair of tweezers. Then, Jinx placed the tweezers on Starfire's fingernail and forced it open with one swift blow. She then did the same with the other nine nails, before cleaning each one with alcohol. Starfire then started screaming as her head convulsed so hard that it slammed against the table, bruising her face badly. Jinx just laughed, and mockingly asked, "How about a drink? Just don't drink and fly!". With that, she poured the rest of the alcohol down Starfire's body as she gagged, then proceeded to light a match against her teeth and let it fall down her throat. In a few moments, Starfire's insides were set ablaze, fire erupting from her eyes and mouth as Jinx undid her paralysis to let her convulse freely. Starfire didn't scream, which I assumed was because her vocal cords were burnt so quickly, but she did jerk and twitch like she was in the center of a 10-Richter earthquake. Starfire tried to make a last attempt to save herself and her friends as the fire in her eyes started to glow green, but that only resulted in her exploding in green and orange flames, her heart falling next to Robin.

Then See-More ran in and confronted Cyborg, snapping, "All I wanted to do the other day was paint, and you treated me like garbage just 'cause you didn't like the way I did you!". He then proceeded to take out a helmet and say, "Look what Gizmo made to help me! Its special circuits are irresistible to the nearest robot!", before putting it on his head. Cyborg tried to resist the circuits, but it was all futile. He tore his operating table in half and proceeded to smash his left arm and his feet into pieces with a sledgehammer, before falling over in pain. Eventually, See-More took out a knife and forced Cyborg to cut his cheek open, take the blood and paint him a picture. Cyborg was made to comply, and he used his blood to draw a happy See-More on the wall. After that, he almost fainted, only to be tased and sprayed with water and receive an electric shock so strong, he died in a prolonged and torturous voltage.

Robin was the last Titan left. Slade approached him and said, "Anything you want to say before you die, Robin?" "Please let me go, I promise I won't treat any of you like crap ever again!", Robin pleaded in fear, but Slade didn't listen. He just clicked his fingers, and Gizmo came in, wearing a giant version of his robot suit from "The HIVE Five". "Oh, Robin? Remember this?", he gloated. "Thank you for keeping the original in one piece the other day!" Robin couldn't say anything. He knew Gizmo's revenge would be dreadful, so he decided to let him get it over with. Gizmo's first step was to make Robin eat Starfire's heart. The size of it made Robin almost choke and black out a few times, but he eventually did it. Then, Gizmo broke the bones in Robin's arms and legs and opened his chest, tying him up with his own intestines and sewing Starfire's heart to his own as Robin turned his eyes to the camera in horror. Eventually, Gizmo's robot sat on Robin, killing him instantly.

It then cut to the villains drinking champagne and chanting "Good riddance, Toddler Titans!". Then the episode ended, and the credits rolled over a hyper-realistic image of the Titans' rotting corpses, an image so horrifying that it made me throw up. As the DVD ended, I began to ponder the episode's plot; it seemed like a cautionary tale about driving someone up the wall one too many times, seeing as the whole reason that the Titans were tortured was that the villains had had enough of their meddling. Then, I ejected the DVD, put it in a garbage bag, and threw it away.

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