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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles lost episode: Difference between revisions

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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles lost episode (view source)

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Something was…off. Wait a minute. Their heads were two sizes too large, and one of them had a massive eye. “Shredder’s really done it this time!” Rafael said. “How will we fight crime with our swollen heads!” They yelled. Something was wandering around in the background, it looked like a jackolantern. This seemed like the middle of an episode, not a beginning. 
 
“Therre’s“There’s something totally rad about this pizza!” One of the turtles said. It was covered in pubic hair and lemons. A shot of Mr. Clean was in the background. Then he immediately said “I don’t feel so well, and fell over sick”. There was just a shot of foot soldiers carrying the turtle away with cartoon “X’s” in his eyes. “ You killed  him!” They yelled. The camera froze suddenly and there was a highly stylized shot of three turtles standing at a grave. A strange eulogy began. One of the turtles was at the podium, del iveringdelivering a sermon to a crowd. “He wasn’t human, he was but a turtle, but we saw him as human. He was representative of a person. And though he’s gone, his legacy lives on.” I was really confused, I mean, I thought this was a kids’ tv show. I never saw an episode where one of the teenage mutant turtles died. 
 
My ear fell off. The doctors told me I was going deaf, but they didn’t tell me that I would actually lose the ear itself. The bloody hole was singing with pain, so I taped some gauze to it and continued watching. “We have to stop shredder”. The turtles said. “This time he’s gone too far.” There was a scene showing shredder, the evil samurai, plotting with Hitler to stop the turtles. There was a shot of shredder dressing up Nazis in foot soldier garb and seNDing them to fight the turtles. The next shot showed all of the turtles sitting around, eating pizza and watching TV in the sewers when several foot soldier Nazis came in. One of them shot Leonardo in the head and wrapped a bag over it. They grabbed Michaelangelo while he cried and pulled out a combat knife. The next scene was highly graphic and disturbing. They cut Michaelangelo’s back open by dragging the razor sharp edge around his shell. With a violent peeling back, they ripped off the back of his shell while his organs struggled to maintain composure. He stumbled around the hideout, bleeding before his organs completely fell out and he collapsed on the floor. 
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Shredder unflinchingly cleaned the floor. He was dressed as a cleaning lady now, though he still had the samurai mask on. He was trying to clean blood out of tiles as the interior of the technodrome looked like  a massive bathroom. “I know you have humanity.” Splinter said, choking. “Please.” He said. “Let me live.” The glue trap fell down instantly as the rat struggled in the trap, attempting to gasp for air. The water bubbled and bubbled as the massive container of water appeared to be a bucket. 
 
It gurgled and then fell still. FootsoldiersFoot soldiers pulled the chain up, revealing Splinter frozen, mouth agape, teeth glistening and curly rat tail limp. There was a shot of houses with locked doors, people with their head down, and four coffins being lowered into the ground as the end music of the VHS played. Shredder pulled his trademark mask off, revealing…my face. Or maybe not. It was hard to tell as I was almost completely blind, but it looked like my face. It was 9:30 and if I didn’t have a new character designed by 2 AM tomorrow, I’d surely be fired. And where the fuck was my pizza?!?!
 
I was having more problems as I had become completely numb from the waist down. My nose fell off like Michael Jackson as I stumbled into the bathroom, vomiting up blood and some of my internal organs.  I stumbled into the kitchen, realizing that sandwich I’d eaten earlier had been contaminated. I could’ve called 9-1-1, but instead I stumbled into the kitchen, fumbling through the cupboards and pulling out a can of clam chowder covered in hair. I peeled it open, poured the bowl, hit 69 on the microwave and fell backwards, as my intestines seemed to be bunching up and falling out. I hesitantly pulled them back in and clenched to keep them in place, then I tripped as my eye fell out and was dangling out of its socket. I tried to dice some scallions to put on the chowder but my finger slipped and I chopped off three of the five upper 1/3rds3rd's of my index finger on the right hand. I sneezed, and lacking a nose, my jaw flew off and landed in the sink. My tongue dangled down covered in blood as I tried to put the VHS slipcase back into the player. Something with a massive jaw was crawling toward me, but it was in my blindspotblind spot. I heard the wind rustle outside. That better be my fucking pizza.
 
The blood vessel in my ear had become clotted so my head began to swell with blood and drip out of the bloody nostril holes. I struggled to eat my clam chowder before choking and stumbling into the bathroom. My right kneecap shattered as my broken ankle tripped and smashed into the tile floor. I heard a “pop” and the cap slipped up from my knee into my upper thigh as a hollow disjointed segment lacking cartilage twisted like a chicken bone and I fell into the tub, slamming my head on the side, knocking out my tooth fillings and sending both of my eyeballs flying across the room. I had been holding an Axe deodorant stick the flew off, hitting some Q tips that flew into the air and came down with such propulsive force that they became lodged in and broke my urethra and penis bone. 
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