The Cockroaches Finally Win

Prologue

Back in my day, there was a little cartoon called Oggy & The Cockroaches. Although it was a blatant rip-off of Tom & Jerry with a cool theme song, I actually liked this show. It had great animation, jokes that weren't at all corny, and characters that had a lot of charm, with Dee Dee being my favorite. However, one day, I didn't anymore, because of my no-good friend named Billy. Billy sent me an e-mail, and it said:

Dear Weeb, Oggy & The Cockroaches is your favorite anime, isn't it? Well, it won't be anymore, not when I send you this 100% real episode! See You, Billy

"Gee whiz!", I thought to myself. This episode was truly going to be magnificent, that is, until I watched it.

The Episode

The episode started off with a modified intro, showing the cockroaches swapping places with Oggy and Jack. "Oh boy!", I wondered. This episode was truly gonna be great! After the intro was over, the episode had a title card that said, "The Cockroaches Finally Win", written in hyper-realistic bloody letters that smeared on the screen.

The episode began with Oggy sitting down to watch some television. All of the sudden, a news report came up saying, "Attention! The world is about to be bombed by a nuclear bomb in 45 minutes!", and Oggy was dead-scared in the middle of his living room. He ran around frantically, hoping that nothing would go wrong, that is, until the cockroaches came into the room. They were laughing and thinking of their next big scheme to try and get of rid of Oggy from torturing them. Marky came up with a good idea, which was to make Oggy think that he could be some from the nuclear bomb.

The 3 then go to cut a piece of cardboard out from a cardboard box, and then they scribbled all over it with crayons to make it look like a fallout shelter. Oggy, being gullible, took this bait, and went outside to try to climb into it. However, he fell on his face multiple times, with Oggy becoming more and more angrier every time. Soon enough, the cockroaches were fattening themselves up with the food from Oggy's house, and they were so fat, that they struggled to walk outside. They soon rolled outside, and they found Oggy, who became so angry, that he looked like he just went to the local county police department to discuss a crime that he never did.

Oggy tried to jump on the roaches' fat bodies, but they rolled away from him. They immediately kept running him over, so much so, to where he looked like a pancake. The 3 then eat Oggy, tearing apart his arms and limbs. Hyper-realistic blood splattered all over the screen, and the roaches were shown with realistic teeth, looking straight at the camera. The bomb then drops, and the roaches are heard demonically laughing as they are shown to survive its explosion.

The credits play, with the cockroaches chasing after Oggy. Jack is nowhere to be found, and is replaced with Sonic.VIDEO instead. After the credits, the Xilam mascot is shown frantically crapping all over the floor, spelling the "Xilam" logo with a particularly crappy look to it.

Epilogue

After writing this true story, I found out that this episode caused kids to have bad diarrhea problems that made their pants look like they had beanbags attached to them. I soon found out that this was the reason why bean-bag onesies were made, as it shows that kids are willing to get thicc just by watching a cartoon.

You'd better go do something actually useful, for once.

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