The Common Cold

"Don't you get it, Synthia??" Dr. Sulsbury shouted, "this isn't the common cold we're talking about here! This is the most uncommon cold there ever was, I mean dammit, look at him, he's not just OUT COLD he's FROZEN to death! In the middle of August! And three of our other test subjects are pooping out ice cubes!"

Synthia had always been an ice queen, but he wasn't about to let her 'Let it Go'. She also didn't want to 'Let it Go'.

"Look doctor, think of all the people, literally hundreds of people living in countries like Africa and India and The Desert. Our research is saving lives! Heat stroke is the number one cause of hotness in those regions and you're going to throw this viral strain away? Over one little corpse and some ice poop? Look, Maybe we can just turn up the thermostatic matrix and try again, but we can't just give up now."

The doctor turned to her "Synthia, do you know what they're calling us down at Emmerson labs? Jack Frost and Hoar Frost. There aren't just lives at steak, dammit, these are our reputations we're putting in jeopardy! Look, look, the test subject can't even become a functioning zombie!"

The frozen lifeless corpse of test subject B, rented to them from the local federal prison program 'felons on ice', twitched and moaned, rocked a bit from side to side but was frozen solid, too stiff to move.

"BUT HE'LL KEEP FOR FIVE MONTHS IN THE FREEZER!" Synthia protested.

"Synthia, we can talk about this... what have you got in your hand?! Synthia, is that... is that the strain you're holding? It's supposed to be in quarantine, my god you could freeze us all!"

"No," Synthia muttered, "I think you're the only one here who needs to chill out"

"Synthia, what are you doing??! Synthia, SYNTHIA, NOOOOO!!!"

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Credited to lucktimedragon 

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