The Giant Orc Roommate That Helped Me Pay My Taxes

I've been financially strapped all my life, never really getting the chance to stay in one place for a while. Fucked me up in the head a bit, it did. So when I finally went out into the great unknown on my lonesome I wanted to do it all cheaply. My dead end job paid just well enough that I could sustain myself off of nothing but microwaveable ramen and potato chips and still be able to rent an apartment room and have internet access. Oh, Pornhub, you were the cure for lonely nights.

Anyways, one day I got a new roommate to move in. His name was "Klugg" and he was some kind of orc. It was a bit strange, but I always wanted to meet new people so I decided to invite him in. Immediately he used his giant stone ax to break holes in the wall so he could set up his "treasure cave". Klugg kept carrying huge burlap sacks of treasure, which was usually coins made of silver, gold, and other metals, along with some gems scattered about like marshmallows in a Lucky Charms cereal. I tried to feed him my top ramen, but he said he only hunts wild game, and once a week he would go out into the nearby forest and drag back a deer or hog, to which he would try to spit-roast by using my lighter and some spare wooden chairs lying around. Hey! Those are mine and I paid $200 for them at IKEA!

But it's not as if this was a total bust. One day when I had to file my taxes I was worried I spent too much, but Klugg threw some gold coins at me and I turned them in to the bank. I was able to do my taxes good. Then the IRS guy came a-knocking, which I didn't answer. Klugg answered by brandishing his ax which caused the IRS guy to run away screaming while pissing his pants.

Nowadays I've gotten a better job, and Klugg is saving up all his treasure to buy a dragon. Hopefully it'll fit in the room this time around, huh?

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Credited to JustSomeWeirdBloke 

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