The Gift of Gams

Once upon a time, I went to the store to pick up a couple of bagels. I then went to the clerk, who told me he couldn't let me purchase my bagels because I haven't shoved them up my ass today yet.

That's when I knew there was some spooky stuff going on... probably with skeletons.

I said, "I don't usually have to do that".

"You have to from now on", said the clerk in his hyper-realistic voice that was so weird because I didn't purchase the hearing aides to be able to hear sound with that well of quality.

By the way I'm 21 years old.

Anyways...

"Why?" I says to the man.

"Because you're big, scary and Pink", he says to the me.

And I'm all like "heph heph heph" cause I'm having this huge stroke for some reason.

Turns out to not be a stroke but possession by Evil Demon Spirit Mecha Pirate Robot Ghost Kings(™). I usually couldn't tell you what happened when I was possessed, but someone told me in great detail after my possession subsided because

So apparently when I was possessed, I immediately went to the candy aisle and shoved it all into my bag that could carry any amount of things and then I took off in my scooter that I pulled out of the bag and rode around the store screaming "TRUE SUFFERING IS NOT KNOWN" I don't know why though. pfft porbably somethin dumb

Tehn I left the palace and I realized my gams were really strong gams. I started calling my legs gams because I had been sent back in time to 1943. Annoying men my age were like "Hey lady, those gams wanna get in mah jams" and I was like bam... cause I hit them in the face.

And then I realized my gams were gifts and used them to perform in concert shows. Little did I know that my energy was being sucked out and I was going to become coma soon.

Later, the Evil Demon Spirit Mecha Pirate Robot Ghost Kings(™) came to me and bit me. I realized that they were there all along, sucking the energy out of every part of my body except the gams.

The top half of my body went bye-bye and my gams are still alive to this day, performing shows. I have only learned to communicate on computer machine through these gams.

The Gift of Gams

Conklevision