The Grinch Movie: Original Reel: Difference between revisions
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Face it, Christmas is ruined.
Now I know
I had won an all-expenses-paid trip to Universal Pictures in the summer of 1998 to screen a random movie and hang out with the crew. I
So upon finding that I won a trip to Universal Pictures, I immediately packed my bags including one full of Snickers bars, and hauled ass. I was greeted at the entrance to the studio a la Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, you know the whole act, the president of the company walking out, falling over, doing a somersault, and standing up, all in style. I
The Grinch movie was finished filming, and I was about to see a rough edit. What you
There was no narration in this version of the movie. Maybe because it was a rough cut, but I digress. The first 5 minutes were really creepy. It starts with Jim Carrey walking into a dark room wearing nothing but his underwear, and the green makeup he wore in The Mask. He says nothing. He just poorly dances to Michael
All of a sudden, an abrupt flicker of color flashed on the screen, and a swooping aerial shot of the town of Whoville was shown, but instead of buildings, it was assorted Hershey, Mars, and Snickers bars propped up vertically as the camera slid through them. I assumed this was supposed to be a stand-in for the CGI sequences in the final film. After a few rows of candy bars go past, you see some traffic, which are just Hot Wheels cars being pushed by, including one that looked oddly like my car, being a brand-new Honda Civic.
Then it cuts to the Whoville set, with extras walking about and surrounding a department store which was about to open. A sign says
Then, two store employees approached the double-door store entry from the inside, looking oddly Jim Carrey-shaped. It was also dimly-lit inside the store. Each grabbed onto one of the doors, and sneered out into the crowd. They hesitate for a moment, then finally pull back the doors, opening the store. The crowd went apeshit crazy trying to get in. People then suddenly started getting into a fistfight. Bob Saget got in the middle of the fight, getting knocked clean out, and falling to the ground unconscious. Whos started trampling Bob
This is where it gets really freaky. Instead of cutting away or a comedic trampling with cartoony boink noises, Saget awoke, and screamed violently until all that could be heard was a breathy rasp emitting from his mouth. His head was violently trampled for a good 30 seconds until his head was a viscous, spasming pile of
The camera cuts to the cave Grinch lives in, which is a lot smaller and more decrepit and
Grinch walked out of frame and came back with a TV/VCR combo on caster wheels. He held up a VHS tape that said
This was all too much and I wanted to get out of that screening room, but I was scared of what Mr. Howard would do if I tried. The Grinch stirred up his Who blood and bone coffee and gave it another sip.
The Grinch left the grocery store with his candy, cackling to himself for shoplifting. All of a sudden, he spotted Cindy Lou Who smiling at the massive fight back at the department store. He approached the girl, giving her a large serrated knife.
The Snickers bar flew through the sky for a good 3 minutes, all the while
People started exiting their homes, joining the gang. These
As they continued to go down the street, more and more Jim Carrey characters joined the group, including the workers from the department store and the man that the Grinch had tied up earlier. He joined the group as his forearm was dangling by just a thread of skin from the rest of his arm. He shouted,
The movie started coming to a close here. The last 5 minutes was just Jim Carrey standing alone in Whoville, peeling his skin off with a fork until he was a skeleton. He danced around for the last 30 seconds as the shot slowly fades to black. Then we got a split-second picture of Carrey with no eyes. I sat dumbfounded at what I had just witnessed. "What the fuck was that," I asked angrily. Howard smiled. "The documentary behind Jim Carrey," he responded. The homeless person that shat himself earlier started to convulse. His skin peeled off to reveal that he was Jim Carrey underneath. I screamed as Jim Carrey screamed back. He screamed so loud that my left ear was deaf for the next 2 hours. He stood up. He looked very off, very un-Jim Carrey-like. He stood 8 feet tall and had a blood-red aura around him. He pointed down at me with a long, gangly arm. "Never tell anyone about this affair, or you will cease to exist." He left the room and another Jim Carrey, nay, a more normal looking Jim Carrey entered. "Hey guys!" he said, smiling away. "Did you enjoy the movie?" I stood with my mouth wide open. "Great!" Carrey said. "Take in mind we might need to do some reshoots later on, but this is the meat of it!," Carrey smiled as he started eating a Snickers bar. I fainted soon afterwards and somehow woke up back at home in my bed. I thought it was a dream until I found a folded up piece of paper on my desk. It was a stock photo of Jim Carrey putting his finger to his lips in a cultish hand signal. Not to mention all of my Snickers bars were gone.
You see, this is the real story behind Jim Carrey. He isn't a single entity. He is multiple. He can clone himself as many times as he pleases. Once he has enough clones,
Beware when you watch any movie starring Jim Carrey. They say that in during any of them, during a dark scene, you can pause the movie and spot in the far distance a wrinkled, deformed Jim Carrey, withered like a Snickers wrapper, pointing at the camera, smiling, and grabbing his nutsack.
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