The Grinch Movie: Original Reel: Difference between revisions

Then, two store employees approached the double-door store entry from the inside, looking oddly Jim Carrey-shaped. It was also dimly-lit inside the store. Each grabbed onto one of the doors, and sneered out into the crowd. They hesitate for a moment, then finally pull back the doors, opening the store. The crowd went apeshit crazy trying to get in. People then suddenly started getting into a fistfight. Bob Saget got in the middle of the fight, getting knocked clean out, and falling to the ground unconscious. Whos started trampling Bob Saget’s head as they rush inside.

 

 

 

 

This was all too much and I wanted to get out of that screening room, but I was scared of what Mr. Howard would do if I tried. The Grinch stirred up his Who blood and bone coffee and gave it another sip. “Just right!” He walked past the injured Who, which was shrieking in pain from his fucking bone being ripped out. The Grinch smiled a cheeky smile, gave him the middle finger, grabbed at his ballsack and jingled it a little bit before exiting the room, smiling away. He left his cave and entered Whoville, smiling some more. He entered the carnage ensuing at the department store, He smiled and he smiled, as he walked around the various aisles, even trying on clothes that matched his style. He surveyed the chaos, the dreadful brawl, then looked at the camera and said “Lol!” He saw all there was to see but wanted more, so he strolled on over to the grocery store. He scanned the fridge aisle, hungry for Eggo waffles, seeing more people fighting and he shouted “Rofl!” He decided afterall he was hungry for a Snicker, as the drunk Whos fought over the last bottle of liquor. He swiped the candy without paying, an awful crime, and I just realized the past few sentences I’ve been speaking in rhyme. Dammit.

The Snickers bar flew through the sky for a good 3 minutes, all the while I’m leaned back in my chair, clenching the arms tightly in fear at this chocolate and nougat monstrosity. Ron Howard was officially an asshole and a sick man in my eyes, having made this horrific sight and traumatizing me in the process. I told him how sick he was. He laughed and sank his teeth into a Snickers. I turned my attention back to the screen. The candy bar had no face, but I knew it was Jim Carrey under that confectionary mask. I knew it. All of a sudden, as if things couldn’t get worse, The cow from the Grinch’s home trotted up, and its brains fell out. The brains hopped around like the Pixar ball. In fact, this was a joint production with Pixar. The brains and the candy bar followed the Grinch and Cindy Lou Who, who smiled at the camera and spoke, “I’M JIM CARREY,” as they strolled down the bloody, snowy Whoville streets.

 

 

As they continued to go down the street, more and more Jim Carrey characters joined the group, including the workers from the department store and the man that the Grinch had tied up earlier. He joined the group as his forearm was dangling by just a thread of skin from the rest of his arm. He shouted, “I’M JIM CARREY.” Even the cow brains shouted “I’M JIM CARREY!” They stopped at the end of the street as they faced a man dressed in a long black hooded cloak facing away from the group. The figure turned around to be, who other than Jim fucking Carrey. He smiled sinisterly as he looked onto the crowd of his characters. "WHO ARE WE," Carrey shouted. The crowd responded with a resounding "JIM CARREY!" Carrey smirked and thunder sounded. Then, it started raining blood. It rained so much realistic blood that it flooded the entire Whoville set. Soon, all of the characters were swept away in the ocean of blood. They were washed all the way out of Whoville, and across the world, to the United States. As it turns out, Whoville is a small island on Earth that we have never discovered before. This is fact. Soon, the characters were all washed up to California, and to Hollywood, where they started getting jobs in movies as the star, all throughout the late 80s and into the 90s.

 

Beware when you watch any movie starring Jim Carrey. They say that in during any of them, during a dark scene, you can pause the movie and spot in the far distance a wrinkled, deformed Jim Carrey, withered like a Snickers wrapper, pointing at the camera, smiling, and grabbing his nutsack.

 

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