The Hills Have Eyes (King of the Hill Lost Episode)
I've always been a fan of that one show King of the Hill. I watched it a lot. I watched every episode. My favorite episode is the one with the old lady trying to die in their house because it was also the creepiest episode 'cause the old lady tried to die in their house and she sneaked in and hid and tried to die.
Well what if I told you there's an episode of King of the Hill that's even creepier than that? It was an episode called "The Hills Have Eyes" that Mike Judge made to be in the second season but he decided to abort it at the last minute.
I used to be an intern at Mike Judge's Flying Circus Studios where they would usually have us interns watch an episode before it was released. This particular episode we ended up seeing because Mike Judge didn't jump shit until the VERY LAST MINUTE, like right before the episode aired he decided to cancel it. People who were tuned to the channel it was meant to be showed on just saw it up until when Hank opened his beer and it cut off.
The episode began as it usually does: the theme song. After that Hank was mowing the lawn with hyper-realistic eyes when Peggy (also with hyper-realistic eyes) walked out and said, "Hank we were all out of human blood so I mixed your cum with some of Bobby's blood. If you want we can call it 'cumblooderade'."
Hank drank the strange drink and vomited all over his fresh lawn. Bobby ran out to play around in it (also with hyper-realistic eyes) but slipped and broke his neck.
"Dammit Peggy!" Hank shouted. He grabbed Peggy and walked into the house. Bobby was still alive but they didn't even care to help him out, so he spent the rest of his life lying there with a broken neck in a puddle of vomit.
Hank was inside the house screaming at Peggy in some language that I didn't understand. Evidently he was yelling at her for a long time because the setting switched to nighttime after a few seconds.
Then things went silent and I heard some banging. The next morning Hank was dragging a heavy trash bag out of the house and threw it away. There was a trail of blood coming off the bag so I assumed Peggy was in it.
Luanne walked out, telling Hank, "But uncle Hank, killin people is wrong. It says so in the bible."
"Luanne, the only god I believe in is Buck Strickland." Hank smacked Luanne in the face and walked inside and locked the door so she couldn't get in.
Hours later the police showed up at the house shouting, "Hank Hill you're under arrest! Come out with your hands up!"
Hank walked out with his propane flamethrower and started flaming the cops. "Haha! Well would'ja lookit that: I'm makin me some bacon!" After killing all the cops he ate their corpses.
Then a police helicopter came and shot Hank. It didn't kill him rather than just pissing him off so he jumped onto the helicopter and pulled the blades of it and threw them down the street cutting cars in half. Then he ate the pilots and grew larger and became a massive behemoth. He kept growing larger eating things until he was bigger than the state of Texas and the holy Buck Strickland descended from the heavens to take Hank to the great Strickland Propane in the sky for his good deeds.
After that with no one else to live in Hank's house they sold it to a guy. When he arrived at his new house he saw Bobby still lying there in the vomit with his broken neck. "Hey who're you?" he asked.
"My name's Bobby Hill. I'm Hank Hill's son. He used to live here you know." And Bobby proceeded to torture the guy with his annoying jokes and stories for the rest of his life.
The episode ended there and the other interns and I shouted, "What the fuck?" together. When word of it got to Mike Judge five seconds before the episode aired he said, "Oh hell no. We can't let this happen: it's too goddamn stupid."
Written by ThatCelticFurry
Content is available under CC BY-SA
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