The Jetson's Mountain Dew Special
Mountain Dew is my favorite thing in the world. Well, almost. I also love the classic Jetsons cartoon, starring George O'Hanlon as the character George Jetson. However you think of it, it was a nostalgic cartoon that taught me that if your life sucked, resort to watching TV. But... there was a lost episode that isn't very well acknowledged, and that's why I wrote this. Not the episode, to tell you about the episode. I found the tape under an abandoned truck deep into the more "woodsy" area of our outer backyard. There was a peice of tape on the tape, get it, and it read "Mtn Dew ad collection". Now, I love to watch old ads for various products, and indeed the tape did have Mountain Dew ads, rather old ones at that, from 1977 to 1996! However, the last ad is the reason I wrote this story. The last featured George Jetson in a white void, holding a can of 'Dew. "Where the hell am I? What the fuck am I holding?" he shouted in confusion. He opened the can and took a swig. "Not bad, but it could be better, couldn't it?" Then, he... ugh... jizzed in the can of Mountain Dew. He took another swig. "Ah, sweet citrus-semen flavor!" he said in sheer delight. All of a sudden, George's head started becoming warped and twisted and contorted into a chicken's head! "Vincent, I'm after YOUUUU!!!!!!" he yelled while clawing at the camera, angrily. HOW DID HE KNOW MY NAME? It was like I had triggered an event to make him occur in this manner, like in Yume Nikki if you check a certain box in a barren world you are greeted with a flashing image of an Aztec styled monkey. Did he corncern Mountain Dew as his treasure and if anyone tampered with it with him knowing he would strike revenge against them? Man, I was so shocked I wet myself! Maybe George was an entity that resided in the tape and teleported around for people to watch the tape and then witness information he could use to, possibly, escape his tape prison and claim every single Mountain Dew in the world and capture the Pepsi Co. so he could force them to produce the soft drink for himself, and only himself. "THE PEPSI COMPANY IS MINE!!! MINE, I TELL YOU!!! YOU'LL NEVER GET ANY EVER AGAIN, MORON! I WILL KILL YOU, YOU PILLSBURY DEWBOY!" screamed George as he started banging on the TV screen and eventually, thanks to his knowledge of my love of 'Dew, his anger took over and crashed through! "AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" I picked up my trusty Desert Eagle because I don't trust anybody and shot Mr. Jetson. His head withered away and worms crawled out. In place of his head was a HUGE eyeball formed, yet he still shouted, "SEC SELSIOUS TYRANNOULOS!" He picked up my Draco Centauros doll and chucked it at me. It was inefficient ammunition at best, and I quickly put it on the shelf near my door and shot. "BAH!" yelled George. "GUIONSES TECTRONICS TERRONEOUS!" He chucked another plush at me, this time my Schezo Wegey one. I did the same with it as I had did with my Draco one. I finally hit George's big eye, and he disappeared! How, I don't know, but I was relived he died. Now, I'm probably NOT going to ever drink Mtn. Dew again, but I'm pretty sure I'll be watching more Jetson's... not!
Written by Pac-Blox
Content is available under CC BY-SA
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