The Scary Paintings

My friend Carlos says he's a great artist, but there's only one problem: his paintings are so scary, no one can look at them.

Like, this one time he called up an art gallery, and the art gallery guy tried to look at them but couldn't and then closed the art gallery. The next day, it burned down. Carlos called him back and after a long time, the art guy admitted to burning down the gallery and moving to Alaska and getting a job in a salmon hatchery instead of having anything more to do with the scary, scary paintings.

That's just an example. Most people don't handle it that well, and just go insane when they see them, or die, or go insane and die, and this one lady died and then went insane, which was weird but it's the best way I could describe it.

Carlos was really bummed out after the art gallery fiasco, and he kind of disappeared for a while. Then later I ran into him at the butcher shop buying two big buckets of blood. These were to paint with. Did I mention that sometimes he paints in blood? Because he does that.

Anyway Carlos is like, "Hey, you should check out my NEW paintings, they're REALLY good, and very scary."

I tell him that I don't know about that, because most people don't do so well after looking at those things, and I don't like what happens to them. But Carlos reassures me that I'll be fine so I say okay.

Carlos paints all his paintings in this stone cellar of this giant house he apparently lives in. Anyway I go down the stairs and yeah, there's a bunch of his paintings. They're very terrifying but otherwise I don't have any bad reaction to them.

And then I'm like, "Hey, how come YOU can paint these things? I mean you're looking at them the whole time."