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[[File:Seymour.png|thumb|The author.]]
[[File:Seymour.png|thumb|The author.]]I used to love Harry Potter. That was, until I realised the homoerotic subtext that it implies. You see, I am but a humble homophobe, an ordinary, gay-hating citizen of the United States. But that all changed the day I realised the truth about Harry Potter. After an in-depth scrutiny of the texts of that foul book, I realised that it was nothing more than a tool used by homosexuals to recruit unknowing children to their life of depravity and evilness. You are currently reading the only documented case of this evil agenda. There may be more, but they have remained hidden, and have yet to come out. I will remain anonymous as I write this, but more must know. The word must be spread. Read on, and enlighten yourself with the truth.▼
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I was thrilled when I received the news. Utterly joyful at such a fantastic revelation. I was to visit the author of one of my most beloved book series, the best-selling Harry Potter novels. J.K. Rowling was one of my heroes within literature, and I utterly adored her and her works. I recall that I could barely sit down, jumping around the room, screaming at the top of my lungs. Most 13 year-olds are quite excitable, but sadly the terrible events that occurred on that day impaired by ability to feel much happiness, much excitement. I regret the joy at opening the letter, and the thrill I felt as I read aloud the invitation to see J.K. Rowling herself. There was no way I could have known, though. Not until it was too late.
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''What is the plan, I hear you cry? The truth is that the concealed events of the book will warp the minds of youth, of children, so that they themselves become homosexuals. It is only a matter of time. Following the release of my eighth and final novel, the whole world shall turn homosexual, and my sinister plan will be completed. It has already taken affect, and even though minor setbacks such as the release of 'Fifty Shades of Grey' have promoted heterosexuality, it won't be long before all shall succumb to the lustful appeal of homosexuality. All who read my books will slowly turn gay. It is only a matter of time.''
It is done. The events are documented. I flipped through the pages of the book, looking for the true ending, for the small block of text that revealed that this entire journal was merely a cruel joke, a barbaric stunt pulled off for laughs. But, alas, it was not to be. The words I write down are true, whether you believe them or not, and for the sake of your heterosexuality I hope the world heeds my warning. Hide from these novels. Burn them. Destroy them anyway you can. While your heterosexuality remains intact you will be safe, but as soon as you catch the gay you are doomed. There is nought that can be done. Human kind may be approaching the day of reckoning, but you may be able to save yourself and your loved ones. Please, listen to me. Remember this omen, and save your heterosexuality.
[[Category:Unfunny]]
[[Category:Deletion Log Refugees]]
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