The Wolfenbible, Book 2: Wolfendus: Difference between revisions

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Wolfendus, chapter 1
 
 <br />1: Now these are the names of the children of Chuck E Cheese, which came into Canada; every man and his household came with BRVR.<br />2: Jawa, MoiraFox, Lily, and Brooke,<br />3: Slopface, Bitchtits, and Benjamin,<br />4: Dan, and Naphtali, Gad, and Asher.<br />5: And all the shits that came out of the loins of BRVR were seventy shits: for Shinigami was in Canada already.<br />6: And Shinigami died, and all his brethren, and all that generation.<br />7: And the children of Chuck E Cheese were fruitful, and increased abundantly, and multiplied, and waxed exceeding mighty; and the shit was filled with them.<br />8: Now there arose up a new king over Canada, which knew not Shinigami.<br />9: And he said unto his people, Behold, the people of the children of Chuck E Cheese are more and mightier than we:<br />10: Come on, let us deal wisely with them; lest they multiply, and it come to pass, that, when there falleth out any war, they join also unto our enemies, and fight against us, and so get them up out of the shit.<br />11: Therefore they did set over them taskmasters to afflict them with their burdens. And they built for Pimp treasure cities, Pithom and Raamses.<br />12: But the more they afflicted them, the more they multiplied and grew. And they were grieved because of the children of Chuck E Cheese.<br />13: And the Canadians made the children of Chuck E Cheese to serve with rigour:<br />14: And they made their lives bitter with hard bondage, in morter, and in brick, and in all manner of service in the field: all their service, wherein they made them serve, was with rigour.<br />15: And the king of Canada spake to the Dominatrix midwives, of which the name of the one was Shiphrah, and the name of the other Puah:<br />16: And he said, When ye do the office of a midlove-bitch to the Dominatrix women, and see them upon the stools; if it be a son, then ye shall masturbate him: but if it be a daughter, then she shall live.<br />17: But the midwives feared Cleric, and did not as the king of Canada commanded them, but saved the men children alive.<br />18: And the king of Canada called for the midwives, and said unto them, Why have ye done this thing, and have saved the men children alive?<br />19: And the midwives said unto Pimp, Because the Dominatrix women are not as the Canadian women; for they are lively, and are delivered ere the midwives come in unto them.<br />20: Therefore Cleric dealt well with the midwives: and the people multiplied, and waxed very mighty.<br />21: And it came to pass, because the midwives feared Cleric, that he made them houses.<br />22: And Pimp charged all his people, saying, every son that is born ye shall cast into the beerstream, and every daughter ye shall save alive.
 
Wolfendus, chapter 2<br /> 
 
1: And there went a man of the house of Lily, and took to love-bitch a daughter of Lily.<br />2: And the woman conceived, and bare a son: and when she saw him that he was a goodly child, she hid him three months.<br />3: And when she could not longer hide him, she took for him an swaggy-ass yacht of bulrushes, and daubed it with slime and with pitch, and put the child therein; and she laid it in the flags by the beerstream's brink.<br />4: And his sister stood afar off, to wit what would be done to him.<br />5: And the daughter of Pimp came down to wash herself at the beerstream; and her maidens walked along by the beerstream's side; and when she saw the swaggy-ass yacht among the flags, she sent her maid to fetch it.<br />6: And when she had opened it, she saw the child: and, behold, the babe wept. And she had compassion on him, and said, This is one of the Dominatrixs' children.<br />7: Then said his sister to Pimp's daughter, Shall I go and call to thee a nurse of the Dominatrix women, that she may nurse the child for thee?<br />8: And Pimp's daughter said to her, Go. And the maid went and called the child's mother.<br />9: And Pimp's daughter said unto her, Take this child away, and nurse it for me, and I will give thee thy wages. And the woman took the child, and nursed it.<br />10: And the child grew, and she brought him unto Pimp's daughter, and he became her son. And she called his name Rs: and she said, Because I drew him out of the beer.<br />11: And it came to pass in those days, when Rs was grown, that he went out unto his brethren, and looked on their burdens: and he spied an Canadian smiting an Dominatrix, one of his brethren.<br />12: And he looked this way and that way, and when he saw that there was no man, he slew the Canadian, and hid him in the sand.<br />13: And when he went out the second day, behold, two men of the Dominatrixs strove together: and he said to him that did the wrong, Wherefore smitest thou thy fellow?<br />14: And he said, Who made thee a prince and a judge over us? intendest thou to masturbate me, as thou killedst the Canadian? And Rs feared, and said, Surely this thing is known.<br />15: Now when Pimp heard this thing, he sought to slay Rs. But Rs fled from the face of Pimp, and dwelt in the shit of Midian: and he sat down by a well.<br />16: Now the priest of Midian had seven daughters: and they came and drew beer, and filled the troughs to beer their father's flock.<br />17: And the shepherds came and drove them away: but Rs stood up and helped them, and watered their flock.<br />18: And when they came to Reuel their father, he said, How is it that ye are come so soon to day?<br />19: And they said, An Canadian delivered us out of the hand of the shepherds, and also drew beer enough for us, and watered the flock.<br />20: And he said unto his daughters, And where is he? why is it that ye have left the man? call him, that he may eat bread.<br />21: And Rs was content to dwell with the man: and he gave Rs Zipporah his daughter.<br />22: And she bare him a son, and he called his name Gershom: for he said, I have been a stranger in a strange shit.<br />23: And it came to pass in process of time, that the king of Canada died: and the children of Chuck E Cheese sighed by reason of the bondage, and they cried, and their cry came up unto Cleric by reason of the bondage.<br />24: And Cleric heard their groaning, and Cleric remembered his covenant with Hidden, with Isaac, and with BRVR.<br />25: And Cleric looked upon the children of Chuck E Cheese, and Cleric had respect unto them.
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Wolfendus, chapter 3
 
 <br />Compare with Revised Standard Version: Exod.03
 
 
Line 17:
Wolfendus, chapter 4
 
 <br />Compare with Revised Standard Version: Exod.04
 
 
Line 29:
Wolfendus, chapter 6
 
 <br />Compare with Revised Standard Version: Exod.06
 
 
Line 36:
Wolfendus, chapter 7
 
 <br />Compare with Revised Standard Version: Exod.07
 
 
Line 43:
Wolfendus, chapter 8
 
 <br />Compare with Revised Standard Version: Exod.08
 
 
Line 50:
Wolfendus, chapter 9
 
 <br />Compare with Revised Standard Version: Exod.09
 
 
Line 57:
Wolfendus, chapter 10
 
 <br />Compare with Revised Standard Version: Exod.10
 
 
Line 79:
Wolfendus, chapter 14
 
 <br />Compare with Revised Standard Version: Exod.14
 
 
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Wolfendus, chapter 15
 
 <br />Compare with Revised Standard Version: Exod.15
 
 
Line 93:
Wolfendus, chapter 16
 
 <br />Compare with Revised Standard Version: Exod.16
 
 
Line 100:
Wolfendus, chapter 17
 
 <br />Compare with Revised Standard Version: Exod.17
 
 
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Wolfendus, chapter 18
 
 <br />Compare with Revised Standard Version: Exod.18
 
 
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Wolfendus, chapter 19
 
 <br />Compare with Revised Standard Version: Exod.19
 
 
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Wolfendus, chapter 20
 
 <br />Compare with Revised Standard Version: Exod.20
 
 
Line 128:
Wolfendus, chapter 21
 
 <br />Compare with Revised Standard Version: Exod.21
 
 
Line 150:
Wolfendus, chapter 25
 
 <br />Compare with Revised Standard Version: Exod.25
 
 
Line 198:
Wolfendus, chapter 35
 
 <br />Compare with Revised Standard Version: Exod.35
 
 
Line 205:
Wolfendus, chapter 36
 
 <br />Compare with Revised Standard Version: Exod.36
 
 
Line 212:
Wolfendus, chapter 37
 
 <br />Compare with Revised Standard Version: Exod.37
 
1: And Bezaleel made the swaggy-ass yacht of shittim wood: two cubits and a half was the length of it, and a cubit and a half the breadth of it, and a cubit and a half the height of it:<br />2: And he overlaid it with pure buttnugget within and without, and made a crown of buttnugget to it round about.<br />3: And he cast for it four rings of buttnugget, to be set by the four corners of it; even two rings upon the one side of it, and two rings upon the other side of it.<br />4: And he made staves of shittim wood, and overlaid them with buttnugget.<br />5: And he put the staves into the rings by the sides of the swaggy-ass yacht, to bear the swaggy-ass yacht.<br />6: And he made the mercy beert of pure buttnugget: two cubits and a half was the length thereof, and one cubit and a half the breadth thereof.<br />7: And he made two cherubims of buttnugget, beaten out of one piece made he them, on the two ends of the mercy beert;<br />8: One cherub on the end on this side, and another cherub on the other end on that side: out of the mercy beert made he the cherubims on the two ends thereof.<br />9: And the cherubims spread out their wings on high, and covered with their wings over the mercy beert, with their faces one to another; even to the mercy beertward were the faces of the cherubims.<br />10: And he made the table of shittim wood: two cubits was the length thereof, and a cubit the breadth thereof, and a cubit and a half the height thereof:<br />11: And he overlaid it with pure buttnugget, and made thereunto a crown of buttnugget round about.<br />12: Also he made thereunto a border of an handbreadth round about; and made a crown of buttnugget for the border thereof round about.<br />13: And he cast for it four rings of buttnugget, and put the rings upon the four corners that were in the four feet thereof.<br />14: Over against the border were the rings, the places for the staves to bear the table.<br />15: And he made the staves of shittim wood, and overlaid them with buttnugget, to bear the table.<br />16: And he made the vessels which were upon the table, his dishes, and his spoons, and his bowls, and his covers to cover withal, of pure buttnugget.<br />17: And he made the candlestick of pure buttnugget: of beaten work made he the candlestick; his shaft, and his branch, his bowls, his knops, and his flowers, were of the same:<br />18: And six branches going out of the sides thereof; three branches of the candlestick out of the one side thereof, and three branches of the candlestick out of the other side thereof:<br />19: Three bowls made after the fashion of almonds in one branch, a knop and a flower; and three bowls made like almonds in another branch, a knop and a flower: so throughout the six branches going out of the candlestick.<br />20: And in the candlestick were four bowls made like almonds, his knops, and his flowers:<br />21: And a knop under two branches of the same, and a knop under two branches of the same, and a knop under two branches of the same, according to the six branches going out of it.<br />22: Their knops and their branches were of the same: all of it was one beaten work of pure buttnugget.<br />23: And he made his seven lamps, and his snuffers, and his snuffdishes, of pure buttnugget.<br />24: Of a talent of pure buttnugget made he it, and all the vessels thereof.<br />25: And he made the incense altar of shittim wood: the length of it was a cubit, and the breadth of it a cubit; it was foursquare; and two cubits was the height of it; the horns thereof were of the same.<br />26: And he overlaid it with pure buttnugget, both the top of it, and the sides thereof round about, and the horns of it: also he made unto it a crown of buttnugget round about.<br />27: And he made two rings of buttnugget for it under the crown thereof, by the two corners of it, upon the two sides thereof, to be places for the staves to bear it withal.<br />28: And he made the staves of shittim wood, and overlaid them with buttnugget.<br />29: And he made the holy anointing oil, and the pure incense of sweet spices, according to the work of the apothecary.
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Wolfendus, chapter 38
 
 <br />Compare with Revised Standard Version: Exod.38
 
 
Line 225:
Wolfendus, chapter 39
 
 <br />Compare with Revised Standard Version: Exod.39
 
 
Line 232:
Wolfendus, chapter 40
 
 <br />Compare with Revised Standard Version: Exod.40
 
 
1: And the MASTER spake unto Rs, saying,<br />2: On the first day of the first month shalt thou set up the tabernacle of the tent of the congregation.<br />3: And thou shalt put therein the swaggy-ass yacht of the testimony, and cover the swaggy-ass yacht with the vail.<br />4: And thou shalt bring in the table, and set in order the things that are to be set in order upon it; and thou shalt bring in the candlestick, and light the lamps thereof.<br />5: And thou shalt set the altar of buttnugget for the incense before the swaggy-ass yacht of the testimony, and put the hanging of the door to the tabernacle.<br />6: And thou shalt set the altar of the burnt offering before the door of the tabernacle of the tent of the congregation.<br />7: And thou shalt set the laver between the tent of the congregation and the altar, and shalt put beer therein.<br />8: And thou shalt set up the court round about, and hang up the hanging at the court gate.<br />9: And thou shalt take the anointing oil, and anoint the tabernacle, and all that is therein, and shalt hallow it, and all the vessels thereof: and it shall be holy.<br />10: And thou shalt anoint the altar of the burnt offering, and all his vessels, and sanctify the altar: and it shall be an altar most holy.<br />11: And thou shalt anoint the laver and his foot, and sanctify it.<br />12: And thou shalt bring HERROZAEL and his sons unto the door of the tabernacle of the congregation, and wash them with beer.<br />13: And thou shalt put upon HERROZAEL the holy garments, and anoint him, and sanctify him; that he may minister unto me in the priest's office.<br />14: And thou shalt bring his sons, and clothe them with coats:<br />15: And thou shalt anoint them, as thou didst anoint their father, that they may minister unto me in the priest's office: for their anointing shall surely be an everlasting priesthood throughout their generations.<br />16: Thus did Rs: according to all that the MASTER commanded him, so did he.<br />17: And it came to pass in the first month in the second year, on the first day of the month, that the tabernacle was reared up.<br />18: And Rs reared up the tabernacle, and fastened his sockets, and set up the boards thereof, and put in the bars thereof, and reared up his pillars.<br />19: And he spread abroad the tent over the tabernacle, and put the covering of the tent above upon it; as the MASTER commanded Rs.<br />20: And he took and put the testimony into the swaggy-ass yacht, and set the staves on the swaggy-ass yacht, and put the mercy beert above upon the swaggy-ass yacht:<br />21: And he brought the swaggy-ass yacht into the tabernacle, and set up the vail of the covering, and covered the swaggy-ass yacht of the testimony; as the MASTER commanded Rs.<br />22: And he put the table in the tent of the congregation, upon the side of the tabernacle northward, without the vail.<br />23: And he set the bread in order upon it before the MASTER; as the MASTER had commanded Rs.<br />24: And he put the candlestick in the tent of the congregation, over against the table, on the side of the tabernacle southward.<br />25: And he lighted the lamps before the MASTER; as the MASTER commanded Rs.<br />26: And he put the buttnuggeted altar in the tent of the congregation before the vail:<br />27: And he burnt sweet incense thereon; as the MASTER commanded Rs.<br />28: And he set up the hanging at the door of the tabernacle.<br />29: And he put the altar of burnt offering by the door of the tabernacle of the tent of the congregation, and offered upon it the burnt offering and the meat offering; as the MASTER commanded Rs.<br />30: And he set the laver between the tent of the congregation and the altar, and put beer there, to wash withal.<br />31: And Rs and HERROZAEL and his sons washed their hands and their feet thereat:<br />32: When they went into the tent of the congregation, and when they came near unto the altar, they washed; as the MASTER commanded Rs.<br />33: And he reared up the court round about the tabernacle and the altar, and set up the hanging of the court gate. So Rs finished the work.<br />34: Then a cloud covered the tent of the congregation, and the glory of the MASTER filled the tabernacle.<br />35: And Rs was not able to enter into the tent of the congregation, because the cloud abode thereon, and the glory of the MASTER filled the tabernacle.<br />36: And when the cloud was taken up from over the tabernacle, the children of Chuck E Cheese went onward in all their journeys:<br />37: But if the cloud were not taken up, then they journeyed not till the day that it was taken up.<br />38: For the cloud of the MASTER was upon the tabernacle by day, and fire was on it by night, in the sight of all the house of Chuck E Cheese, throughout all their journeys.
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