The most cliched pasta ever: Difference between revisions

This pasta has become much more realistic.
imported>Phantom Dusclops'92
(What's up with all those madeup categories? removed them and replaced with authentic ones.)
imported>Clysmatic
(This pasta has become much more realistic.)
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Hello, you may not know me. My name is Tom Jim. I am a 22 year old computer engineer who likes to fiddle with computers. Recently I was looking on E-bay and I found this unscratched disc called "Generic.exe" and it was a perfect disc with zero scratches. My parents promised to buy it for me for my birthday but they never did. I always wanted this game but I was never able to find it. This version was different from the original, however... This was the Super Silver Beta Lost version! I noticed something strange, though.... The seller was named "666 evil Jeff Patrixx" so I was kind of worried to buy it. I just passed it off as a glitch, though. I bought my computer from a bald old man at a yard-sale a while back, so... He said it belonged to a dead kid named Joe. But that's beside the point. I asked the guy on E-bay if I could buy it and he said "No, I'm sorry, you cannot buy it from me. Wanna have some fun?" so I said "Sure. It sucks that I can't buy it from you, though." and he sent me a download link to a file called "Notavirusscamfuncreepydon'topenthisyoudumbarse.rar" and I downloaded it. Feeling slightly uneasy, the file installed but I noticed something was weird. My computer background was just a white background and all of my shortcuts were replaced with a folder called "Patrixx Sex Tape Bloody Evil Carly Rae Jepsen 666 Jeff Tails Sonic" so I opened it and just dismissed the name as a glitch.
It had two files in it, one was an installation file called "Sonic.Tails.Mario.Pokemon.Generic.Expansion.exe" and a JPG file called "Sexyhorsebutt.jpg" I reluctantly clicked on the JPG and it opened except the picture was horrifying... I immediately jumped back at the site. It was a picture of a hyper-realistic dead body with hyper-realistic blood and hyper-realistic gore. The body was hanging from the hyper-realistic ceiling by it's hyper-realistic intestines and there was hyper-realistic blood dripping off of it. You could see the person's hyper-realistic brain too! Then, a hyper-realistic creepy voice came through the hyper-realistic speakers that said "You're next" and then the file closed and my computer background changed to a picture of hyper-realistic Patrixx with hyper-realistic blood and everything!
 
I was nervous but I decided to continue on and just dismissed it as a glitch. I knew I should turn my hyper-realistic computer off at this point but I'm a generic idiot who refuses to do the obvious thing he should do in a situation like this so I'm gonna open the file again and play the game even though this is suspicious and a lot of creepy stuff is happening but I don't care at all so I'm gonna keep playing and screw logic. :)
 
I opened the folder again and saw a gallery of photos! It was called "Pingas animal pony poocrap gore hyper-realistic bloody Jeff" and I also saw a file called "Patrixx Sex Tape For Real No Fake." I opened the gallery and saw a horrifying site. There was a picture of my generic family, all skeletons and dead and stuffs! I threw up on my screen and ignoring all logic, I continued on in the gallery and saw a bunch of bloody pictures of dead people, blood, pingases, Dora's, Entrails and all kinds of horrific stuff.
I immediately closed the gallery after looking at it for 10 minutes. I then clicked on the .AVI file and began to jack off. It started off with Patrixx in a bedroom with a grown-up version of Dora. They did some sexy stuff and I began to beat the meat. I looked at the screen and it sudd
 
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