User:BlazingShadow333/My Deleted Pastas Archive
Warning
May contain unfunny or cancerous shit, so don't read these stories unless you only care for funny stuff.
Currently unfinished, subjected to change if a story of mine gets deleted.
My Revenge Against the Duck Hunt Dog (Unfunny)
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NSFW WARNING
This page is not safe for work or school. The content of this story is not suitable for some audiences, and may be inappropriate to view in some situations. |
I used to be one of those people who celebrated Throwback Thursday by playing classical Nintendo games, especially Duck Hunt. I was pretty good at the game except when there were times that I missed and that annoying-ass dog would start snickering at me like a prick.
But one day, I had the last straw.
I missed a shot and the dog starts laughing at me, resulting in a game over. Enraged, I got my Colt pistol and my SPAS-12 shotgun and used magical powers to teleport into the Duck Hunt World.
When I entered the world, I got my gun ready, and the dog was waiting for me.
"Are you here to end me once and for all?" The dog asked.
"Fuck yea, I'll fucking gun you down until there's no solid part of what's left of you.
"LOL, cocksucking dumbass, good luck finding in this huge grass field!" and the dog ran off.
I met two ducks, a green mallard and a purple one. They shuddered in fear, assuming I was going to shoot them.
"Please don't hurt us, we have children!" They cried.
"Not now, I'm finishing this beagle fucker for being a cunt." I explained. 2 hours later, I found the dog jumping around the fields. I pull out my SPAS-12 shotty and aim at the dog.
"EAT BUCKSHOT, MOTHERFUCKER!!!!" I shoot the dog, clean in the stomach.
I walk towards the dog, trembling in fear and bleeding a lot on the dirt. "Please.. I was only joking... Now that I think about it, it's not funny anymore.. Please, don't kill---"
"SHUT YO FATASS MOTHAFUCKING MOUTH, NOW EAT METAL, DICKSUCKER!" I blew the dog's head off, causing blood to splatter everywhere and his brain parts began flying.
"I return home with magic powers feeling satisfied with what I did... I find a bottle of Bacardi and drink it...
So the next time you play Duck Hunt and for some reason the dog doesn't appear, then you can blame that on me, but you should thank me for ending the clown once and for all...
*NEED TO FILL IN MORE CONTENT*
Pokemon Extremely Scary Version (Unfunny)
The Story
Holy shiiiit. This is a really fucking scary story, so be careful.
This is a true story (because everything I say is always true) and I found this used Pokemon Y cartridge in the garbage because of plot contrivance, and the title was called Pokemon Extremely Scary Version. The Yveltal in the title screen had bloody and hyper-realistic eyes. I thought it was a glitch, so I ignored it. I started off in my house as usual, but no Professor Sycamore or no Fletchling to wake me up. My character was all dressed, instead of the chracter wakingup in his jammies. What was even scarier is that his name was Rick, which is my real name. He had 666 money, and the time said I spent 666 seconds on the game. It was probably another glitch, so I ignored it.
I went into the lab (which apparently is in my chracter's home town), and Professor Sycamore was waiting for me, and told me to pick a Pokemon. The Chespin said, "Do u want 2 love me?" but since I don't like choosing Grass-type starters, I chose Froakie, and the Chespin was angry and grabbed an Ak-74, and said "LIGHTS OUT, BITCH! YOU'RE A DEAD MOTHERFUCKER!" I flipped him off with my middle finger and pew-pewed him in the face with an M-16, with realistic blood and body parts flying everywhere. This must've been some really rare bug in the game, so I continued on.
My character was like "NOOOOOO, It took me forever to wash these clothes, and now they're fucking bloodyyyy" My Froakie was named 666youwilldie, and when my rival came to battle, I lost, because of plot contrivance once again, and the next scene, I was at the Lavender Tower (for some reason) and there were two gravestones: the grave of the Froakie and the grave of me. Professor Sycamore had a shotgun and said "You killed a fucking Pokemon... You shouldn't haven't done that... NOW EAT LEAD, YOU LITTLE SHITBAG!" he shoots me and my chracter, killing him and me, but I pasted in the story before I eventually bled to death.