Wiping one's butt is ecological suicide

Every time we use another square of toilet paper, a square mile of rain forest is mowed down with the people still inside. But you just unroll and unroll using up to 5 layers of paper to try and protect your special hand from your own soil? Who died and made you King Tut? Moses? Listen up diamond cheeks, its OK to get a little of what you made on your hand, it won't kill you to hold a smear of your own warm excrement until you clean yourself. Then you can go to the sink and wash it off, Prince Charles the First. "Oh he is crying Cassandra's Box" you might say, but think about it; without the Rain Forests to help convert CO2 to O2 we will end up breathing in our own farts just like the dinosaurs and Jesus did. You want to end up on a fuckin' cross? I didn't think so. Hurricanes, tornadoes, genocide, country music and more are going to keep getting worse and worse and you won't stop throwing layers upon layers of sumptuous perfumed TP into the sewer systems will you? Remember these words when you are floating on a toilet seat in the desert while Kenny Chesney sings about white sand beaches and beer in a Hellscape. Don't say I didn't warn you.

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