The Super Duper Pooper Scooper Creepypasta Season 1 Box Set

Everybody knows Skylanders: Giants, right? It's a game where you buy these overpriced figurines that you put on this portal thingy. Oh, and I guess there's a plot, too. A couple months ago, I was  searching for a new Spyro game when I came across this site called genericshadysitethatnoonesheardof.com that was selling a new Spyro game for Xbox 360. I clicked the link, but the screen was blank. I refreshed it. It was still blank. After I refreshed it for the trillionth time, a picture of Sonic.exe appeared and Can You Feel The Sunshine? was playing in the background. Herobrine then killed Sonic.exe and said to me "!won tsuj petsrood ruoy no decalp yltneinevnoc evah I taht emag eht yojnE" I threw my laptop out the window. Then I went downstairs to urinate on it (I do stuff like that sometimes). When I opened the door, there was a package that had the words POISON, MURDER, and CURSE on it. "I better open it," I said to myself. I grabbed a knife and sliced the packaging. Then, to my surprise, A SKELETON POPPED OUT! Just kidding. In the package, the game was there. "What the fuck!" I shouted. This wasn't the game I ordered. I ordered Spyro 666: Cursed Spyro 13, not Skylanders: Giants! Who the fuck are Tree Rex and Jet Vac? Why was Cynder in this? The developers should know I hate every aspect of the Legend of Spyro series! I threw the game in my basement, where my Rottweiler would feast on it. The very next week, I was cosplaying as Alex Mason outside for no reason, when I got beat up by a bunch of five year olds clad in SKELETON, uh, I mean Skylanders costumes. I swear they were part of a kindergarten cult. Anyway, they tortured me for the day by lecturing me about how Skylanders is awesome and that Call of Duty sucks. I finally broke out just when they were about to stuff Trigger Happys in my pants and Gill Grunts in my shirt. When I got home, the game was on the television, which is weird because I locked it with my dog in the basement with an hour's worth of food. I decided to open it. The next thing I knew, A SKELETON POPPED OUT! Just kidding. I got all of the contents out of the box: the game, the figures, the portal, stickers, and a poster. But there was one item that was not listed: it was a piece of paper that said "Get your laptop". I went outside and got the laptop I threw out of the window a week prior. I opened it, and to my surprise, Skylanders popped out of my computer screen! There were a lot of single packs. There were also two battle packs, one of which included a sword wielding Skylander that was also a SKELETON! The screen said to put the game into my Xbox. I responded "duh, how else would I play it?" My laptop exploded. I put the game in (finally), and instead of the Activision logo coming up, I was greeted by not a SKELETON, but SammyClassicSonicFan's DOOS EX rant. The worst part was that I could not skip it. After a while, I just couldn't take it anymore, so I shouted "Fuck you!" Sammy looked directly at me and said, "You're a dumb frickin' poop merchant you frickin' Adventure fanfrick! LIKE SONIC LIKE SONIC LIKE SONIC LIKE SONIC LIKE SONIC!" Sammy's head was then impaled by a spear. Finally, I got to actually play the game. I had to choose a character to play as, so I obviously chose Spyro. Some floating head NPC named Eon told the story behind these events (like I care). Everything played out like normal. I got to level 13 where this oracle called Octavius Cloptimus (I'll just call him Octoguy) puts you through trials. But instead of normal, fucking easy trials, I had to go through fucked up trials like having to choose between murdering or being murdered. When I finished the level, Octoguy was covered in HYPER REALISTIC BLOOD that no modern system could render. I passed that off as a glitch. Everything played normally until the boss level. Apparently, the boss is some midget named Kaos (who knew?) who gains control of this giant robot fist and turns into a robot. During the boss fight, every time I damaged Kaos, I heard John Lennon's voice saying "You shouldn't have done that." Once I defeated Kaos, I looked closely at the screen, and A SKELETON POPPED OUT! Just kidding. Kaos was bleeding HYPER REALISTIC BLOOD! Then, Spyro was transported into a Hell level. Lavender Town was playing in the background. At the end of the level, Jay-Z murdered Spyro, and John Lennon's face was on the screen. I got so scared that I defecated on all of the other Skylanders. The screen went black. Now, all I could see was John Lennon singing Miley Cyrus' Wrecking Ball over and over again. I eventually fainted and fell into my pile of feces. When I woke up, I realized I had been asleep for a month. The television suddenly turned on. The screen had HYPER REALISTIC BLOOD, but it took me 2 hours to comprehend it. Then, I put my Alex Mason costume on and pretended this didn't happen. I went for a nice walk through the park. I went home, and my laptop was in perfect condition. On the screen was a video of Herobrine dancing to Gangnam Style. After the video was finished, A SKELETON POPPED OUT! For realz this time. I knew I had to kill it. So, I grabbed a ketchup bottle and threw it at the SKELETON. Nothing happened. I then grabbed a perfectly good shotgun that was laying around and shot the SKELETON. I took the SKELETON to a psychic or something. It was John Lennon's SKELETON. Now John Lennon will haunt me forever. Every night, I pray to my deity, Derpy Hooves, to rid my house of his spirit. I'm never playing Skylanders again. Also, my dog is dead.