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9001 Nights at Freddy Fazbear's Paradise of Pingas Pizza, An Autobiographical Memoir (AKA FNAF 5) Director's Cut: The Final Shreckoning: Game of the Year Edition: Hot Sauce included: Difference between revisions
9001 Nights at Freddy Fazbear's Paradise of Pingas Pizza, An Autobiographical Memoir (AKA FNAF 5) Director's Cut: The Final Shreckoning: Game of the Year Edition: Hot Sauce included (view source)
Revision as of 12:55, 9 August 2015
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== The New Job ==
One day I, Timmy McJimmy, was looking for a job. I had only two cents and a box that was twelve inches tall on a street corner in Da Hood. In a newspaper I found on the ground, I saw a Help Wanted ad for a new restaurant. It was called Freddy Fagbear's Pingas Paradise. I yelled "OH SHNAZZ!" and ran all the way to the restaurant. Luckily, the ad featured the address: 69 2Spooky avenue.I was very happy when they immediately let me have a job because I was homeless. They gave me night watch, even though I wanted to thaw frozen pizza under a heat lamp in the kitchen. They told me to be at work at 12 AM, which I kinda hated but, oh well! ▼
[[File:Fazbeer.jpg|thumb|287px|Freddy Fazbear]]
▲One day I, Timmy McJimmy, was looking for a job. I had only two cents and a box that was twelve inches tall on a street corner in Da Hood. In a newspaper I found on the ground, I saw a Help Wanted ad for a new restaurant. It was called Freddy Fagbear's Pingas Paradise. I yelled "OH SHNAZZ!" and ran all the way to the restaurant. Luckily, the ad featured the address: 69 2Spooky avenue.I was very happy when they immediately let me have a job because I was homeless. They gave me night watch, even though I wanted to thaw frozen pizza under a heat lamp in the kitchen. They told me to be at work at 12 AM, which I kinda hated but, oh well!
== Night 1 ==
[[File:DOLAN.jpg|thumb|left|Legit Screeenshot of Dolan]]
I arrived on time and put on my fabulous security uniform. I then heard a ringing noise coming from a phone on the desk. The man on the phone told me that I had to use an IPad to watch over the ten animatronics: Freddy Fazbear, Bonnie, Chica, Foxy, Katty Kat, Patrick the Potato, Sanic teh Hedgehoge, Doge, Dolan the Duck, and Balloon Bitch. I thought it would be easy enough until Freddy moved from the stage to the kitchen. I thought it was a glitch, but then Bonnie walked over to Katty Kat. They then went into the Pirate's Cove, being hidden behind the curtain. I heard a pirate-like voice saying "Shiver Me Timbers!" and a lot of clanging noises. I wanted to investigate but then
== Night 2 ==
[[File:SanicXfoxy.jpg|thumb|220x220px|The legit picture of Foxy and Sanic]]
I went to my job, shivering, and I was 2 minutes late. Before I could worry about being fired for being late, the phone rang. The man said that I did a good job and that the animatronics would be harder tonight. I dunno if he ment that they would be more active, or more horny. I then saw on the screen Sanic running around in circles. He kept on saying "GOTTA GO FAST!" and playing a dubstep remix of the Sonic X theme song on an IPhone 7. Foxy then went up to Sanic and started running in circles with him. I rolled my eyes and changed the cameras, seeing Freddy staring at me. He said "Hai." and then did a funny dance. I then saw Patrick the Potato sneaking back into the woman's bathroom, smeling in a creepy way. I then tried to look in the women's bathroom to see what was going on, but I was interrupted by an ERROR message sayng " Dude, that is just perverted." I got bored, so I played Flappy Bird on the IPad. But, suddenly, Chica looked at me through the window. She screamed "LOVE ME" and tried to get in to the room, but I replied "Oh HEEEEELL NAH!" and shut the door. The alarm clock then sounded, and I left, ending the second night.
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[[File:500px-Restroom.jpg|thumb|256x256px|Sanic and Golden Freddy doin the dougie ]]
I arrived at 11:40 in the morning and watched some funky PR0NZ and watched some Five Nights At Freddy gameplay until the phone rang. The phone guy said that today was gonna be fine. He said my paycheck will be sent to me at 8:00 PM tonight. I was so excited, I ran out the room. When I did this, I almost got rekt by Sanic but I went into the office and shut the door in time. I was relieved until I saw Bonnie running down the other hallway. I closed the door on Bonnie's arm, cutting it of and leaving it in my room as a pet. I played some more Flappy Bird until I got bored, so I went to check on the others. Dolan and Chica were doing something, um, interesting in the back room. Golden Freddy and Sanic where dancing the dougie when the alarm clock went off and I left.
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== Night 6 ==
[[File:Bathroom showdown.jpg|thumb|220x220px|Patrick the Potato's satanic ritual]]
I got my pay check yesterday. I arrived to this place again for some more money. The phone guy then said that if I wanted overtime I needed to work today and tomorrow. I then yelled "GOD DAMMIT!" and threw the IPad down. I then saw Patrick the Potato sneaking into the bathroom dragging Turdy the Turtle. I then said "okaaay?" and kept on glancing through the cameras. I saw Freddy and Balloon Bitch doing the disco while Sanic and foxy were jumping on top of Bonnie. Other than that, nothing has really happened, until around 3 AM. I heard screaming coming from the ladies restroom, so I hacked past the ERROR message I saw before and saw Turdy in the middle of a Devil Sacrificial circle, while Patrick was chanting some kind of demonic spell. Then, EVIL PATRIXX appeared from the center of the sacrificial circle and he destroyed the wall. He also falcon punched Patrick and ran out of the pizzeria. Then, the alarm clock went off. I ran out of the pizzeria and called 911.
== Night 7 ==
I arrived at work at 11 PM so I could have a full hour beat Flappy Bird. I did, thankfully, just in time for the next phone call. The phone guy said they needed an animatronic to replace Patrick and Turdy, and they had not that much money from wall repairs, so they brought back the Puppet. Knowing who this Puppet animatronic was, I yelled "Dammit!" He also said that he installed a new app to "spice things up". I checked the IPad and, like he said there was an app called "Animatron Hacker 360". I clicked it and there was, like, a 30-minute loading screen. After that, a screen popped up with all of the current animatronics: Freddy, Bonnie, Chica, Foxy, Sanic, Dolan, Balloon Bitch, Golden Freddy and The Puppet. There were several different presets, so i will try to show my reactions to each of them.▼
[[File:Golden freddy in fnaf2 by crystaliszelda-d8615hm.jpg|thumb|220x220px|The actual hacking screen. Pretty Legit.]]
▲I arrived at work at 11 PM so I could have a full hour beat Flappy Bird. I did, thankfully, just in time for the next phone call. The phone guy said they needed an animatronic to replace Patrick and Turdy, and they had not that much money from wall repairs, so they brought back the Puppet. Knowing who this Puppet animatronic was, I yelled "Dammit!" He also said that he installed a new app to "spice things up". I checked the IPad and, like he said there was an app called "Animatron Hacker 360". I clicked it and there was, like, a 30-minute loading screen. After that, a screen popped up with all of the current animatronics: Freddy, Bonnie, Chica, Foxy, Sanic, Dolan, Balloon Bitch, Golden Freddy and The Puppet. There were several different presets, so i will try to show my reactions to each of them.
9/20 mode- NO! JUST NO! OH GOD! GET THIS AWAY FROM ME!
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That was all of them. So, yeah. See you later.
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== Night 9001 ==
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== Epilouge ==
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FUCK THIS JOB! It was scary, dumb, and sometimes boring! But now that I have all of this money, I can do ANYTHING! Now I can just bribe Robot Steve Jobs to make me Vice President of Apple Inc. instead of continuing this frikin job! I am soooo filthy rich! I am no longer a hobo, now I am a millionaire! Goodbye readers! See me on the cover of millionaires weekly▼
=== THE END!!!!!!! ===▼
▲FUCK THIS JOB! It was scary, dumb, and sometimes boring! But now that I have all of this money, I can do ANYTHING! Now I can just bribe Robot Steve Jobs to make me Vice President of Apple Inc. instead of continuing this frikin job! I am soooo filthy rich! I am no longer a hobo, now I am a millionaire!
Goodbye readers! See me on the cover of millionaires weekly
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[[Category:YT Readings]]
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[[Category:EVIL PATRIXXX]]
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[[Category:Cliche Madness]]
[[Category:That just raises more questions!]]
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