A Generic Pokemon Pasta: Difference between revisions
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So I would say that I've always been a fan of the Pokemon franchise. I will always cherish my memories of training my little grass frog to beat the shit out of everything that stands in its path. However, for a brief period, around the release of generation 5(Black/White, Black2/White2), I entered a phase where I thought I was too old for Pokemon. Obviously, I am no longer in that ridiculous phase. Because of this, I never got to play a gen 5 game. I would spend hours upon hours searching for a copy of the games on eBay or Amazon, only to find that the games are '''SO GODDAMN EXPENSIVE'''. Eventually, though, my search bore fruit, or so I thought. I found a copy of pokemon white(I prefer Zekrom, sue me) for the low, low price of a mere $25. Initially, I questioned it. "Why would a gen 5 game be this cheap?" "Is there maybe something wrong with it?". Eventually, my curiosity won out. I purchased the game and it promptly arrived within the next two days. When it finally arrived, my excitement peaked. I ran to grab my Nintendo 3Ds XL edition. As I inserted the cartridge, the all-too-familiar click of the cartridge fitting perfectly within the slot sounded like a perfect three-part harmony to my ears. As I booted up the game, I was greeted not by a 3D-rendered model of the Pitch-Black Pokemon, Zekrom, but by an odd Pokemon that resembled a fusion of Giratina and Kyurem.
As I awoke to the iconic "Welcome to the world of Pokemon" screen, I was given a rude awakening, as instead of the grand, adventurous music I was expecting, I was given a warped, garbled mess of sounds that vaguely resembled the Lavender Town theme from Pokemon Red and Blue versions. On top of that, professor Juniper was replaced by a glitchy mass of pixels that reminded me of missingNo. At this point, I began to become uneasy, but being the brave, grown adult I am, I ventured farther into the game. As I made it to the part where I picked my starter, I noticed something. The starters had a solemn, almost mournful, look in their eyes. To this, I paid no mind as I chose the funni smug danger noodle(I names him Hat Kid). Now, I know what you're going to say, "Hey Dumbass, Snivy has the lowest base stat total of all the grass starters" but I don't give''' A SHIT ABOUT YOUR FUCKING OPINION, YOU BITCH'''. Now, the rivals were perfectly normal. Cheren was his usual stick-up-his-ass self, while Bianca was the embodiment of the stereotypical "Dumb Blonde". As soon as the battle began, I was startled by the fact that the rival battle music was replaced by an incoherent series of beeps and shrill eight-bit screams, which is what it sounded like at least that's how I interpreted it. When my favorite asshole Cheren's little pig reached critical health, I was disappointed, as the banger gen 5 critical health sound formed a nightmarish harmony with the messy cacophony of noises I was hearing as my ears began to bleed. It was ear-piercingly loud, even as I lowered my 3Ds' volume.▼
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[[Category:Trollpasta]]
[[Category:Pokemon]]
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