A Meeting with AL-Qaida: Difference between revisions
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-Yes Mr. Officer said a calm Jimmy and left the room
''Credited to {{cpwuser|Mr.sixsixsix}}''
== VASTLY IMPROVED VERSION==
The episode with Al-Qaida
"It's a secret I can't reveal, Mr. Officer," said a calm, ominous Jimmy. He ominously fucked the table below him and ominously left the room.
▲"It's a secret I can't reveal, Mr. Officer," said a calm, ominous Jimmy. He ominously fucked the table below him and ominously left the room.
TWELVE CENTURIES AGO...
'''Chapter One'''
▲Okay, here's a little heads-up on what happened:
Jimmy's parents were NOT OR TV agents. That stands for: Never Overdose Today OR Tomorrow, Victor! It was set up by a schizophrenic miser who loved to take drugs. A few days ago, Jimmy's parents left to battle Jeff the Killer. They succeeded, and, returning to their home whilst making out, had no idea about what was to come...
"Good morning, fuckers," the schizophrenic said to Jimmy's parents. They proceeded to GET NEKED and make out on the floor. "Fuckers, I am assigning you the task of... "getting rid"... of an Al-Qaida camp." He sipped (or rather, inhaled) his coke, pausing for half an hour to take in the beauty of the drug before resuming his speech. "Terrorism is bad for my business, and I require you two to take care of the task for me. There are nine Al-Qaida leaders in Cuba. You two are to fuck them all up. We already have the thumbs-up-in-my-ass approval from President Bush, thumbs-up-in-our-asses approval from the FBI, and I-don't-give-a-shit-about-thumbs-upping-you-guys-just-get-it-over-with-pronto approval from Cuba. We still have no approval from the major Al-Qaida leaders. Dismissed." Jimmy's parents GOT NOT NEKED and left the room.
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And so they went off on a journey like no other. Sitting on unicorns (for the element of surprise), Jimmy, Jimmy's parents, and 20 other extras who didn't matter went off... to go to a meeting with Al-Qaida.
'''Chapter Two'''
IN THE SECRET AL-QAIDA CAMP...
Osama Bin Laden sat there ominously sucking his ominous thumb while the distant sound of rainbows steadily came closer.
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"What?" the Taliban leader at the other end of the table asked. Osama ominously threw a cup of coffee at him, and the leader, seeking redemption for interrupting his superior, ran out of the room screaming from the hot coffee all over him. He proceeded to GET NEKED and make out with the NEKED grass. Little did he know that Martin and Martine were doing the same thing with the 20 other extras as they made their way over to Cuba...
Finally, after two minutes of running around, the unicorns got exhausted and proceeded to die. Everyone made it off safely, and they saw the Al-Qaida camp.
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"Okay guys," Martine said. "Let's get this over with. YEEHAW"
'''Chapter Three'''
"My leader," a Taliban leader said.
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"Next time, it'll be real," Osama ominously said, before ominously putting his pistol back into his ominous shirt.
"I'm ready!" Jimmy said.
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Jimmy cried. He crai every taim.
'''Chapter Four'''
Jimmy went into the barnhouse as action music played and Taliban soldiers chased after him.
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A police officer opened the barnhouse's door and gasped at Jimmy. He continued gasping at every other second as he led Jimmy away in handcuffs while his uncle watched, NEKED...
'''Chapter Five'''
"Take a seat, Jimmy," the police officer said. Outside, the police officer that escorted Jimmy to the police station died of hyperventilation from too many gasps.
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"It's a secret I can't reveal, Mr. Officer," said a calm, ominous Jimmy. He ominously fucked the table below him and ominously left the room.
THE END▼
...OR IS IT? DUN DUN DUN
''Vastly improved version written by [[user:41488p|41488p]].''▼
▲THE END
==[[REPERCUSSIONS OF EVIL|True Ending]]==
Later...
Jimmy waited. The lights above him blinked and sparked out of the air. There were Al-Qaidas in the base. He didn't see them, but had expected them now for years. His warnings to Mr. Officer were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.
Jimmy was a NOT OR TV member for fourteen years. When he was young he watched his parents and he said to dad "I want to be on the planes daddy."
Dad said "No! You will BE KILL BY AL-QUIDAS!"
There was a time when he believed him. Then as he got oldered he stopped. But now in the Cuban base of the Osama he knew there were Al-Qaidas.
"This is Mr. Officer" the radio crackered. "You must fight the Al-Qaidas!"
So Jimmy gotted his mahcine gun and blew up the wall.
"HE GOING TO KILL US" said the Al-Qaidas
"I will shoot at him" said the Osama Bin Laden and he fired the rocket missiles. Jimmy machinegunned at him and tried to blew him up. But then the ceiling fell and they were trapped and not able to kill.
"No! I must kill the Al-Qaidas" he shouted
The radio said "No, Jimmy. You are the Al-Qaidas"
And then Jimmy was touch by this.
''True Ending, a [[REPERCUSSIONS OF EVIL|Repercussions of Evil]] remix, written by {{cpwuser|ClericofMadness}}''
{{v|reading|MaojSiRuVU0}}
▲Vastly improved version written by 41488p.
[[Category:Trollpasta]]<!-- (NOTE: The first version of this story is a "serious" pasta, while the Vastly Improved ones are trolls poking fun at the first version. Normally these two categories wouldn't be added together.) -->
▲[[Category:Military]]
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[[Category:English Class Failure]]
[[Category:Collab]]
[[Category:Read by SOG]]
[[Category:TPOTM]]
[[Category:SUGGESTED READING]]
[[Category:Old Shit]]
[[Category:Hall of Fame]]
[[Category:MOTHER OF FUCK THIS PAGE IS LONG LIKE MY PAINIS]]
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