NOTE: This is a parody of the old "Goodtimes" virus hoax. [[File:Sick-computer.png|thumb]]▼ This just in : NEW VIRUS WARNING ▼
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If you receive an e-mail with a subject line of "Badtimes," delete it ▼
immediately WITHOUT reading it. This is the most dangerous Email virus yet.
▲ {{email|This just in : NEW VIRUS WARNING
It will re-write your hard drive. Not only that, but it will scramble any
▲ If you receive an e-mail with a subject line of "Badtimes," delete it immediately WITHOUT reading it. This is the most dangerous Email virus yet.
disks that are even close to your computer. It will recalibrates your
refrigerator's coolness setting so all your ice cream melts and milk curdles.
It will re-write your hard drive. Not only that, but it will scramble any disks that are even close to your computer. It will recalibrates your refrigerator's coolness setting so all your ice cream melts and milk curdles. It will demagnetize the strips on all your credit cards, reprogram your ATM access code, screw up the tracking on your VCR and use subspace field harmonics to scratch any CDs you try to play.
It will demagnetize the strips on all your credit cards, reprogram your
ATM access code, screw up the tracking on your VCR and use subspace field
It will give your ex-boy/girlfriend your new phone number. It will mix antifreeze into your fish tank. It will drink all your beer and leave its dirty socks on the coffee table when there's company coming over. It will hide your car keys when you are late for work and interfere with your car radio so that you hear only static while stuck in traffic.
harmonics to scratch any CDs you try to play.
Badtimes will make you fall in love with a hardened pedophile. It will give you nightmares about circus midgets. It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine, all while dating your current boy/girlfriend behind your back and billing their hotel rendezvous to your Visa card.
It will give your ex-boy/girlfriend your new phone number. It will mix
antifreeze into your fish tank. It will drink all your beer and leave its
It will seduce your grandmother. It does not matter if she is dead, such is the power of Badtimes, it reaches out beyond the grave to sully those things we hold most dear.▼ dirty socks on the coffee table when there's company coming over. It will
hide your car keys when you are late for work and interfere with your car
Badtimes will give you Dutch Elm disease. It will leave the toilet seat up and leave the hairdryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub. It will remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, and refill your skim milk with whole.
radio so that you hear only static while stuck in traffic.
It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying to behold. ▼ Badtimes will make you fall in love with a hardened pedophile. It will give
you nightmares about circus midgets. It will replace your shampoo with Nair
It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve. ▼ and your Nair with Rogaine, all while dating your current boy/girlfriend
behind your back and billing their hotel rendezvous to your Visa card.
These are just a few signs. ▼
It will seduce your grandmother. It does not matter if she is dead, such is
Be afraid. Be very, very afraid. }}▼▲ the power of Badtimes, it reaches out beyond the grave to sully those things
we hold most dear.
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Badtimes will give you Dutch Elm disease. It will leave the toilet seat up
and leave the hairdryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub. It
will remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows,
and refill your skim milk with whole.
▲ It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying to behold.
▲ It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve.
▲ These are just a few signs.
▲ Be afraid. Be very, very afraid.
Some variations close with this:
{{email|Listen to me. Badtimes does not exist.
It cannot do anything to you. But I can. I am sending this
message to everyone in the world. Tell your friends, tell your
message to everyone in the world. Tell your friends, tell your family. If anyone else sends me another E-mail about this fake Badtimes Virus, I will turn hating them into a religion. I will do things to them that would make a horsehead in your bed look like Easter Sunday brunch.}}
Badtimes Virus, I will turn hating them into a religion. I will do
things to them that would make a horsehead in your bed look like
Easter Sunday brunch.
▲NOTE: This is a parody of the old "Goodtimes" virus hoax.[[File:Sick-computer.png|thumb]]
[[Category:Pre-Trollpasta]]
[[Category:Satire]]
[[Category:COMPUTERS AND INTERWEBZ]]
{{Comments}}
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