Bee Movie Game: The Beta Copy: Difference between revisions
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I drive around in a truck, open people's mailboxes, and put envelopes in them.
I am a well-paid, government-employed, mailman. You've heard of Man of Steel? Well,
I still have that curious side from my time as a trash-man.
There was no label, but there was something written in silver marker:
I invited my friend Scotty to come see this with me since
A creamy tomato soup with a special mix of herbs, a basket of buttered sweet rolls, a classic French salad with lemon dijon vinaigrette, a Sole Meuniére with browned butter caper sauce and a side of fried calamari, and a delicious dessert of Cheesecake. This five-course meal prepared all by my hands, the culinary classes I had taken in college and jobs in various three and four-star restaurants paying off massively.
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As we sat down with our food, I heard something moving outside. I immediately shrugged it off as I was starving and eager to play this never-before-seen work in progress of an actually decent licensed movie game. I dusted off my old Xbox360, sneezing 1,996 times because of my allergies, and plugged it into my vintage CRT television, finally getting seated and beginning to dig into our meal.
That was until John Goodman, the voice of Montgomery from Bee movie, kicked down my front door.
As I turned to go back inside, I could have sworn I smelled
It started off with a poor-quality video of presumably a couple of the developers jacking off into a Diet Pepsi can. What? What the hell? Wait a minute… Why did they put this in to begin with? Not to mention I was eating and this made me feel sick to the bone. A poor quality audio file played that said,
The clip finally ended and faded to black, and the title screen came up. It was a bit different than what the final title screen is. It looked like it has picture instead of a video. At that point I thought little of it, especially after the opening video. The
There was no main menu, interview, cutscenes, or anything, it just jumps right into the game with New Hive City. The layout was a bit different and the textures were even more different. The whole game was a 3-D environment instead of the 3.5-D that is in the final game. Barry's model however remains the same. I advanced through the jobs just fine, nothing out of the ordinary. It wasn't until First Flight when things turned south.
Instead of Pollen Jocks General telling them the rules before they began to fly to start off the level, Adam challenged Barry to a tap dancing competition that Barry declined, grabbing Adam by the arm, throwing him out of an open hive. So this was a cutscene. It cuts to Adam laying on the pavement below, outcold, unmoving and dead with ultra-realistic blood surrounding him in a sizeable pool. Barry looked down in satisfaction with what he had done. He smiled wide and turned towards the camera revealing bee-like eyes. I was unnerved by this and found it to be quite chilling. Barry spoke in a low tone,
It then cut to a 1080p movie that was seemingly animated by Dreamworks themselves. It shows Ken and Vanessa on the sofa enjoying some quality television programming, sharing some delicious Wonderful Pistachios. All of a sudden, their skin turns gray. Vanessa soon after begins vomiting violently while Ken goes into an asthma attack, the chlorine eating away at his lungs. Hector was drunk and he was falling downstairs, shitting all over himself and rolling around in it. Ken begins coughing up thick, dark crimson blood that twinkled like rubies in the brightly lit living room as Vanessa goes into convulsions. Ken's eyeballs fall out and his face melts off in disturbing detail.
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Now this was taking things too far. Your face doesn't melt off from chlorine poisoning, but Ken was surely melting away. Bits of his flesh sticking to his clothing and stretching like melted mozzarella cheese on a freshly-baked pizza. His screams and gasps of air becoming muffled gurgles as he chokes on his molten flesh as his appearance becomes less human and looks more and more like Ditto from Pokémon.
Seeing this made me want pizza instead. So, I gave my portion of the dinner to Scotty as I paused the cutscene and pulled out my cell phone. I dialed up Little Caesars and ordered a large pepperoni pizza and some crazy bread. 20 minutes later I get a knock on my door. I get up to open the door and the man who was warring a ВИD mask was holding my order, the infamous Russian logo of the early-1990s.
He looked back at me and said,
Ken, or what was left of him, dropped to the floor in a pile of gooey skin and clothing. Once all of his skin had melted into nothing, all that was left was a skeleton. It cuts back to Barry. Him being a bee, he was immune to the chemical mixture that he created as he stared into the camera, into my very soul, those piercing bee eyes burning into my mind. Upon closer inspection.
My nemesis, the Benson.
His eyes beamed at me with a bee-like appearance. His own flesh looked as though it had a bumpy, reptilian texture to it. His eyes rolled into the back of his head as he dropped to the floor and his demeanor froze in a normal dead bug facial pose. He had a audio tape that kept repeating his famous line but different…
Indeed, several worms burrowed holes through
When the shrinking was complete, it turned out that my dear friend Scotty, never actually existed. Instead it was Adam who had cloaked himself as someone else! Barry and Adam came at me, backing me up to the TV.
I cleaned up the mess and went straight to bed. When I woke up the next morning, the game that I had left on my coffee table was gone, and Fred Figglehorn pissed on my PC.
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