Blonic

I love Sonic the Hedgehog. He's my favorite video game caracter everz. But something happened...something evil. I bought a used copy of Sonic 1 on Egenericplacetobuyusedvideogamecartidgesthatcouldbeevil.com, but it told me I needed to go to my local pre-order game store to buy it. The people there said I needed to go to a garage sale to buy it. The people at the garage sale said I needed to go to an old man in the alley way to buy it. The old man gave it to me for free, and said, "You better be careful with that game. It's EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVVVVVVVVVVVVIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLL!!!" But I didn't listen to him. I put the game in. The game started in Green Hill Zone, no title screen, no SEGA logo, no nuthin, bro. I was playing as Tails. Odd. I couldn't see his face, though. I saw Sonic, just sitting there. Like Tails, I could only see his back side. Tails then asked, "Hey, Sonic, do you have the time?" The voice didn't sound like any Tails. No actual voice actor, not even a kid. It sounded like a guy speaking in a low deep voice. Sonic then turned around. He looked hideous! He had his spikes, but his face looked human! He had sharp teeth, and dead cold eyes. He also had a wittle frown. He replied with, "I'M NOT SONIC! I'M MY ORIGINAL CHARACTER, BLONIC!!!" I was shocked! It wasn't Sonic! But then the camera cut to Tails. Tails had a grin on his face. He, too, looked human. "And I'm not Tails. I'm my original character, Blails!" This scared me, too! They were so original! Blonic and Blails had a conversation. "PEOPLE REALLY NEED TO GET THEIR FACTS STRAIGHT!" "I'll say." But then, Blonic puffed up like a baloon. It was SUPAH GROSS AND HYPER REALISTIC!!! "OH NO!!! I'M INEXPLICTIBLY INFLATING AGAIN!" Blails still had a grin on his face. The game ended with Blails evily saying," How imbarresing."

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