Breaking Bad: The Lost Episode: Difference between revisions
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In the next scene you could see Walter peeling the skin off of Jesse's dead body in the RV. It was displayed in graphic, gruesome detail. They showed every last aspect of it. “I'm going to make something out of you, Jesse. Believe me. I'm going to make you into mashed potatoes!” Walter rambled with a strict tone while dismembering Jesse. For some reason, this reminded me of the part where Walter pulled off all those masks from his face like a Matryoshka, but oh well. Walter moved on to Jesse's genitals, but here's the twist we all were not and could not have been prepared for: Jesse was a girl all along. Walter revealed on Jesse's body the most beautiful vagina he and I had ever seen. It was truly immaculate Walter burst into tears, lowering his head onto the dead, lifeless body of his companion. Then the credits rolled.
Overall, it was a pretty good episode. I admit, it had some flaws and I had my doubts here and there, but it came to a pretty satisfying conclusion. But then it hit me like a bullet hit that boy's brain earlier. I melted into tears. I finally knew what was going on. Over the course of the episode, I perpetually had this lingering feeling that something wasn't quite right. That something was off. Now I knew what it was. And this revelation was bound to change my life forever. I'm going to tell it to you now, without delay. Jesse was blind all along. He didn't see Walter kill those two children in a heinous fashion. The reason why he was crying was that he thought he wouldn't get ice cream because the car halted again. And here's what's more: The reason why the text message on the phone referred to the character as Bryan rather than Walter is that it wasn't a show. It was just cleverly disguised as such. All of the footage was shot by dashcams that are used to determine the culpability in case of a car accident. And you know what that means? Bryan Cranston actually killed an innocent girl, an innocent boy, an innocent blind young woman, and a Chinese man. (That happened on the way to the RV, by the way.) All for nothing. I definitely had to bring justice to this matter, but all the evidence was lost. Netflix had fixed the exploit in their system while I was watching the episode. I was broken-hearted. Then it struck me once more: I had programmed the VHS recorder to record the re-run of the Seinfeld episode where Jerry Seinfeld is
The door opened and Bryan Cranston stormed into the room. I hastily pulled up my underpants that were still down from that car scene from… You know what, it doesn't fucking matter why they were down, what matters is that I pulled them up, impeding my movement options right at this crucial moment. And then it was too late. Bryan Cranston already had the tape in his possession. I felt miserable. But Bryan Cranston began speaking, “Son, don't draw any rash conclusions. I'm going to explain everything to you.” I mistrusted him at first, but everything he said made sense. As it turns out, I had partaken in a hidden camera prank show and it was all just a big, funny joke.
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