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-Chapter “D”"D”
“Woohoo"Woohoo!” I shouted, throwing up my fists.
“What"What you say, punk?!”
-- Chapter “DA”"DA”
[[File:Mustache.JPG|thumb|176x176px]]
“Did"Did you grapple the alligator?” He asked before I opened my mouth. He had a crunchy, slightly sweet voice.
“Yes"Yes.”
“And"And did it flop and wop?”
“Duh"Duh.”
“Good"Good. I like your mustache.”
“Hey"Hey, you got them bananas?” the voice asked.
“…Yeah"…Yeah.”
“Alright"Alright.”
--- Chapter “DAB”"DAB”
“Can’t"Can’t a parentless, orphan family eat in peace?!” I shouted desperately.
I heard a “plop”"plop” come from the front door. I walked over to it and saw a DVD labeled with a black marker, “GRAMMA"GRAMMA NUT GOES BANANAS” lying in front of the mail slot, along with a note.
[[File:Dumb butter thing.JPG|thumb|220x220px]]
The note read, “Dear"Dear Mr. Norris, we’re pleased to inform you that you’ve been accepted at H-“" “Yeah"Yeah, yeah,” I mumbled, crumpling the note. I got so many of those notes that they sometimes flew down all my house’s orifices to get at me, with each note competing to get in my attention. I wondered if I should write them back asking them to stop it already. However, I noticed writing on the back of the page. I uncrumpled it the best I could to find what seemed to be a smear of peanut butter and the words, “YOU"YOU BUTTER DIE SOON” scrawled across.
<nowiki>----</nowiki> Chapter “DABD”"DABD”
“EAT"EAT IT, PUNKS!!” they shouted.
My siblings all woke up and we gave a panicky run to a storage room that was far from the incoming tide of peanut butter. Only I made it as everyone else got stuck in the knee-deep, viscous matter. I quickly closed the door and began to feel hopeless. I decided that I might as well take a look around for anything helpful. Hanging from the ceiling in the corner were huge bunches of bananas. My only option. I dragged down a couple of them and brought them to the door. I took a deep breath, opened it, and immediately peanut butter filled the storage room. This time I had a banana boat. I sat on the banana bunches and used a nearby broom for propulsion. It was tricky as I avoided the waving arms of my siblings fighting against the sticky currents, but I made it to the base of the stairs.
“I’m"I’m coming for you!” I shouted, chucking a banana at the shadowy figure.
“Oww"Oww!” they yelled, throwing their head back. Their hat fell off, revealing no other than Gramma Nut herself.
“YOU"YOU?!”
“But…"But… how?!”
“Fake"Fake mustaches.”
She cackled viciously. “You"You were always an annoying one. So how did you think we felt when you began watching us every second, taking notes? We just wanted to play alone with your kids! Like it’s a big deal.”
“But"But why have you been watching me for such a long time?”
“Because"Because the peanut butter never escapes. It sticks like the strongest glue in history, and only when a man gets down on his hands and knees and limply licks it might it bend.”
“What"What?”
“Because"Because shut up.”
“No"No!” I shouted, holding on to the door frame and whacking her with the broom.
“Halt"Halt!” Boomed a voice.
<nowiki>-----</nowiki> Chapter “DABDA”"DABDA” (LOOK LOOK THIS MEANS DENIAL, ANGER, BARGAINING, DEPRESSION, ACCEPTANCE!!!!! IT TOTALLY MEANS IT GWUYSSS!!! I'M SO SMURT)
“No"No!!” shouted Gramma Nut, glaring at the king.
“Hey"Hey, where am I?” I asked the king, not feeling any fear at this point.
“Well"Well, looks like you made it back. But can you make it ahead?” the king asked.
“What"What? Who are you?”
“Luke"Luke. I… am your father.”
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”
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