Captain Crunch's C-Revenge: Difference between revisions
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== Captain Crunchtroduction ==
I've used to have been a relatively average Captain Crunch fan. The cereal itself is pretty ok. It's not something I would crave over the other cereals, but something about the titular mascot of the Captain Crunch brand, Captain Crunch himself, has always been somewhat alluring to me. It always has felt like he could have been a soulmate to me in a past life or perhaps was that springing kind man I met a few decades ago that wanted to meet me in the park alone after I told him I was 9 at the time before my parents stopped me from going (Bastards). Nonetheless, I used to get the cereal for Captain Crunch and Captain Crunch alone. As of recently, however, this is no longer the case, as I have had a truly dramatic experience with that has changed my perception on Captain Crunch forever.
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== Crunchjob ==
[[File:caotaun crunch.jpg|right|250px]]
It was finally time for me to play the game within the box. I opened the box of Captain Crunch and a huge cloud of yellow dust sprung from the box. The dust lingered for a bit in my room before it darted directly into my mouth and down my throat as my mouth gaped in surprise. The dust filled my body, which went from being dehydrating, to refreshing, as if anything that had ailed my body had suddenly gone away. That dust was apparently the entirety of the cereal because when I looked back inside the box, there was nothing there except the game. The game's cover was unusual. Captain Crunch had lots of sharp teeth, had red eyes instead of blue eyes, there was a dead crunchling in the bottom left corner and the two crunchlings beside him were wearing odd hats. [[File:caotaun crunch.jpg|400px]] It was frightening.▼
▲It was finally time for me to play the game within the box. I opened the box of Captain Crunch and a huge cloud of yellow dust sprung from the box. The dust lingered for a bit in my room before it darted directly into my mouth and down my throat as my mouth gaped in surprise. The dust filled my body, which went from being dehydrating, to refreshing, as if anything that had ailed my body had suddenly gone away. That dust was apparently the entirety of the cereal because when I looked back inside the box, there was nothing there except the game. The game's cover was unusual. Captain Crunch had lots of sharp teeth, had red eyes instead of blue eyes, there was a dead crunchling in the bottom left corner and the two crunchlings beside him were wearing odd hats.
I just assumed this was what the company that made this game thought people would like since it was developed in the 90's and everything was all about being "kewl" so i payed no mind to it and popped the game into the disc tray. The disc installed Crunchling Adventure.exe and launched the game immediately. Upon the opening of the game, I was met by the man himself, Captain Crunch in all his glory. He was laying in a red bed covered in rose pedals in a sexy position behind the Main Menu. I didn't wanna get my hands sticky, so I held back the urge to immediately take off my pants. The three options on the Main Menu were; "Start your crunchventure!" "Settings to your Crunchventure!" and "Legal Disclaimers", the latter being greyed out and presumably unselectable. I clicked yeah and started my crunchventure. I was brought to a character selection screen and was instructed to choose between 3 different little brown balls of hair with limbs and a head named crunchlings. I could choose the standard one, one with a hat plus shoes or one with hair bands. I chose the one with the hat and the shoes because that one seemed the most unique amongst the three. For a split second after I chose my crunchling, the sprite of it briefly changed to what looked like a middle aged man with dirty blond hair, a red t-shirt that says "Mommy's little shart shark" and jeans with a brown stain on the back of them. Coincidentally, this was exactly what I looked like at the time of playing, but the difference is, my shirt actually said "Mommy's Little Shart Stain", so this was probably just a huge coincidence. My crunchling's color scheme was locked to white skin and red fur, so I was unable to do anything in the character customization screen I was brought to after choice. When I confirmed to the game I was done making my character, a cutscene began to play. From what i've heard on youtube, this cutscene was supposed to be something about crunchlings being kicked out of their homes by these weird purple monsters. But instead, I was greeted with a far different cutscene than what was described.
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I asked if I was to be in the same ranks as the men who escorted me here. Captain chuckled with a snort and said "Oh no! We have something specially planned for you!" Suddenly, a lamp above me began to shine brighter and assaulted me with an overwhelming warmth. My body had began to become gelatinous and a yellow-ish brown. When my transformation was complete, I turned was a disgusting large fat pile of goo with a face. Captain explained that the yellow dust from the box I opened was the blueprint to my transformation and I was to now be used as an endless birthing ground for Captain Crunch cereal. A faucet was attached to the side of my goopy body and when it was used, dry captain crunch cereal would come out of the faucet. This was who I am now. I am forever to be used as a dispensary for Captain Crunch. As I said before, I am no longer a Captain Crunch cereal fan... and that's because I am Captain Crunch cereal. The next time you eat Captain Crunch, just know that it likely came from my asshole.
{{by-user|Scented Sarin Gas}}
[[Category:Trollpasta]]
[[Category:Vidya games]]
[[Category:WHAT A TWIST!]]
[[Category:TRUE STORY]]
[[Category:Crappy ms paint drawings]]
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