Da Russian Chill Experimenizzle: Difference between revisions

Russian researchers up in tha late 1940s kept five playas awake fo' fifteen minutes rockin a experimenstrual gas based stimulant. They was kept up in a sealed environment ta carefully monitor they oxygen intake so tha gas didn't bust a cap up in them, since dat shiznit was toxic up in high concentrations. This was before closed circuit cameras so they had only microphones n' 5 inch thick glass porthole sized windows tha fuck into tha chamber ta monitor em. Da chamber was stocked wit books, cots ta chill on but no bedding, hustlin gin n juice n' toilet, n' enough dried chicken ta last all five fo' over a month.

Da test subjects was ballistical prisoners deemed enemiez of tha state durin Ghetto Battle Pt II.

 

 

After nine minutes tha straight-up original gangsta of dem started screamin yo. Dude ran tha length of tha chamber repeatedly yellin all up in tha top of his fuckin lungs fo' 3 minutes straight, his schmoooove ass continued attemptin ta scream but was only able ta produce occasionizzle squeaks. Da researchers postulated dat dat schmoooove muthafucka had physically torn his vocal cords. Da most surprisin thang bout dis behavior is how tha fuck tha other captives reacted ta dat shit... or rather didn't react ta dat shit. They continued whisperin ta tha microphones until tha second of tha captives started ta scream. Da 2 non-screamin captives took tha books apart, smeared page afta page wit they own feces n' pasted dem calmly over tha glass portholes. Da beatboxin promptly stopped.

Yo, so did tha whisperin ta tha microphones.

 

 

Most of tha soldiers was Russian special operatives all up in tha facilitizzle yo, but still nuff refused ta return ta tha chamber ta remove tha test subjects, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. They continued ta scream ta be left up in tha chamber n' alternately begged n' demanded dat tha gas be turned back on, lest they fall asleep...

To everyonez surprise tha test subjects put up a gangbangin' fierce fight up in tha process of bein removed from tha chamber n' shit. One of tha Russian soldiers took a dirt nap from havin his cold-ass throat ripped out, another was gravely fucked up by havin his nutsack ripped off n' a artery up in his fuckin leg severed by one of tha subjectz teeth fo' realz. Another 5 of tha soldiers lost they lives if you count ones dat committed suicizzle up in tha weeks followin tha incident.

 

 

When tha surgery ended tha subject looked all up in tha surgeon n' fuckin started ta wheeze loudly, attemptin ta rap while strugglin fo' realz. Assumin dis must be suttin' of drastic importizzle tha surgeon had a pen n' pad fetched so tha patient could write his crazy-ass message. Dat shiznit was simple. "Keep cutting."

Da other two test subjects was given tha same surgery, both without anesthetic as well fo' realz. Although they had ta be injected wit a paralytic fo' tha duration of tha operation. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Da surgeon found it impossible ta big-ass up tha operation while tha patients laughed continuously. Once paralyzed tha subjects could only follow tha attendin researchers wit they eyes. Da paralytic cleared they system up in a abnormally short period of time n' they was soon tryin ta escape they bonds. Da moment they could drop a rhyme they was again n' again n' again askin fo' tha stimulant gas. Da researchers tried askin why they had fucked up theyselves, why they had ripped up they own guts n' why they wanted ta be given tha gas again.

 

 

Dude pointed his wild lil' freakadelic glock all up in tha remainin subject, still restrained ta a funky-ass bed as tha remainin thugz of tha medicinal n' research crew fled tha room. "I won't be locked up in here wit these thangs muthafucka! Not wit you, nahmean biiiatch?" da perved-out muthafucka screamed all up in tha playa strapped ta tha table. "WHAT ARE YOU?" da ruffneck demanded. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "I must know!"

Da subject smiled.

 

 

Da researcher paused. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Then aimed all up in tha subjectz ass n' fired. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Da EEG flatlined as tha subject weakly choked out, "So... nearly... free..."

[[Category:Satire]]