Daria: The Lost Episode: Difference between revisions
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(Created page with "{{NSFW}} There was this show “Daria” that aired on MTV in the 90s. This was back when MTV played real music videos, and my punk rock ethos was met with shows that equally inspired us and compelled us to keep viewing. But there is actually an episode of “Daria” that you never heard of where she shoots herself in the head. MTV execs were reported so “disgusted” by the episode that they immediately pulled it from syndication and demanded MTV play some Jackass...") |
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{{NSFW}}
There was this show
But there is actually an episode of
Now before I continue, I think you should know something. I was fired from MTV, abruptly, and tersely, and received a threatening letter warning me never to mention the episode. Thankfully I have since found other employment, so the MBA-holding knob-twiddlers at
Anyway, I stole the tape in the late 90s just as they were moving the VHS tapes in an armored truck to an unnamed location to be burned and/or liquidated when MTV decided to stop playing music videos.
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I decided to watch it last week, and boy let me tell you: this shit. Is fucked.
The show about a rambunctious teenage high school girl and her preppy sister entertained me, I related a lot to
The episode starts as normal, expect now it took place in college and all the characters were adults, with
No, no. This was
As far as I know, this was the only time live footage of the twin towers was ever shown on Daria.
But then it happened. The animation was always bad, and low budget, but here it was a bit more
The next scene cuts to Daria at
You see Anthony deMartino writer her a clinic pass and she shuffles off to the clinic, where she appears to be dying. You see blood pouring out of her nose and she looks like
I started to get pissed off, but then I got a little frightened.
The entire
The entire family......
Oh no!? The entire family, shot violent diarrhea out of their assholes and exploded into pile of shit and blood confetti. You see the
I ran, shaking and screaming and crying, with my pants down because I had been on the toilet watching from the other room, to shut the VHS off. I slammed my finger into the button, knocking the VHS tape over and breaking it. I pulled the VHS tape out and looked at the
Anyway you probably
Oh, oh, clever me. Clever me.
What about my feelings? What about my rights? I just wanted to watch daria, back in the 90s when life was chillax and we all wore black and neon glow-in-the-dark spandex sweater shoes. We were shrek and our favorite movie was Pluto Nash, this was before 9/11 and shitty 7 second videos of fat kids dancing eating marmalade pie, we were cool/chill/pill back then. We
We were real.
I
I put the VHS back in, because it was a gripping episode and I had to see the end. Yes, the van outside my window was probably the FBI and yes, the diarrhea, blood, spaghetti strings and explitives frightened me, but it was Sunday Funday, I had just quit my shit job at shitelodean studios and I had a shitty vhs tape to watch.
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They began to dance. They danced the dance of life. Their eyes were hollow, their faces deflated, they had no souls and they were covered in shit, but this was still the best thing MTV had aired in over a decade.
A weird narration started. The poop monster started talking.
And then the tape exploded. The cops broke down my door, and they stepped on my fucking neck. The cops. Stepped on my neck. And
The end.
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