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Disrespecting Nintendo: Difference between revisions
fixed pictures, fucked up captions but oh well
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imported>Ireallydontcare123456789 (fixed pictures, fucked up captions but oh well) |
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This box wouldn't even fit in my apartment's door. I had to dump all the contents into plastic bags and continue from there. The box itself was quite a sight; while I couldn't be 100% sure, due to all of the marinara sauce it was coated in, it looked like there was blood on the box, in the shape of fingerprints. I tasted it and, to my relief, it was barbecue sauce. Love me some barbecue sauce. Anyways, I began unloading the bags, hand-picking the games out.
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The first thing I pulled out was what looked like a potty-training chart. It said "Respecting NTDO" (NTDO being an abbreviation for Nintendo) taped over whatever the top of the chart said. There were also "strikes" being counted; creepily, today was not marked. The answer for what happened seemed obvious; some weird dad thought his son's Nintendo collection was a "privilege", and if he fucked up, he'd get it taken away...but that wasn't quite the case, as you'll see.
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The next thing I pulled out was one of those DS travel bags, where you can store the console, cords, cartridges, etc. Some games appeared to be missing, probably buried in the depths of the food court. There was a black 3DS inside, along with Tomodachi Life and some weird games I'd never heard of. All of the games (excluding Tomodachi Life) started up with a screen saying "NINTENDO STAFF REVIEW CARTRIDGE" among other info. On every single one, the game states "Copy For: -_-_-_-_".
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Despite their sarcasm, I did exactly what they said. I didn't actually have WiFi (remember, I'm poor as hell), but saw the Customer Service number was on the back of my Game Boy Color...wait, I thought all this shit disappeared! Then I saw my window was open, with a can of invisible paint sitting on the windowsill. Ah, those silly pranksters from my youth! They were causing the invisibility-related spookies all along! I sighed of relief, with a slight but of hope they were doing all this game shit too, and called the number from the Game Boy.
When I called...the police burst through my door. Not to arrest me, not to help me, but to confiscate my games, for some reason. I was desperately asking for answers, but they wouldn't speak until the investigation into Waluigi was over.[[File:Junior.png|thumb
A week later I got a personal e-mail from the FBI, who told me everything they could. Waluigi attempted to murder his son, Waluigi Jr., after the third strike. The circumstances of what the son even disrespected about Nintendo in any strike is unknown. When Waluigi was interviewed, he stated that there was no intended attack on me. Wario came to check up on me through the window to make sure I wasn't causing any problems for the dynamic duo of brothers. In the end, Waluigi was arrested and replaced with a lookalike, and his child is now being taken care of by Wario, who pleaded not guilty.
At the end of the day, I learned a very valuable lesson. You should always respect Nintendo, to make sure Nintendo respects you back, just in case they have a problem with you. This phase of my life is over, and I celebrated the end of my cursed month by seeing "Harold Weinstein Live!! - On Tour" and quitting my pathetic job at Subway. I am now working at a place that pays fairly well, and have moved up to living in a cheap rental home (I got kicked out of the hotel for getting sauce everywhere). Oh, and Nintendo sent me a few free copies of Meesky Moosky, due to my heterosexual fascination with the game. What a great company.
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