Does anyone know a good plumber?: Difference between revisions
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[[File:Mario real plumber.jpg|thumb|right|"Luigi, we've got another job!"]]
Does anyone know a good plumber? I fucked up one of those stupid ritual things that everyone is doing and now my shower is leaking and also
It all started when I was drunk messaging a girl on Tinder and she said that the only way we would meet up was if I did this weird ritual thing where I summon a ghost or some shit. I think she called it Mea Culpa or something.
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She was a weird chick.
At least, I think she was a girl. I
So, anyway, I weighed the pros and cons of spooky rituals vs trampoline booty as best I could on five shots of Patron.
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I decided to go through with the ritual anyway. I was also supposed to have a friend during this thing, but my bestie recently got incarcerated for selling heroin on the corner of Patterson Park and Eastern Avenue. Shout out to my main man, Roscoe.
Anyway, I sat up and turned off my alarm, but the moment I turned it off I drunkenly passed out again. I woke up 20 minutes later and actually got out of bed this time, stumbling around the room in the dark because apparently
I was supposed to find a candle and light it, but my hangover just made me trip over one of the several candles I placed on my floor. Eventually I gave up and flipped the lights on, grabbing a candle from my desk.
I squinted out my window to see what my ghetto Baltimore neighborhood looked like at 4:20am. The street was empty except for some rando wearing a black robe and a giant pointy black hat. He was staring up at me through the window. I
I lit the candle and looked at my phone. I was supposed to knock on my bedroom door 66 times, the 66th knock timed on the 4:06, but since I had fucked everything else up I just did a
For the next step, I was supposed to close my eyes and walk forward while chanting,
At some point the stupid candle went out as I flailed down the stairs, but I was too concussed to care. I rolled up from the ground, groaning, and decided that I would just continue to go through the motions, which meant hiding in a closet and waiting for the ghost to play hide and seek with me. I chose the kitchen pantry because I had some opened potato chips in there, so I made my way back.
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I heard a noise outside the kitchen.
My eyes fell on the kitchen window and I spied that stupid gang member/KKK dude in my backyard, still staring at me. I
At this point, I realized that I needed to reevaluate my life. Maybe I
After going through an entire existential crisis in my pantry, I decided to say fuck it and end the stupid ritual. That Tinder girl
This was all supposed to culminate in me going to my basement, sitting in front of a mirror, and looking into the mirror ''but not actually looking into it'', which made absolutely no fucking sense.
As I got up to open the pantry door, I heard a low moan coming from behind the door. I froze. I prayed to God it
I cracked open the door to see the gang member/KKK guy standing in the kitchen, staring at me. I finally got a good look at him. He definitely
He
So after that I went up to my bathroom to take a shower and now my shower-head is leaking, which I blame on the stupid ritual. So if you guys know any good plumbers in the Baltimore area, I would really appreciate it.
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