Garfield's Gluttony: Difference between revisions
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One sunny summer day I decided to take a walk around my town due to my enjoyment of going for walks. But as I walked past my local bank it exploded in a massive conflagration. Out of the flames strutted a chitinous robot that was at least 4 meters tall, as it strolled by me the robot stopped, looked down at me, handed me a DVD, grew a pair of wings and rocketed into the sky. I went home to watch my new DVD.
I kicked open my front door and cartwheeled over to my computer where I stuck the DVD into its mouth and slapped its head to play the DVD. In response my buff Orc computer screamed as his chest split open revealing a screen and keyboard. The DVD began to play showing a title screen called
It opened with a still frame of a house taken from a house add, I knew this as the price tag was still visible. The house lacked a lawn as the lawn was actually a bunch of rats. The house itself was in pristine condition but was clearly full of ghosts. A mailman began walking up the steps, but it was clear he was green screened in as the house was still a still image. He placed a package on the door step and the vibrated out of existence.
The words
Inside John is confronted by a crudely drawn Garfield, neither of them have an actual walk cycle.
At this a heavily pixilated gif of a mushroom cloud appears in Garfield’s space. However, he is fine aside from having a poorly cropped fire filter over him. John walks past him and places the package on the table. We get to see writing on the box. It reads
The screen begins changing colors and distorting while sludge metal begins playing before everything explodes, implodes, explodes again then proceeds to cover the entire history of the universe and earth starting from the big bang and ending with the life of Jim Davis as he is drawing Garfield’s comic. The scene zoom transitions into the comic panel Davis is working on.
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The Branches begin dragging the Garfield forward while several large, gangly arms begin grabbing fistfuls of dirt and stuffing them into his maw.
The Garfield’s mass begins swirling around like a whirlpool with the Garfield’s head at the center remaining still. This carries on for several seconds, Finally the Garfield’s head splits open and begins puking blood into the sky. The Blood begins rotating in the opposite direction and the Garfield whirlpool.
John, still T-posing, vibrates into existence.
The sky shatters like a glass ceiling as the vortex of blood rapidly begins increasing in size and covers the entire sky. The Garfield grows two long spindly legs and starts walking on them while it uses its arms to scoop the lasagna rain into its maw.
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Annoyed I summoned my best yelling voice, pointed at the Garfield and shouted
The wind picked up and the lasagna and tomato sauce began falling lighter and lighter until it stopped completely. The Garfield looked upon me in shock and horror.
The vortex of tomato sauce was split open as a gargantuan lasagna surrounded by burning wings and rings covered in eyes descended. It spoke in a deep billowing voice.
The Lasagna reached out and burned the Garfield on its head causing it to scream.
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