Garfield and Friends - Nighty Nightmare: Alternate Version: Difference between revisions
Garfield and Friends - Nighty Nightmare: Alternate Version (view source)
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Many of you remember ''Garfield and Friends'', right? Well I love that show. But recently, I found what's possibly the strangest discovery related to it. On my 20th birthday, I decided to look for some ''Garfield'' DVDs on
I went home, got myself a hearty plate of fried chicken, pork schnitzels and French fries, opened a bag of my favorite popcorn, busted out the Lays baked potato chips, poured myself a glass of ice cold, refreshing Coca Cola and began glazing a warm Christmas ham. I topped it all off by baking myself Garfield's favorite foods: lasagna and pizza. As I started up the DVD, the episode played normally for the most part.
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However, getting to the news report scene, the reporter didn't claim Garfield had eaten their mobile unit and run away. Instead, he claimed it was their journalist who was eaten and held his hat to his chest in respect. I was very shocked but I thought it was a morbid joke or something. The rest of the episode was normal until the supermarket scene.
As Jon and Odie ran outside, they saw Garfield being chased by the National
I looked on in horror as Garfield climbed the skyscraper like normally. However Garfield was still scared in this scene, so no quips. Then it cut to Jon and Odie calling out to Garfield to get him somewhere safe. However, a plane quickly passed by Garfield and cut his tail off. He yelled in pain as Jon and Odie, now covered in blood, looked on traumatized.
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As the flying saucer took Garfield away as usual, his owner and dog friend found themselves cornered by the Guard. "Come with us!" the general demanded. With that, the scene quickly cut to Jon and Odie on electric chairs, screaming as their brains were being fried. It then cut to Garfield in the saucer, but Garfield still said no quips whatsoever and the alien had a demonic voice instead of a computerized one.
This scene was pretty much normal, but instead of fading to Garfield in bed, it faded to an oven. Green hands opened the oven and in it
"The Thanksgiving dinner's ready!" One of the chefs called out while ringing a bell, then the scene wiped to the citizens of Clarion eating Garfield's corpse. The king of the planet exclaimed "It's delicious!", as the scene then panned out of the Clarion palace's window and to the starfield, as the music quickly turned into a series of loud drones and thuds for the remainder of the episode.
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The DVD ejected by itself immediately after that, hit me in the eye slicing my cornea in half, and started yelling "YOU'LL PAY!" at me. I ran away from that DVD as far as possible, but it chased after me... and materialized the cooked Garfield out of hammerspace. "EAT YOUR FUCKING CLARION DINNER!" the DVD screamed, shoving chunks of him in my mouth. I could only puke before fainting. During that time, the last I heard was the DVD laughing sinisterly... at me, with the last thing I saw before closing my eyes being the DVD burning the apartment down with the residents' charred bodies falling on the ground.
I woke up in the hospital. Turns out, the doctors had injected lasagna to my heart during a surgical operation that took roughly 16 hours. They called it a medical miracle, stating I had three days left to live. Day one, alert Facebook, YouTube and whatnot about the living hell my life is right now. Day 2, visit the world's largest McDonald's and order some coleslaw. Day 3, march straight into the Nickelodeon headquarters and demand to know the meaning of this godforsaken DVD. I stormed in, slamming the DVD on the counter. "WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT? ARE YOU FUCKING HIGH?!" I yelled to who I thought was the manager of the company. The chair swiveled around,
He was accompanied by Gregg Berger, who voiced that alien in the normal episode. He also had a different skin color than the usual skin color of a human. He was green, wearing no pants, short and stout, pointy-eared (like Link from Zelda or something), had pimples and scars over his face, and his feet and eyes were bigger. I know they both looked horrifying, but Gregg more so than Lorenzo. Three boars that resembled Orson's cousins barged in, with a clown riding one of them, and the clown lunged bombs at me. I deflected the bomb at Lorenzo, Gregg, the pigs and clown, when suddenly they, as well as the office itself, exploded into lasagna. After that, I was arrested at a police, taken to court, and exported to Canada. Several men have painted me orange and black, given me a hair transplant and forced me to live in a suburban house with an eccentric cartoonist. They forced me to perform such demeaning tasks as eating lasagna and kicking the dog off the table on a daily basis. After about a month, a strange man came in holding a video camera. He was filming me and snickering. Other, smaller Hispanic boys threw plastic chicks and stuffed Nermals at me, making me choke on my lasagna and pass out as I lay there in my cat bed, confused, lightheaded. Cold.
When I woke up, I was laying on some strange, flour-shaped floor. As I looked up, I noticed that tomato sauce and grated cheese were being spread all over the floor. Oh my god. Bacon, pepperoni and mushrooms followed. One of the other clowns threw in some salt, pepper and oregano. I was
As I was burned to death inside the oven, I came to a deep realization. See, underneath everything, we're not deep, intellectual human beings. We're not special either. Film Roman lied to us as children. They wanted our money, so they sold us a lie. We're not even unique in style and taste. Go up to your neighbors and greet them as skeletons. Recognize them, for the true skeleton inside. Because one day you might be that skeleton, in fact, you already are that skeleton. The end credits of my existence rolled up, with the words...
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