Getting Rid of an Evil, Scary N64 Cartridge: Difference between revisions
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One time I was laying back on the couch eating a twinkie, and just totally being lazy. I mean ultra-lazy. I
So when someone knocked on the door, I yelled out loud angrily and got up like a drunk sloth. When I stumbled over to the door and opened it, with my twinkie still in hand, I was surprised to see a small package lying at my feet. I picked it up and took a good look at who it was from. It was addressed from my friend Bobby, who had died in a tragic chalk-eating accident last year.
"Oh no you
I saw the post man getting back in his mini car.
"Hey, I
He drove off without looking once at me. What an idiot.
I took the box to my porch and looked at it. Since it was suspicious, I
The letter was in very shaky handwriting, which read:
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Dear John,
I
Lots of love,
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Bobby
I grimaced, and looked at the game. It was a N64 game, and one I had seen at his house. It was called, "The Legend of Zelda:
I went to sleep later that night and had a dream of Bobby with black, bleeding eyes holding the game and repeatedly telling me, "
The next morning I looked for the game, which I left on a table by my door. But, it
"Oh, no you
I tried to take it out, but it was stuck.
"Well, I could play
Then I realized how stupid that was and went to get some pliers. I got it out, finally. I put it in a bag and decided to take it on a road trip.
"Hidden so no one will find it, huh?
"Stop right there!
I turned around to see a park ranger running up the hill in a hurry, all the while huffing from exertion.
"Shoot,
"
I
They ignored me and said, "Get that out of here, NOW!
She was so scary that I ran back to my car. So much for that. I had gotten my parents to drive me out here saying it I was collecting bugs. Dang it.
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I arrived to find my parents hanging out near the portable bathrooms, which smelled awful.
"Did you find bugs, honey?
"No,
Later back at our house, I brought the dumb game in my room.
I figured I could bury it in my back yard. Or throw it away. I figured
The next day, I tried digging a hole with the game still in the bag.
"Oh, doing some gardening?
"Yeah..."
I spent the rest of the afternoon gardening. Shoot.
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After having worked for hours, dirty and sweaty, I gave a long, mean glare to the game in the bag.
"Time for you to go,
That evening at dinner, my mom suddenly got a big smile on her face before taking a bite of mashed potato on her fork.
"Oh, honey,
She ran out of the room for a few seconds and CAME BACK WITH THE CARTRIDGE! Dang it!
"You had almost thrown your game away!
I sighed and decided to explain to her my attempt to get rid of it.
"I
"What?
"Yes, it
"Well, how about you put it on later and find out?
Later on, I took it back to my room. My parents wanted to see it turn on, so I figured
"Oh, a horror game!
I groaned, and watched the evil Link glitch out repeatedly with the happy mask salesman's laughter occasionally joining in.
"Well, looks like it plays,
"Well, I wanna see more,
The last thing I wanted to do was play a game from a supposedly dead friend begging me not to play it.
"
I did my best to feign sleepiness, and they both left. I went to turn the game off, but it stayed on. I unplugged the system, but it was still on. The happy mask salesman in a Keaton mask flashed on screen for a second.
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The next morning, I saw the console was plugged back into my TV. I ran over and pulled the game out of the console, shaking the cartridge in anger.
I figured that I could wait for the house to be empty, and could destroy the cartridge with a hammer. Leaving it in a school bathroom
An idea came to mind. I could try flushing it!
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An hour later, I had a soaking wet cartridge and felt ashamed. What could I do? I looked at the cartridge. Was the title written in black ink, or dark blood?!
"This is some horror movie trash!
Later in the day, my parents did their regular shopping run.
"Okay,
I smiled and twisted my hands together in an evil villain sort of way.
"Mwahahaha!
I took the cartridge into the garage and grabbed a hammer. It was time to get rid of it once and for all.
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I smashed it into a bunch of big chunks, which flew off wildly in every direction. I took the chunks and put them in a trash bag.
"Goodbye, evil video game,
No, I
About a week later, I got another package in the mail. This time it was from my friend Jessica who had recently gone insane and was sent to a mental hospital for no explicable reason. I opened it to find a cartridge and a letter. I threw both into the trash late at night.
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[[Category:Zel-DUUHHH]]
[[Category:NINTENDO SIXTY-FOOOUR]]
[[Category:That just raises more questions!]]
[[Category:Well, that was pointless.]]
[[Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck]]
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