Headroom.exe

Revision as of 19:23, 12 April 2015 by imported>Epicerminer (Corrections.)

Introduction

File:Wizard Squid.gif

One I am certain of, is that everyone I know would agree upon this; I am an elite hacker.

No doubts about it - I'm a fucking pro - and you couldn't take away my pride.

Now, for legal reasons, I cannot state anything I've been involved in, I'll just tell you I'm a serious oldfag in the scene, and part of "Wizard Squid".

I worked a part-time job as a sysop for a school with retarded network configuration. I had a partner working with me, he understood me, my elite hacker needs.

One day, my partner (I'll call him "Nico Claux" (not the necrophiliac, totally different guy, after all, it is a fake name)), gave me a USB labelled "Headroom.exe" - I didn't ask, I never do.

We Need to go DEEPER

File:Headroom.exe

By the end of the day, I was completely tired, I had almost forgotten about Nico's USB... I plugged it into my computer

when I got home.

I had a nice setup - dual monitors - running Fedora (the most euphoric of Linux distros), when I plugged it in, I noticed it only had an ISO file in it, called "newworldorder.iso".

I decided to expand it onto a bootable USB, and boot from it... what I saw still disturbs me to this day.

The Spooky OS

File:-mfw i had to pley gaem.png

Booting from the ISO returned a DOS-style prompt, asking me a simple question, "shall we play a game?"

"Sure", I thought, "what could possibly go wrong?"

I replied quickly to it, "yes, Global Thermonuclear Mudkips."

"Are you sure you don't want to play a game of 'Dead or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball'?" it asked.

That name - I had no doubt something suspicious was going on here, but I replied anyways - "of course, my apologies based NWO."

To this day, the spookiness still haunts me, the hyper-realism, the horrific images. But I continued.

Dead or Alive

File:Ayylmao.png

I knew something was wrong immediately, the screen went black for 3.14159265358979323846 milliseconds (only an elite hacker would know this).

Then, out of the blue, for 10 milliseconds, a message from an elite hacker gang popped up on the screen - flashing - "expoct us".

This was bad... really bad. Anomilous now had me, I tried to do a hard reset - but it only got WORSE - an image appeared, with disturbing music.

The internet vigilantes showed their true wrath and power with this image - yes, it was safe to say - I was spooked.

I quickly loaded up a Virtual Machine on another computer - with Windows Vista (the best hacking OS) - I went to 4chan to ask for help, no luck. I went to http://www.fbi.gov/hack to quickly hack a government mainframe to proxy through and destroy Anomilous. B

ut the hacker gang prevailed.

I had no other option - I had to boot up my old Usenet BBS and download mainframe hack tools - I quickly downloaded a file called Headroom.exe (coincidentally what the USB was labelled).

File:Vb gui.jpg

When it was opened, it loaded a GUI in Visual Basic that would track IPs, I was in.

I quickly used my elite hacking skills to do a cursor dance and DDoS the main Anomilous System.

I attacked it with full force - grabbing garbage files like ZeroCool, deleting System32 - Anomilous was nearly destroyed!!!

But then, out of the blue, Lizard Squad - my hacker group's rival - saved Anomilous, and all my monitors turned black for 666 milliseconds (it spooked me), and a goatse popped up.

 
File:Inb4 me ded.jpg

A chilling message bellow some hyper-realistic blood read this:

"Nice to see you again - [REDACTED] - have you enjoyed your daily dose?"

No - it couldn't be - Anomilous had doxxed me with their 1337 SQLi tool.

I was a goner.

The Final Standoff

I got really, really, spooked.

Static filled my vision, as though I were a computer!

File:Leejun.jpg

I then felt a huge urge to sit down at my infected computer again.

My eyes glued to the screen - Anomilous sent out a really scary high frequency through my disconnected speakers (somehow) - I died, my ears were bleeding.

I was lying on the floor, hyper-realistic blood dripping out of me...

...explosions everywhere.

To this day, Anomilous still exists. Don't try to fight them, they do not forgive, they do not forget.

And then a skeleton popped out.