How Jeff the Killer Fucked Up Christmas: Difference between revisions
How Jeff the Killer Fucked Up Christmas (view source)
Revision as of 17:15, 18 February 2023
, 1 year agoI wrote the famous mean one song for Jeff.
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(I wrote the famous mean one song for Jeff.) |
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Jeff snuck into the town on Christmas Eve, and he started stealing all the fucking presents. He took everything from the littlest toys to the biggest Christmas trees. Jeff was on a fucking mission to destroy the holiday, and he was succeeding.
While he was stealing all the shit, a song played, “you’re a bastard, Mr. Jeff,” the signer said. “You really are a bitch, you’re as cuddly as a tampon, you’re as charming as a micro penis, Mr. Jeff, you’re more of a jackass than a donkey who ate a horse’s cock,” they continued.
“You’re a dickhead, with termites on your ass, you have all the sourness of a rotten lemon pie, Mr. Jeff, given the choice of you guys, I’d choose the rotten pie,” the song sang.
“You’re a bastard, Jeff the Killer, your heart’s a black hole, your shits are filled with spiders, you have garlic in your brain, Mr. Jeff, I wouldn’t wanna touch with a 45 foot pole,” the singer stated.
“You’re a nasty bitch, Jeff, you’re freakier than a 8 armed human, you’re face is paler than snow, your soul’s filled with blood, Jeff the Killer, you’re worse than a triple threat dictator, serial killer, and cultist,” the song continued.
“You’re a bastard, Mr. Jeff, you’re hell’s king of the 7 deadly sins, you’re heart’s a rotten tomato splotched with mold and shit, you’re soul is the most unappealing dump truck overflowing with the ugliest collection of unwashed rubbish that reproduces more than cells imaginable, Mr. Bastard,” the badass song played.
“You’re a nauseous spider, Jeff the Killer, you’re more unattractive than cardiac arrest and heart attacks combined, you’re a crooked little bastard, with a hunchback as your horse, Mr. Jeff, or in simple person talk, the three best words to describe you are, let’s see, bitch, bastard, and dickhead,” the song finished, as Jeff finished stealing shit.
The people in the town woke up on Christmas morning to find that all their fucking shit was gone. They were fucking devastated, and their spirits were broken. The kids were crying, and the adults were pissed. Everyone was looking for the fucking thief who ruined Christmas, and they knew it was Jeff.
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