How Stella Got Her Groove Back 2: Difference between revisions
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Hi,
Ladies and gentlemen of the interwebz...I hold in my hand the unofficial rough-cut DVD copy of ''How Stella Got Her Groove Back 2: The Grooving''. Now
So anyways,
The movie opens with Stella walking into a convenience store. She grabs a banana from the fruit basket and hold it up to the cashier like a gun.
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"Gimme yo muneh, foo!" Stella shouts.
The cashier puts his arms up. "Okay okay,
"
So anyways, Stella gets arrested for robbery and an unrelated prostitution charge and is sentenced to 5 hours in Yale with a Tree-Fiddy bail bond. Her best friend Delilah bails her out and drive her to her safe house.
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"Stella, you got to get your life together!"
"But I
"I see.
"You
"Oh yeah...one last heist?"
"Just like old times.
So then
"Okay, so
"You know, this would be a lot better to explain if we had visual AIDS, but whatever."
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"I think my guy sold me the wrong darts! Quick, switch to Plan B!"
Stella and Delilah both dash to the vault and arm the C4 as alarms began sounding. The vault blows open and they run inside. "
Stella stares at the Groove with mixed emotions. Inside the unidentified floating ball-thing is the formula for all things Groove. Without thinking, she grabs it from the podium. They only manage to get a few steps away when a loud
What happen next could only be described as something that could only be imagined when you inject cocaine, crystal meth, heroin, marijuana, and speed all at the same time: the three end up in a hallway with several doors. They duck into one of the rooms and the boulder follows, all while the Benny Hill theme starts playing. The scene continues with them running in and out of doorways like in Scooby-Doo. After about 3 and a half minutes the boulder decides it was bored and wants to go back to its own planet, so it hops into its rock ship and returns to Rock Planet.
When the three realize they lost their pursuer they flick on the lights, only to be greeted with a roomful of slimy alien eggs. The eggs start to open up one by one. "The eggs!
They dash out of the room as Facehuggers lunge attack the black guy that no one paid attention to until now. Full-grown aliens crawl out of the ceiling tiles and give chase. Just when Delilah trips and is about to get killed, a Predator uncloaks and starts killing the aliens. After killing all the aliens, the Predator turns his weapons on Delilah (‘bout
When they get to the roof, the helicopter is waiting to take off. More Predators leap onto the roof from nearby buildings. "GET TO DE CHOPPA!!!" Arnold Schwarzenegger booms, firing his machine gun in all directions. Stella and Indy manage to get in before the helicopter takes off.
Surprise,
"Sup, bitchez." The robot speaks in a monotone voice. "I am BURNING-DOT-TORRENT-DOT-EXE. But my name is not important.
Indy pulls out a scale-model of The Ark from his jacket. "Close your eyes, Stella!" He opens it up and soul-sucking demons pop out. They retreat back into The Ark soon after. Stella opens her eyes, only to see the robot is still there. "Nice try. But I am a robot. I
Just then the
"You call that plot exposition? That was horrible. You were always terrible at creative writing. And you always copied off of me!" BURNING-DOT-TORRENT-DOT-EXE charged at Delilah. The two became locked into an epic sword and gun battle that lasted nearly 10 minutes.
"
"Delilah, no!" Stella shouts. "
"I have to. The evil chickens-
(
So anyways Delilah charges her chest-cannon-black-hole thing and fires, creating a small black hole that sucks her and BURNING-DOT-TORRENT-DOT-EXE inside.
Stella falls to her knees in disbelief. She holds back tears as Indy puts his hand on her shoulder. "
Stella looks up at Indy. "
So there you have it folks. Make of it what you will, but I believe this unreleased movie was meant to see the public eye. Because
"Freeze! Hands in the air!"
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Fuckfuckfuck the Illuminati found out I got ahold of the DVD! Someone, anyone, send help!
"I said hands in the air! Or
No! Not Fluffy! Anything but that!
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"What is that on your computer? Is that---? Fucking dickgirl hentai, seriously?!?! Exit out of that right now!! You use Internet Explorer? Fucking n00b piece of shit!"
Oh God please descend from the heavens and kick this
"I AM GOD!!! Now gimme that DVD!"
Okay okay, please
(Sound of gunshots, followed by the sounds of screaming and dry humping, then a loud explosion, YEAH! EXPLOSIONS RULE, THEY RULE!!!)
[[Category:Stuff Blowing Up]]
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