I'm Sexually Attracted to Gatorade: Difference between revisions
I'm Sexually Attracted to Gatorade (view source)
Revision as of 19:50, 22 August 2023
, 8 months ago→top: replaced: ’ → ' (19)
(Created page with "{{NSFW}} It was the last night of Kwanzaa and I ran out of lube. I got up to go to the grocery store but I was all out of cash, so I took it out of grandma’s purse. I got out some used bazooka joe and a betty boop placemat from the local Red Barn that still exists in my mind but I died in 1955 so you know how I am. Anyway I was about ready to get my towel and hand soap and do it in public when it occurred to me that I already had all that I need and more at home. I op...") |
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It was the last night of Kwanzaa and I ran out of lube. I
got up to go to the grocery store but I was all out of cash, so I took it out
of
from the local Red Barn that still exists in my mind but I died in 1955 so you
know how I am. Anyway I was about ready to get my towel and hand soap and do it
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mean pickle favored Gatorade coated in dead maggots. My life, my dream, my
ambition, my Abraham slays Isaac because Xenu said so while choking on a tic
tac moment. I rubbed off the lid and I rubbed one and then on my god I
believe it I was blind.
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manpendage and it shattered. Highly realistic gore flew everywhere once I
realized I no longer had a dick. Well, this was no laughing matter, I was in
terrible pain. I stuck my finger in the
They said
so I went into the shower when I fell and hit the porcelain goddess and had a
near death experience.
You see, life
freeway with a can of Budwesier because it makes the buds wiser but no. My name
is Bud but I am no longer the wiser because I am dead. I had a fantasy in which
a 700 pound man with one tooth rode a unicorn but its hump sagged because it
some shit. I was broke. My spine was broken. So was his and he is me. We are all
just 700 pound men inside of a tape riding unicorns, and their horn is already
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Sherlock. I took a bite out of the Red Barn sandwich and thought a bit about my
thirst quencher. Pickled Gatorade. Pickle Gatorade. Pickles. Well, no shit! Oh
man. Oh my gourd. Man,
Why do I even daydream? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?
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Said my fetish was rather strange but she also found it rather charming. I lost
my guilt trip about it. Settled down, had a couple of ghost kids. You can call
me the Michelin man if
these towers.
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of this? If this is all just a game and opportunities to grow better than why
do starving kids in Japan make YouTube videos about feeding beef to their pet
crabs? I smoked on a cigar and thought a little bit more about how
kind of damned. You develop these crazy sexual impulses when
and
Grandmother, if you loved me, why did you never buy me a unicorn?
Then I woke up. You do this eight hours a night every night,
or less if you work at the cannery. This is how your brain works, and
nothing you can do about it. The person who loaded the simulation dictated that
this is what you would always do and
smoked marijuana once but I did not inhale. Life inhales us. Life. Inhales. Us.
Red Barn went of business years ago.
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