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==Section heading==
OK so this starts at the dairy when I went there and i haven't been there 0_0, anyway,. I saw this indian woman and she gave me some icecream and it tasted like a pear with arms and legs that had just covered itself in bacon grease and also some duct tape. Anyway later that day I went home and when I was leaving home I saw my mum as I entered my house, so my mum is just standing there then she ran away and we were playing tag with the cats except they are dead possums that we fry up, as i put down my bag I noticed a subtle difference. Small, yet uneasy feeling. I sat down and looked at my mum, she was watching tv at this point. I said to her about how I went to the dairy tommorow and got some icecream and tagged jerry the cat on the way back so he was in. I tensed and lowered my brows, pulling closer to the balls of my feet ready to spring up and run as fast as I could. I watched intensly as the hilarious joke sunk in on my mum. A deep silence fell over the room and broke its legs. Even my dead possums were silent, I swallowed and broke the silence and its spinal cord was severed rendering it disabled. My mum looked up with killer instinct, the distinct smell of bird poo was all over my nose was on my mum, she stood up slowly and raised the knife, I leant forward ready to make a break for it when she screamed 'JERRY WAS ALREADY IN YOU IDIOT, MEANING THAT HE DOUBLE TAGGED YOU AND NOW YOU ARE IN' Now was the time, I sprung up and started trying to run on the wrinkly ballsacks on the bottom of my feet except they were aching sooo bad so i stood there helplessly. She lunged toward the brick wall to the left of me with her knife as I watched in disbelief, Her katana was now fully raised to the tree to the left of me, As my eyes widened I realised that she was about to smash the ferrari to the left of me with her axe that she was weilding. I dived in front of her to try and save her from the impending doom ahead of her swinging crowbar, but it was too late and I did a quadruple flip with perfect execution into the diving pool, the judges gave me a 10, She moved closer and closer to the giant salami stick, I clinched in preparation for the impact.. Luckily she didn't have commando pro on MW2 so she didn't lunge all the way and got quickscoped.. So we all live happily ever after until she bought a doge and named him henry and he ruined tag for us because he wasn't a dead possum so he ruined the whole concept and so we all died. So the morale of the story is always listen to your elders because they know everything ever, ever.... E,V,E.R... by katipo and qreateful
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