Impaleman: Difference between revisions
m
→top: replaced: <comments /> → {{Comments}}
imported>Soviet Comrade (my first masterpiece xdddd) |
m (→top: replaced: <comments /> → {{Comments}}) |
||
| (13 intermediate revisions by 7 users not shown) | |||
Line 1:
[[File:Impaleman.png|thumb|416x416px|An artist's impression of the Impaleman.]]▼
The Impaleman is a mysterious figure with large needles, spikes, drills, etc on his back and as limbs. He wears a spiky, dark gray cloak, and is twice as tall as an average man.▼
▲The Impaleman is a mysterious figure with a dark gray cloak, and large needles, spikes, drills, etc on his
Recently, witnesses claimed that during 5:00 a.m., on every Tuesday, the Impaleman visits random houses, sticks his arm into the windows for a couple seconds, then disappears. Nobody called the police for some reason (trust me, the people in this town are dipshits)▼
▲Recently, witnesses claimed that during 5:00 a.m., on every Tuesday, the Impaleman visits random houses, sticks his arm into the windows for a couple seconds, then disappears.
The Impaleman is very well known for butchering several innocent people on a mountain in 1990, and also for his 2012 worldwide massacre, which caused a shitton of problems for the world in general. The mountain was named Mt. Impaleman (fuckin retards). It is unknown how or why there were that many people on that mountain in the first place.▼
▲The Impaleman is very well known for butchering several innocent people on a mountain in 1990, and also for his 2012 worldwide massacre
▲[[File:Impaleman.png|thumb|416x416px|An artist's impression of the Impaleman.]]
Spooky occurrences:
During the 1700's, corpses of several men and women were found under the Iron Bridge with the words "IMPALEMAN" carved on one of the victim's left arm
On August 12, 1921, a woman claimed that her son had completely gone missing, and she saw a dark, spiky, cloaked figure in her dreams.
Line 17:
On October 10, 1966, an elderly lady believes that she had seen the Impaleman in her dreams. In one of them, the Impaleman was repeating the word "piss" very angrily while throwing a few curse words at her at the same time. She was unsure of whether she was supposed to laugh, or be frightened.
On December 4, 1982, a 5 year old boy had a sudden seizure during dinner with his family. He died in a hospital, and during his last moments, he was whispering "IMPALEMAN" over and over again- wait, how the fuck is this even a trollpasta?
The aforementioned mountain massacre in 1990 (March 12).
On April 1, 2000, a few Brits were having a party with a friend of theirs in London, along with several other people. Before the party could end, their "friend" suddenly shapeshifted into the Impaleman, who loudly screamed "OH, BOB SAGET!", then proceeded to slaughter '''everyone'''. He then said "April Fools, you filthy animal" before leaving the building.▼
▲On April 1, 2000, a few Brits were having a party with a friend of theirs in London, along with several other people. Before the party could end, their "friend" suddenly shapeshifted into the Impaleman, who loudly screamed "OH, BOB SAGET!", then proceeded to slaughter
On July 31, 2007, a little girl was found dead with a drawing next to her. It was a crude drawing of the Impaleman.
On June 3, 2015, a 30 year old man claims that he used to be friends with the Impaleman, and left him because he described the Impaleman as "a drunk dickbag". He also had an uncomfortable feeling that the Impaleman was sexually attracted to him in some way, even though he wasn't.
Line 33 ⟶ 35:
time for the ritual. *ahem*
LOO-SHI BAAAH RHAHOAR
holy shit a portal is opening!
Line 45 ⟶ 47:
i see a dark castle with an evil looking skull and flames at the top. there are spikes all over it, also. deifnitely the impaleman's castle, so i'm going in
there are corpses everywhere :(
Anyway, I made it to his throne room. He's sitting right there, staring at me. he spoke with a very creepy, raspy voice.
Line 63 ⟶ 65:
Me: Yes... you're...
I jumped onto the Impaleman
Me: ...TOURETTES GUY!
Tourettes Guy: ... FUUUUUUCK!
Me: It was you the whole time! but wait... if the impaleman existed since the 1700s, how are you still alive? is there more than one impaleman?!
Line 104 ⟶ 103:
but he might have survived...
<center>This is part of the ''Impaleman'' series</center>
<center>
[[Impaleman 2: The Beginning of the Return of the Revenge of the Wrath of the Impaleman|Next Installment >]]
</center>
[[Category:SUPR SKAREY IMAG]]
[[Category:Satire]]
[[Category:Well, that was pointless.]]
[[Category:Crappy ms paint drawings]]
[[Category:WHAT A TWIST!]]
[[Category:TOTALLY NOT UNFINISHED U GUIZE]]
[[Category:DIALOGUE!]]
[[Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck]]
[[Category:Beings]]
[[Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT]]
[[Category:Trollpasta]]
{{Comments}}
| |||