Jack Apple and the Stalk: Difference between revisions
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{{NSFW}}
I'm Jack and I'm going to tell you the true reality about how I got rich. Everything was in color and my mother was a crack addict and she wanted me to sell our donkey for some crack or money from her local dealer down at the Hooders club alley. I told her that I didn't feel the need to do it and she slapped me with her big saggy titties and sent me flying to the kitchen. She got mad when "I" broke a few dishes and sent me on my way.
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I got into my room and tats when I saw my brother on the bed just looking at me and dangling his feet at the edge. I told him to gtfo and he ran out and slammed the door on his way. I wanted to kill that turn, but I decided to let it go and was hopeful that mom got drunk and it would give me enough time to explain the situation.
I got a big black box from under my bed and when I opened it a light from heaven shined at my face and I saw apples in many colors. I got the one that was on top of the rest and took a bite out of it. I put the box away and went into the living room and saw my brother sitting on the couch. When I looked at him I got this
I took a seat next to him and he turned wide eyed when he saw me eating the apple. He quickly told me that he hid the magic beans inside the apple. I stopped eating it and the only thing left was the bottom of the apple. I wanted to kill him at that moment because I thought if I would mash them and turn them into powder I could trick my mom.
I went outside 8 hours later in the afternoon at the lake and it was peaceful, until my brother came to me again. I was going to run after him and to try and drown him in the lake and that's when it hit me. The feeling and I thought it was just some random feeling, but this shit was real. I felt my insides and they started to burn. It must have been the beans, so I quickly went behind a bush and away from my brother. He doesn't know what privacy is and he went around the bush and saw me take a nice wet reflectiony shit.
I squatted there and he quickly started to laugh at my penis size and I didn't even know he knew about that kind of stuff. But he instantly stopped laughing and looked at it some more. He pointed to my dick and I laughed sarcastically at his reaction, but that's when I got the feeling again, but it was in my little Willy that time. I felt the last of the shit come out and I squatted there frozen stiff. I saw some vines and leaves sprouting out like a fucking cabbage pouch kid and it started to grow from the inside of my peepee. I thought it was a chiia pet growing shit, but it started to grow vines and my penis got bigger and bigger. MY BROTHER WASN'T LAUGHING THEN. The vines started to crawl there was out from my tip at a fast past and they landed to the ground like I had some long ass hairs growing from my dick, like Poison
I felt no pain, but I quickly embraced my brother and he started to scream, but I just kept on hugging him. I didn't want to look down at it and the feeling stopped as I felt my feet levitate from the ground while I saw my brother's feet moving viciously trying to find the ground. My brother looked down and ignored my ripped open dick and saw that we were being lifted up into the sky by large roots.
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When we were almost to the ground I felt panicky, but I knew I would be fine. The ground soon meets us and I blacked out with my brother and the snail in my positions.
I woke up and I felt my pants wet from the adventure and saw my mother and brother beside me while patting on my forehead with a wet cold washcloth. I heard voices of comfort beside me from my window and saw three people. One was fat and had a fat white haired woman in his arm while next to her there was a fit skinny man holding a can of green beans." I was all just a dream", I thought to myself and that everything was in black and white again and I was back in Kansas with my pet dog sleeping at my side. But that's when I felt
[[Category:Trollpasta]]▼
[[Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT]]
[[Category:Shrek]]
[[Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck]]
[[Category:Potty Humor]]
[[Category:Well, that was pointless.]]
▲[[Category:Trollpasta]]
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