Jeff Sends Letters to Santa: Difference between revisions
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==January 1st, 2011==
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I realize you are a busy man. It must be hard keeping track of all the kids who write to you each and every year. In fact, if I didn't know any better, I would say that such a task was ''impossible.'' But, as you have proven time and time again, you are perfectly capable of delivering presents to kids the world over ''in a single night.'' Obviously you know what you're doing.
So, tell me this, Santa: why is it that I haven't gotten any presents ''FOR THE PAST THREE YEARS?'' Is it because I killed my parents that one time? I don't see how that's such a big deal. Maybe it's the ten-thousand other people I've killed since then. Does that qualify me as "naughty"? If so, you could at least leave a lump of coal in my stocking so I could BASH YOUR SKULL IN WITH IT AND RIP OUT YOUR LUNGS AND LAUGH AS YOU
As you know, it is a new year, which means it's time for people to make their New Year's Resolutions! For my New Year's Resolution, I have decided to give up killing. No longer shall I make people "go to sleep" (so to speak). Rather, I shall wait for them to go to sleep by themselves before I STAB THEM AND DISMEMBER THEM AND SET THEM ON FIRE AND STAB THEM AGAIN AND WAIT, what was I talking about? Oh yes, no more Jeff the Killer. I swear to never kill again.
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FUCK EVERYTHING
==Aftermath==
Jeff gets eaten by a polar bear.
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