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[[File:Jeff the Killa|thumbJeffswaaag.gif|right|335px300px]]
Excerpt from a local Shitpaper:
OMINOUS UNKNOWN<br KILLER IS STILL AT LARGE./>
KILLER IS STILL<br />
AT LARGE.
After weekz of unexplained murders, tha ominous unknown killa is still on tha rise fo' realz. After lil evidence has been found, a lil' pimp states dat heda perved-out muthafucka survived one of tha killerz attacks n' bravely drops some lyrics ta his story.
"I had a funky-ass badwack trip n' I raised up up in tha middle of tha night," sayssay tha boy, "I saw dat fo' some reason tha window was open, even though I remember it bein closed before I went ta bed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I gots up n' shut it once mo' n' mo' n' mo' fo' realz. Afterwards, I simply crawled under mah covers n' tried ta git back ta chill. Thatz when I had a strange feeling, like someone muthafuckaof mah thugs was watchin mah dirty ass. I looked up, n' nearly jumped outta mah bed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! There, up in tha lil ray of light, illuminatin from between mah curtains, was a pair of two eyes. These weren't regular eyes; they was dark, ominous eyes. They was bordered up in black and... just plain up terrified mah dirty ass. Thatz when I saw his crazy-ass grill fo' realz. A long, horrendous smile dat done cooked upmade every last muthafuckin afro on mah body stand up. Da figure stood there, watchin mah dirty ass. Finally, afta what tha fuck seemed like forever, heda perved-out muthafucka holla'd it fo' realz. A simple phrase yo, but holla'd up in a way only a mad playa could speak.
"Dude holla'd, 'Go To Sleep know what I be sayin biatch, biatch?.' I let up a scream, thatz what tha fuck busted his ass atall mahup dirtyin assmah grill yo. Dude pulled up a knife; aimin at mah heartass yo. Dude jumped on top of mah bed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I fought his ass back; I kicked, I punchedsocked, I rolled around, tryin ta knock his ass off mah dirty ass. Thatz when mah daddaddy busted in. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Da playa threw tha knife, it went tha fuck into mah dadz shoulder n' shit. Da playa probably would've finished his ass off, if one of tha neighbors hadn't alerted tha five-opolice.
"They drove tha fuck into tha parkin lot, n' ran towardz tha door. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Da playa turned n' ran down tha hallway. I heard a smash, like glass breakin fo' realz. As I came outta mah room, I saw tha window dat was pointin towardz tha back of mah doggy den was broken. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I looked up it ta peep his ass vanish tha fuck into tha distizzledistance. I can rap one thang, I willaint NEVER nevergonna forget dat face. Those cold, evil eyes, n' dat psychotic smile. They willaint NEVER nevergonna leave mah head."
Popo is still on tha look fo' dis man. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. If you peep everymah last muthafuckin muthafuckaplayas dat fits tha description up in dis story, please contact yo' local five-o department.
Jeff n' his wild lil' gangcrew had just moved tha fuck into a freshly smoked up hood. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka ! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! His daddaddy had gotten a promotion at work, n' they thought it would be dopest ta live up in one of emdem "fancy" hoods. Jeff n' his brutha Liu couldn't diss though cause I gots dem finger-lickin' chickens wit tha siz-auce fo' realz. A new, mo' betta house. What was not ta love, biatch? As they was gettin unpacked, one of they neighbors came by. ▼
" Yo muthafuckaHello," her big-ass booty holla'd, "I be Barbara; I live across tha street from yo thugged-out ass. Well, I just wanted ta introduce mah self n' ta introduce mah son." Biatch turns aroundround n' calls her lil hustla over n' shit. "Bizzley, these is our freshly smoked up neighbors." Bizzley holla'd hi n' ran back ta play up in his yard. ▼▲Jeff n' his wild lil' gang had just moved tha fuck into a freshly smoked up hood. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! His dad had gotten a promotion at work, n' they thought it would be dopest ta live up in one of em "fancy" hoods. Jeff n' his brutha Liu couldn't diss though fo' realz. A new, mo' betta house. What was not ta love, biatch? As they was gettin unpacked, one of they neighbors came by.
"Well," holla'd Jeffz mom, "I be Margaret, n' dis is mah homeboy Peter, n' mah two sons, Jeff n' Liu." They each introduced themselvestheyselves, n' then Barbara invited emdem ta her sonz birthday. It make me wanna hollar playa! Jeff n' his brutha was bout ta object, when they mutha holla'd dat they would ludd to. When Jeff n' his wild lil' gangcrew is done packing, Jeff went up ta his crazy-ass momma. ▼▲"Yo muthafucka," her ass holla'd, "I be Barbara; I live across tha street from yo thugged-out ass. Well, I just wanted ta introduce mah self n' ta introduce mah son." Biatch turns around n' calls her lil hustla over. "Bizzley, these is our freshly smoked up neighbors." Bizzley holla'd hi n' ran back ta play up in his yard.
"Mom, why would you invite our asses ta some kidz party, biatch? If you haven'taint noticed, I be notaint some dumb kid." ▼▲"Well," holla'd Jeffz mom, "I be Margaret, n' dis is mah homeboy Peter, n' mah two sons, Jeff n' Liu." They each introduced themselves, n' then Barbara invited em ta her sonz birthday. Jeff n' his brutha was bout ta object, when they mutha holla'd dat they would ludd to. When Jeff n' his wild lil' gang is done packing, Jeff went up ta his crazy-ass momma.
"Jeff," holla'd his crazy-ass muthamother, " OurUs thugged-out assesplayas just moved here; our crazy-ass asseswe should sheezyshow dat our crazy-ass asseswe wanna spend time wit our neighbors. Now, we 're goin ta dat party, n' thatz final." Jeff started ta rap yo, but stopped his dirty ass, knowin dat hehis schmoooove ass couldn't do anythanganything. Whenever his crazy-ass momma holla'd somethangsomething, itdat shiznit was final . It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack yo. Dude strutted up ta his bangin room n' plopped down on his bed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude sat there lookin at his ceilin when suddenly, he gots a weird feeling. Not so much a pain yo, but... a weird feelin yo. Dude dissed n' dismissed it as just some random feelin yo. Dude heard his crazy-ass mutha call his ass down ta git his stuff, n' heda thug strutted down ta git dat shit. ▼▲"Mom, why would you invite our asses ta some kidz party, biatch? If you haven't noticed, I be not some dumb kid."
Da next day, Jeff strutted down stairs ta git breakfast n' gots locked n loaded fo' school fo' realz. As heda perved-out muthafucka sat there, smokin his breakfast, he once again n' again n' again gots dat feeling. This time itdat shiznit was stronger n' shit. ItWell shiiiit, it gave his ass a slight tuggin pain yo, but he once again n' again n' again dissed n' dismissed it fo' realz. As he n' Liu finished breakfast, they strutted down ta tha bus stop. They sat there waitin fo' tha bus, n' then, all of a sudden, some kid on a skateboard jumped over them, only inches above they laps. They both jumped back up in surprise. "Yo, what tha fuck tha hell?" ▼▲"Jeff," holla'd his crazy-ass mutha, "Our thugged-out asses just moved here; our crazy-ass asses should sheezy dat our crazy-ass asses wanna spend time wit our neighbors. Now, we're goin ta dat party, n' thatz final." Jeff started ta rap yo, but stopped his dirty ass, knowin dat he couldn't do anythang. Whenever his crazy-ass momma holla'd somethang, it was final yo. Dude strutted up ta his bangin room n' plopped down on his bed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude sat there lookin at his ceilin when suddenly, he gots a weird feeling. Not so much a pain yo, but... a weird feelin yo. Dude dismissed it as just some random feelin yo. Dude heard his crazy-ass mutha call his ass down ta git his stuff, n' he strutted down ta git dat shit.
Da kid landed n' turned back ta em yo. Dude kicked his skate board up n' caught it wit his hands. Da kid seems ta be bout twelve; one year lil'eryounger than Jeff yo. Dude wears a Aeropostale hoodie n' ripped blue jeans. ▼▲Da next day, Jeff strutted down stairs ta git breakfast n' gots locked n loaded fo' school fo' realz. As he sat there, smokin his breakfast, he once again gots dat feeling. This time it was stronger. It gave his ass a slight tuggin pain yo, but he once again dismissed it fo' realz. As he n' Liu finished breakfast, they strutted down ta tha bus stop. They sat there waitin fo' tha bus, n' then, all of a sudden, some kid on a skateboard jumped over them, only inches above they laps. They both jumped back up in surprise. "Yo, what tha fuck tha hell?"
"Well, well, well. ItWell looksshiiiit, likeit ourbe crazy-asslookin like asseswe gots some freshly smoked up meat." Suddenly, two other lil playas rocked up. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! One was supa skinny n' tha other was huge. "Well, since yo ass isyou freshly smoked up here, I'd like ta introduce ourselves, over there is Keith." Jeff n' Liu looked over ta tha skinny kid. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude had a thugged-out dopey grill dat you would expect a sidekick ta have. "And he be straight Troy." They looked over all up in tha fat kid. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Talk on some tub of lard. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! This kid looked like hedat schmoooove muthafucka hadn't exercised since heda thug was crawling. ▼▲Da kid landed n' turned back ta em yo. Dude kicked his skate board up n' caught it wit his hands. Da kid seems ta be bout twelve; one year lil'er than Jeff yo. Dude wears a Aeropostale hoodie n' ripped blue jeans.
"And I," holla'd tha straight-up original gangsta kid, "am Randy. Now, fo' all tha lil playas up in dis hood there be a lil' small-ass price fo' bus fare, if you catch mah drift." Liu stood up, locked n loaded ta punch tha lights outta tha kidz eyes when one of his wild lil' playaz pulled a knife on his muthafuckin ass. "Tsk, tsk, tsk, I had hoped you would be mo' cooperatizzle yo, but it seems our crazy-ass asseswe must do dis tha hard way." Da kid strutted up ta Liu n' took his wallet outta his thugged-out lil' pocket. Jeff gots dat feelin again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Now, itdat shiznit was truly strong; a funky-ass burnin sensation. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. Dude stood up yo, but Liu gestured his ass ta sit tha fuck down. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Jeff ignored his ass n' strutted up ta tha kid. ▼▲"Well, well, well. It looks like our crazy-ass asses gots some freshly smoked up meat." Suddenly, two other lil playas rocked up. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! One was supa skinny n' tha other was huge. "Well, since yo ass is freshly smoked up here, I'd like ta introduce ourselves, over there is Keith." Jeff n' Liu looked over ta tha skinny kid. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude had a thugged-out dopey grill dat you would expect a sidekick ta have. "And he be straight Troy." They looked over all up in tha fat kid. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Talk on some tub of lard. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! This kid looked like he hadn't exercised since he was crawling.
"Listen here you lil punk, give back mah broz wallet andor else." Randy put tha wallet up in his thugged-out lil' pocket n' pulled up his own knife. ▼▲"And I," holla'd tha straight-up original gangsta kid, "am Randy. Now, fo' all tha lil playas up in dis hood there be a lil' small-ass price fo' bus fare, if you catch mah drift." Liu stood up, locked n loaded ta punch tha lights outta tha kidz eyes when one of his wild lil' playaz pulled a knife on his muthafuckin ass. "Tsk, tsk, tsk, I had hoped you would be mo' cooperatizzle yo, but it seems our crazy-ass asses must do dis tha hard way." Da kid strutted up ta Liu n' took his wallet outta his thugged-out lil' pocket. Jeff gots dat feelin again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Now, it was truly strong; a funky-ass burnin sensation. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. Dude stood up yo, but Liu gestured his ass ta sit down. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Jeff ignored his ass n' strutted up ta tha kid.
"Oh, biatch? And what tha fuck will you do?" Just as he finished tha sentence, Jeff popped tha kid up in tha nozzle fo' realz. As Randy reached fo' his wild lil' face, Jeff grabbed tha kidz wrist n' broke dat shit. Randy screamed n' Jeff grabbed tha knife from his hand. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Troy n' Keith rushed Jeff yo, but Jeff was too quick yo. Dude threw Randy ta tha ground. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Keith lashed up at his ass yo, but Jeff ducked n' stabbedjabbed his ass up in tha arm. Keith dropped his knife n' fell tha fuck ta tha ground screaming. Troy rushdrushed his ass too yo, but Jeff didn't even need tha knife yo. Dude just punchedsocked Troy straight up in tha stomach n' Troy went down. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch fo' realz. As he fell, he puked all over n' shit. Liu could do not a god damn thang but look up in amazement at Jeff. ▼▲"Listen here you lil punk, give back mah broz wallet and else." Randy put tha wallet up in his thugged-out lil' pocket n' pulled up his own knife.
"Jeff how'd yo slick ass?" dat was all heda perved-out muthafucka holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! They saw tha bus comin n' knew they'd be blamed fo' tha whole thang. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So they started hustlin as fast as they could. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! As they ran, they looked back n' saw tha bus driver rushin over ta Randy n' tha others fo' realz. As Jeff n' Liu juiced it up ta school, they didn't dare tell what tha fuck happened. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! All they did was sit n' listen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Liu just thought of dat as his brutha beatinwhoopin up a gangbangin'all fewdem lil playas yo, but Jeff knew itdat shiznit was mo' . Putn' yomo' muthafuckinn' choppersmo'. upDat if ya feel this!Itshiznit was somethangsomething, scaryfreaky fo' realz. As he gots dat feelin he felt how tha fuck bangin it was, tha urge ta just, hurt someone muthafuckaof mah thugs yo. Dude didn't like how tha fuck it sounded yo, but hehis schmoooove ass couldn't help feelin aiiighthorny yo. Dude felt dat strange feelin go away, n' stay away fo' tha entire dizzle of school. Even as heda thug strutted home cuz of tha whole muthafuckin thang near tha bus stop, n' how tha fuck now he probably wouldn't be takin tha bus anymoreno mo', he felt aiiighthorny. When he gots home his thugged-out lil' muthafathas axed his ass how tha fuck his fuckin lil' dizzle was, n' heda perved-out muthafucka holla'd, up in a somewhat ominous voice, " ItDat shiznit was a straight-up dope day." Next morning, hedat schmoooove muthafucka heard a knock at his wild lil' front door yo. Dude strutted down ta find two five-o officersfools all up in tha door, his crazy-ass mutha lookin back at his ass wit a supamad pissedsalty look. ▼▲"Oh, biatch? And what tha fuck will you do?" Just as he finished tha sentence, Jeff popped tha kid up in tha nozzle fo' realz. As Randy reached fo' his wild lil' face, Jeff grabbed tha kidz wrist n' broke dat shit. Randy screamed n' Jeff grabbed tha knife from his hand. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Troy n' Keith rushed Jeff yo, but Jeff was too quick yo. Dude threw Randy ta tha ground. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Keith lashed up at his ass yo, but Jeff ducked n' stabbed his ass up in tha arm. Keith dropped his knife n' fell ta tha ground screaming. Troy rushd his ass too yo, but Jeff didn't even need tha knife yo. Dude just punched Troy straight up in tha stomach n' Troy went down. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch fo' realz. As he fell, he puked all over. Liu could do not a god damn thang but look up in amazement at Jeff.
"Jeff, these officersfools tell mah crazy assme dat you beat down three kids. That it wasn't regular fighting, n' dat they was stabbedjabbed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Stabbed, son!" Jeffz gaze fell tha fuck ta tha floor, showin his crazy-ass mutha dat itdat shiznit was true. ▼▲"Jeff how'd yo slick ass?" dat was all he holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! They saw tha bus comin n' knew they'd be blamed fo' tha whole thang. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So they started hustlin as fast as they could. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! As they ran, they looked back n' saw tha bus driver rushin over ta Randy n' tha others fo' realz. As Jeff n' Liu juiced it up ta school, they didn't dare tell what tha fuck happened. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! All they did was sit n' listen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Liu just thought of dat as his brutha beatin up a gangbangin' few lil playas yo, but Jeff knew it was mo'. Put yo muthafuckin choppers up if ya feel this!It was somethang, scary fo' realz. As he gots dat feelin he felt how tha fuck bangin it was, tha urge ta just, hurt some muthafucka yo. Dude didn't like how tha fuck it sounded yo, but he couldn't help feelin aiiight yo. Dude felt dat strange feelin go away, n' stay away fo' tha entire dizzle of school. Even as he strutted home cuz of tha whole muthafuckin thang near tha bus stop, n' how tha fuck now he probably wouldn't be takin tha bus anymore, he felt aiiight. When he gots home his thugged-out lil' muthafathas axed his ass how tha fuck his fuckin lil' dizzle was, n' he holla'd, up in a somewhat ominous voice, "It was a straight-up dope day." Next morning, he heard a knock at his wild lil' front door yo. Dude strutted down ta find two five-o officers all up in tha door, his crazy-ass mutha lookin back at his ass wit a supa pissed look.
"Mom, they was tha ones whoz ass pulled tha knives on mah crazy assme n' Liu." ▼▲"Jeff, these officers tell mah crazy ass dat you beat down three kids. That it wasn't regular fighting, n' dat they was stabbed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Stabbed, son!" Jeffz gaze fell ta tha floor, showin his crazy-ass mutha dat it was true.
"Son," holla'd one of tha cops," Our thugged-out assesWe found three kids, two stabbedjabbed, one havin a funky-ass bruise on his stomach, n' our crazy -ass asses have witnesses provin dat you fled tha scene. Now, what tha fuck do dat tell us?" Jeff knew itdat shiznit was no use yo. Dude could say his ass n' Liu had been beat down yo, but then there was no proof itdat shiznit was not emdem whoz ass beat down first. They couldn't say dat they weren't fleeing, cuz truth be bustedholla'd some lyrics taat they were , so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So Jeff couldn't defend his dirty ass andor Liu. ▼▲"Mom, they was tha ones whoz ass pulled tha knives on mah crazy ass n' Liu."
"Son, call down yo' bruthabrother." Jeff couldn't do it, since itdat shiznit was his ass whoz ass beat up all tha kids. ▼▲"Son," holla'd one of tha cops," Our thugged-out asses found three kids, two stabbed, one havin a funky-ass bruise on his stomach, n' our crazy-ass asses have witnesses provin dat you fled tha scene. Now, what tha fuck do dat tell us?" Jeff knew it was no use yo. Dude could say his ass n' Liu had been beat down yo, but then there was no proof it was not em whoz ass beat down first. They couldn't say dat they weren't fleeing, cuz truth be busted some lyrics ta they were. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So Jeff couldn't defend his dirty ass and Liu.
"Sir, dat shit...it was mah dirty ass. I was tha one whoz ass beat up tha kids. Liu tried ta hold mah crazy ass back yo, but hehis schmoooove ass couldn't quitstop mah dirty ass." Da cop looked at his thugged-out lil' partner n' they both nod. ▼▲"Son, call down yo' brutha." Jeff couldn't do it, since it was his ass whoz ass beat up all tha kids.
"Well kid, looksbe lookin like a year up in Juvy..." ▼▲"Sir, dat shit...it was mah dirty ass. I was tha one whoz ass beat up tha kids. Liu tried ta hold mah crazy ass back yo, but he couldn't quit mah dirty ass." Da cop looked at his thugged-out lil' partner n' they both nod.
"Wait!" sayssay Liu fo'sho. They all looked up ta peep his ass holdin a knife. Da officersfools pulled they glocks n' locked emdem on Liu. ▼▲"Well kid, looks like a year up in Juvy..."
"Dat shiznit was me, I beat up dem lil punks yo. Have tha marks ta prove dat shit." Dude lifted up his sleeves ta reveal cuts n' bruises, as if da thug was up in a struggle.
▲"Wait!" says Liu fo'sho. They all looked up ta peep his ass holdin a knife. Da officers pulled they glocks n' locked em on Liu.
"ItSon, wasjust meput tha knife down," holla'd tha fool. ILiu beatheld up emtha lilknife punksn' yo.dropped Haveit ta tha marksground. taY'all proveKNOW dat shit.", muthafucka! Dude lifted upput his sleeveshandz ta reveal cutsup n' bruises,strutted asover ifta he was up in atha strugglecops.
"No Liu, itdat shiznit was me , muthafuckabiaaatch! I did itdat shiznit son!" Jeff had tears hustlin down his wild lil' face. ▼"Son, just put tha knife down," holla'd tha officer. Liu held up tha knife n' dropped it ta tha ground. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude put his handz up n' strutted over ta tha cops.
"Huh, skanky bro. Tryin ta take tha blame fo' what tha fuck I done did. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Well, take mah crazy assme away." Da five-o ledhustled Liu up ta tha patrol car. ▼▲"No Liu, it was me, muthafucka! I did it!" Jeff had tears hustlin down his wild lil' face.
"Liu, tell emdem itdat shiznit was me , muthafuckabiaaatch! Tell them , muthafucka! I was tha one whoz ass beat up emdem kids!" Jeffz mutha put her handz on his shoulders. ▼▲"Huh, skanky bro. Tryin ta take tha blame fo' what tha fuck I did. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Well, take mah crazy ass away." Da five-o led Liu up ta tha patrol car.
"Jeff please, you aintdon't gots tagotta lie. Our thugged-out assesWe know itz Liu, you can stop." Jeff watchedpeeped helplessly as tha cop hoopty speedz off wit Liu inside fo' realz. A few minutes later Jeffz daddaddy pulled tha fuck into tha driveway, seein Jeffz grill n' knowin somethangsuttin' was wrong. ▼▲"Liu, tell em it was me, muthafucka! Tell them, muthafucka! I was tha one whoz ass beat up em kids!" Jeffz mutha put her handz on his shoulders.
"Son, lil hustla what tha fuck is it?" Jeff couldn't answer n' shiznit yo. His vocal cordz was strained from bustin up. Instead, Jeffz mutha strutted his wild lil' daddy inside ta break tha badwack shizzle ta his ass as Jeff wept up in tha driveway fo' realz. After a hourminute andor so Jeff strutted back up in ta tha house, seein dat his thugged-out lil' muthafathas was both shocked, sad, n' pissed tha fuck off. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! This type'a shiznit happens all tha time yo. Dude couldn't peep em yo. Dude couldn't peep how tha fuck they thought of Liu when itdat shiznit was his wild lil' fault yo. Dude just went ta chill, tryin ta git tha whole muthafuckin thang off his crazy-ass mind. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Two daysminutes went by, wit no word from Liu at JDC. No playaz ta ride with. Nothang but sadnizz n' guilt. That is until Saturday, when Jeff is raised up by his crazy-ass muthamother, wit a aiiighthappy, sunshiny face. ▼▲"Jeff please, you aint gots ta lie. Our thugged-out asses know itz Liu, you can stop." Jeff watched helplessly as tha cop hoopty speedz off wit Liu inside fo' realz. A few minutes later Jeffz dad pulled tha fuck into tha driveway, seein Jeffz grill n' knowin somethang was wrong.
"Jeff, itz tha day." her big-ass booty holla'd as her assshe opened up tha curtains n' let light flood tha fuck into his bangin room. ▼▲"Son, lil hustla what tha fuck is it?" Jeff couldn't answer yo. His vocal cordz was strained from bustin up. Instead, Jeffz mutha strutted his wild lil' daddy inside ta break tha bad shizzle ta his ass as Jeff wept up in tha driveway fo' realz. After a hour and so Jeff strutted back up in ta tha house, seein dat his thugged-out lil' muthafathas was both shocked, sad, n' pissed tha fuck off. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude couldn't peep em yo. Dude couldn't peep how tha fuck they thought of Liu when it was his wild lil' fault yo. Dude just went ta chill, tryin ta git tha whole muthafuckin thang off his crazy-ass mind. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Two days went by, wit no word from Liu at JDC. No playaz ta ride with. Nothang but sadnizz n' guilt. That is until Saturday, when Jeff is raised up by his crazy-ass mutha, wit a aiiight, sunshiny face.
"What, whatz todizzle?" axed Jeff as heda perved-out muthafucka stirs awake. ▼▲"Jeff, itz tha day." her ass holla'd as her ass opened up tha curtains n' let light flood tha fuck into his bangin room.
▲"What, whatz todizzle?" axed Jeff as he stirs awake.
"Why, itz Bizzleyz party." Dude was now straight-up awake.
"Mom, yo ass isyou clownin, right, biatch? Yo ass don't expect mahme crazyta assgit taall goup tain some kidz jam after..." There was a long-ass pause.
"Jeff, our crazy-ass asseswe both know what tha fuck happened. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be thinkin dis jam could be tha muthafuckin thang dat brightens up tha past days. Now, git dressed." Jeffz mutha strutted outta tha room n' downstairs ta git locked n loaded her muthafuckin ass yo. Dude fought his dirty ass ta git up yo. Dude picked up a random hoodie n' pair of jeans n' strutted down stairs yo. Dude saw his crazy-ass mutha n' daddy all dressed up; his crazy-ass mutha up in a thugged-out dress n' his wild lil' daddy up in a suit yo. Dude thought, why they would eva wear such fancy threadz ta a kidz party?
"Son, is dat all yo' goin ta wear?" holla'd Jeffz momma.
"Better than bustin too much." heda perved-out muthafucka holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! His mutha pushed down tha feelin ta yell at his ass n' hid it wit a smile.
"Now Jeff, our crazy-ass asseswe may be over-dressed yo, but dis is how tha fuck you go if you wanna makecook up a impression." holla'd his wild lil' fatherdaddy n' shit. Jeff grunted n' went back up ta his bangin room.
"I aint gots any fancy clothes!" he yelled down stairs.
"Just pick up somethangsomething." called his crazy-ass mutha n' shiznit yo. Dude looked aroundround up in his closet fo' what tha fuck heda thug would call fancy yo. Dude found a pair of black dress baggy-ass pants hedat schmoooove muthafucka had fo' special occasions n' a undershirt yo. Dude couldn't find a hoodie ta go wit it though cause I gots dem finger-lickin' chickens wit tha siz-auce yo. Dude looked around, n' found only striped n' patterned shirts, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. None of which go wit dress pants, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. Finally he found a white hoodie n' put it on.
"You'reYo ass is bustin that?" they both holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! His mutha looked at her watch. "Oh, no time ta chizzle. Letz just go." Biatch holla'd as herdat assfreaky freaky biatch herded Jeff n' his wild lil' daddy up tha door. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. They crossed tha street over ta Barbara n' Bizzleyz house. They knocked on tha door n' at it rocked up dat Barbara, just like his thugged-out lil' muthafathas, way over-dressed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! As they strutted inside all Jeff could peep was adults, no kids.
"Da lil playas is up up in tha yard. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Jeff, how tha fuck bout you go n' hook up a shitload of them?" holla'd Barbara.
Jeff strutted outside ta a yard full of kids. They was hustlin aroundround up in weird cowboy costumes n' shootinblastin each other wit plastic glocks yo. Dude might as well be standin up in a Toys R Us. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Suddenly a kid came up ta his ass n' handed his ass a toy glock n' hat.
"Hey. Wanna pway?" heda perved-out muthafucka holla'd.
"Ah, no kid. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be way too oldschool fo' dis stuff." Da kid looked at his ass wit dat weird puppydog face.
"Pwease?" holla'd tha kid. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Fine," holla'd Jeff yo. Dude put on tha basebizzle cap n' started ta pretend blast all up in tha lil playas fo' realz. At first hetha pimpin' muthafucka thought itdat shiznit was straight-up ridiculous yo, but then heda perved-out muthafucka started ta muthafuckinstraight-up have fun. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. ItWell shiiiit, it might not done been supa def yo, but itdat shiznit was tha straight-uplast originaltime gangstadat timeschmoooove hemuthafucka had done somethangsuttin' dat took his crazy-ass mind off of Liu fo'sho. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So he played wit tha lil playas fo' a while, until hedat schmoooove muthafucka heard a noise fo' realz. A weird rollin noise. Then it hit his muthafuckin ass. Randy, Troy, n' Keith all jumped over tha fence on they skateboards. Jeff dropped tha fake glock n' ripped off tha hat. Randy looked at Jeff wit a funky-ass burnin hatred.
"Yo muthafucka, Jeff, is it?" heda perved-out muthafucka holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Our thugged-out asses have some unfinished bidnizz." Jeff saw his bruised nose." I be thinkin we're even. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I beat tha crap outta you, n' you git mah brutha busted ta JDC."
Randy gots a supamad pissedsalty look up in his wild lil' fuckin eyes. "Oh noshiiiiiiiit, I don't go fo' even, I go fo' ballinwinning. Yo ass may have kicked our asses dat one dizzle yo, but not todizzle." As heda perved-out muthafucka holla'd dat Randy rushed at Jeff. They both fell tha fuck ta tha ground. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Randy punchedsocked Jeff up in tha nose, n' Jeff grabbed his ass by tha ears n' head butted his muthafuckin ass. Jeff pushed Randy off of his ass n' both rose ta they feetNikes. Kidz was beatboxin n' muthafathas was hustlin outta tha house. Troy n' Keith both pulled glocks outta they pockets.
"No one interrupts andor guts will fly!" they holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Randy pulled a knife on Jeff n' stabbedjabbed it tha fuck into his shoulder.
Jeff screamed n' fell tha fuck ta his knees. Randy started kickin his ass up in tha grill fo' realz. After three kicks Jeff grabs his wild lil' foot n' twists it, causin Randy ta fall ta tha ground. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Jeff stood up n' strutted towardz tha back door. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Troy grabbed his muthafuckin ass.
"Need some help?" Dude picks Jeff up by tha back of tha collar n' throws his ass all up in tha patio door fo' realz. As Jeff tries ta stand he is kicked down ta tha ground. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Randy repeatedly starts kickin Jeff, until heda perved-out muthafucka starts ta cough up blood.
"Come on Jeff, fight me!" Dude picks Jeff up n' throws his ass tha fuck into tha kitchen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Randy sees a funky-ass forty of vodka on tha counter n' smashes tha glass over Jeffz head.
"Fight!" Dude throws Jeff back tha fuck into tha livin room.
"Come on Jeff, peep me!" Jeff glizzlezglances up, his wild lil' grill riddled wit blood. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! "I was tha one whoz ass gots yo' brutha busted ta JDC, muthafucka! And now yo ass isyou just gonna sit here n' let his ass rot up in there fo' a whole year, muthafuckaplaya! Yo ass should be ashamed!" Jeff starts ta git up.
"Oh, finally, muthafuckadawwwwg! you stand n' fight!" Jeff is now ta his wild lil' feet, blood n' vodka on his wild lil' face. Once again n' again n' again he gets dat strange feeling, tha one up in which hedat aintschmoooove muthafuckinmuthafucka aint felt fo' a while. "Finally yo. DudeDat straightpunk up!" sayssay Randy as he runs at Jeff. Thatz when it happens. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Somethang inside Jeff snaps yo. His psyche is destroyed, all rationizzle thankin is gone, all hehis schmoooove ass can do, is bust a cap up in yo. Dude grabs Randy n' pile drives his ass ta tha ground. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude gets on top of his ass n' punches his ass straight up in tha heartass. Da punch causes Randyz heartass ta quitstop fo' realz. As Randy gasps fo' breath. Jeff hammers down on his muthafuckin ass. Punch afta punch, blood gushes from Randyz body, until hetha pimpin' muthafucka takes one final breath, n' dies.
Everyone is lookin at Jeff now, nahmeean, biatch? Da muthafathas, tha bustin up like a biatch kids, even Troy n' Keith fo' realz. Although they easily break from they gaze n' point they glocks at Jeff. Jeff seez tha glocks trained on his ass n' runs fo' tha stairs fo' realz. As he runs Troy n' Keith let up fire on him, each blasted missing. Jeff runs up tha stairs yo. Dude hears Troy n' Keith follow up behind. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! As they let up they final roundz of bullets Jeff ducks tha fuck into tha bathroom yo. Dude grabs tha towel rack n' rips it off tha wall. Troy n' Keith race in, knives ready.
Troy swings his knife at Jeff, whoz ass backs away n' bangs tha towel rack tha fuck into Troyz face. Troy goes down hard n' now all thatz left is Keith yo. Dude is mo' agile than Troy though, n' ducks when Jeff swings tha towel rack yo. Dude dropped tha knife n' grabbed Jeff by tha neck yo. Dude pushed his ass tha fuck into tha wall fo' realz. A muthafuckin thang of bleach fell tha fuck down on top of his ass from tha top shelf. ItWell shiiiit, it burnt both of emdem n' they both started ta scream. Jeff wiped his wild lil' fuckin eyes as dopest as hehis schmoooove ass could. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude pulled back tha towel rack n' swung it straight tha fuck into Keithz head. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! As he lay there, bleedin ta dirtnap, he let up a ominous smile.
"Whatz so funnyfunky?" axed Jeff. Keith pulled up a lighter n' switched it on. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. "Whatz funnyfunky," heda perved-out muthafucka holla'd, "Is dat yo ass isyou covered up in bleach n' brewalcohol." Jeffz eyes widened as Keith threw tha lighter at his muthafuckin ass fo' realz. As soon as tha flame done cooked upmade contact wit him, tha flames ignited tha brew up in tha vodka. While tha brew burned him, tha bleach bleached his skin. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Jeff let up a terribleshitty screech as hehis schmoooove ass caught on fire yo. Dude tried ta roll up tha fire but itdat shiznit was no use, tha brew had done cooked upmade his ass a struttin inferno yo. Dude ran down tha hall, n' fell tha fuck down tha stairs. All Y'all started beatboxin as they saw Jeff, now a playa on fire, drop ta tha ground, nearly dead as fuckin fried chicken. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Da last muthafuckin thang Jeff saw was his crazy-ass mutha n' tha other muthafathas tryin ta extinguish tha flame. Thatz when he passed out.
When Jeff woke hedat schmoooove muthafucka had a cold-ass lil cast wrapped aroundround his wild lil' grill yo. Dude couldn't peep anythang yo, but he felt a cold-ass lil cast on his shoulder, n' stitches all over his body yo. Dude tried ta stand up yo, but he realized dat there was some tube up in his thugged-out arm, n' when hetha pimpin' muthafucka tried ta git up it fell tha fuck out, n' a nurse rushed in.
"I don't be thinkin you can git outta bed just yet." her big-ass booty holla'd as her assshe put his ass back up in his bed n' re-inserted tha tube. Jeff sat there, wit no vision, no ideaclue of what tha fuck his surroundings were, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Finally, afta hours, hedat schmoooove muthafucka heard his crazy-ass muthamother.
"Honey, is you aiiight?" hershe ass axedasked. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Jeff couldn't answer though, his wild lil' grill was covered, n' heda thug was unable ta speak. "Oh honey, I have pimped out shizzle fo' realz. After all tha witnesses bustedholla'd someall lyricsup tain tha five-o dat Randy confessed of tryin ta battle you, they decided ta let Liu go." This done cooked upmade Jeff almost bolt up, stoppin halfway, rememberin tha tube comin outta his thugged-out arm. "Dude bout ta be up by tomorrow, n' then you two is ghon be able ta be together again."
Jeffz mutha hugs Jeff n' sayssay her phatbyespeace outs, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. Da next couple weeks was emdem where Jeff was hit up by his wild lil' familycrew. Then came tha dizzle where his bandages was ta be removed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! His gangcrew was all there ta peep it, what tha fuck heda thug would look like fo' realz. As tha doctors unwrapped tha bandages from Jeffz grill everyonemah playas was on tha edge of they seats, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. They waited until tha last bandage holdin tha cover over his wild lil' grill was almost removed.
"Letz hope fo' tha best," holla'd tha doctor yo. Dude quickly pulls tha cloth; lettin tha rest fall from Jeffz face.
Jeffz mutha screams all up in tha sight of his wild lil' face. Liu n' Jeffz daddaddy stare awe-struck at his wild lil' face.
"What, biatch? What happened ta mah face?" Jeff holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude rushed outta bed n' ran ta tha bathroom yo. Dude looked up in tha mirror n' saw tha cause of tha distress yo. His face. It... itz horrible yo. His lips was burnt ta a thugged-out deep shade of red. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! His grill was turned tha fuck into a pure white color, n' his afro singed from brown ta black yo. Dude slowly put his hand ta his wild lil' face. ItWell shiiiit, it had a sort of leathery feel ta it now yo. Dude looked back at his wild lil' gangcrew then back all up in tha mirror.
"Jeff," holla'd Liu, "It aint nuthin but not dat bad...."
"Not dat bad?" holla'd Jeff," It aint nuthin but perfect!" His gangcrew was equally surprised. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Jeff started bustin up uncontrollably His muthafathas noticed dat his fuckin left eye n' hand was twitching.
"Uh... Jeff, is you aiiight?"
"Okay, biatch? I've never felt mo' aiiight, muthafuckadawwwwg! Ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaa, peeplook mahall dirtyup assin mah face. This grill goes perfectly wit me!" Dude couldn't quitstop bustin up yo. Dude stroked his wild lil' grill feelin dat shit. Lookin at it up in tha mirror. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. What caused this, biatch? Well, you may recall dat when Jeff was fightin Randy somethangsuttin' up in his crazy-ass mind, his sanity, snapped. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Now heda thug was left as a cold-ass lil crazywild-ass cappin' machine, dat is, his thugged-out lil' muthafathas didn't give a fuck.
"Doctor," holla'd Jeffz mom, "Is mah son... aiiiight, you know, nahmeean, biatch?. In tha head?"
"Oh yesfo'sho, dis behavior is typical fo' patients dat have taken straight-up big-ass amountz of pain killazkillers. If his behavior don't chizzle up in a gangbangin'all fewdem weeks, brang his ass back here, n' we'll give his ass a psychologicalpsychedelic test."
"Oh fuck you doctor." Jeffz mutha went over ta Jeff." Jeff, sweetydopey. It aint nuthin but time ta gobounce tha fuck out."
Jeff looks away from tha mirror, his wild lil' grill still formed tha fuck into a cold-ass lil crazywild-ass smile. "Kay mommy, ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaa!" his crazy-ass mutha took his ass by tha shoulder n' took his ass ta git his clothes.
"This is what tha fuck came in," holla'd tha lady all up in tha desk. Jeffz momma looked down ta peep tha black dress baggy-ass pants n' white hoodie her lil hustla wore. Now they was clean of blood n' now stitched together n' shit. Jeffz mutha ledhustled his ass ta his bangin room n' done cooked upmade his ass put his threadz on. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Then they left, not knowin dat dis was they final dizzle of lifegame.
Later dat night, Jeffz mutha woke ta a sound comin from tha bathroom. ItWell shiiiit, it sounded as if someone of mah muthafuckathugs was bustin up. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch slowly strutted over ta peep what tha fuck it was. When her assshe looked tha fuck into tha bathroom her big-ass booty saw a horrendous sight. Jeff had taken a knife n' carved a smile tha fuck into his cheeks.
"Jeff, what tha fuck is you bustin?" axed his crazy-ass muthamother.
Jeff looked over ta his crazy-ass mutha n' shit. "I couldn't keep smilin mommy. ItWell shiiiit, it hurt afta awhile. Now, I can smile forever n' shit. Jeffz mutha noticed his wild lil' fuckin eyes, ringed up in black.
"Jeff, yo' eyes!" His eyes was seemingly never closing.
"I couldn't peep mah face. I gots chillaxed n' mah eyes started ta close. I burned up tha eyelidz so I could forever peep mah dirty ass; mah freshly smoked up face." Jeffz mutha slowly started ta back away, seein dat her lil hustla was goin insane. "Whatz wrongwack mommy, biatch? Aren't I dope?
"Yes yes y'all, son," her big-ass booty holla'd, "Yes yes y'all, yo ass is. L-let mah crazy assme go git daddy, so hehis schmoooove ass can peep yo' face." Biatch ran tha fuck into tha room n' shook Jeffz daddaddy from his chill. "Honey, git tha glock we ....." Biatch stopped as her big-ass booty saw Jeff up in tha doorway, holdin a knife. ▼
"Mommy, you lied." Thatz tha last muthafuckin thang they hear as Jeff rushes emdem wit tha knife, guttin both of themem. ▼▲"Yes son," her ass holla'd, "Yes yo ass is. L-let mah crazy ass go git daddy, so he can peep yo' face." Biatch ran tha fuck into tha room n' shook Jeffz dad from his chill. "Honey, git tha glock we....." Biatch stopped as her ass saw Jeff up in tha doorway, holdin a knife.
His brutha Liu woke up, startled by some noise yo. Dude didn't hear anythang else, so he just shut his wild lil' fuckin eyes n' tried ta go back ta chill fo' realz. As heda thug was on tha border of slumber, he gots tha strangest feelin dat someone of mah muthafuckathugs was watchin his muthafuckin ass yo. Dude looked up, before Jeffz hand covered his crazy-ass grill yo. Dude slowly raised tha knife locked n loaded ta plunge it tha fuck into Liu fo'sho. Liu thrashed here n' there tryin ta escape Jeffz grip. ▼▲"Mommy, you lied." Thatz tha last muthafuckin thang they hear as Jeff rushes em wit tha knife, guttin both of them.
"Shhhhhhh," Jeff holla'd . Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Just gochill talike chilla pimp." ▼▲His brutha Liu woke up, startled by some noise yo. Dude didn't hear anythang else, so he just shut his wild lil' fuckin eyes n' tried ta go back ta chill fo' realz. As he was on tha border of slumber, he gots tha strangest feelin dat some muthafucka was watchin his muthafuckin ass yo. Dude looked up, before Jeffz hand covered his crazy-ass grill yo. Dude slowly raised tha knife locked n loaded ta plunge it tha fuck into Liu fo'sho. Liu thrashed here n' there tryin ta escape Jeffz grip.
{{v|4UP9YWsAwPU}}
▲"Shhhhhhh," Jeff holla'd,"Just go ta chill."
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