Jeff tha Killa: Difference between revisions
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Excerpt from a local Shitpaper:
OMINOUS UNKNOWN<br />
KILLER IS STILL<br />
AT LARGE.
After weekz of unexplained murders, tha ominous unknown killa is still on tha rise fo' realz. After lil evidence has been found, a lil' pimp states dat da perved-out muthafucka survived one of tha killerz attacks n' bravely
"I had a wack trip n' I raised up in tha middle of tha night," say tha boy, "I saw dat fo' some reason tha window was open, even though I remember it bein closed before I went ta bed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I gots up n' shut it once mo' n' mo' n' mo' fo' realz. Afterwards, I simply crawled under mah covers n' tried ta git back ta chill. Thatz when I had a strange feeling, like one of mah thugs was watchin mah dirty ass. I looked up, n' nearly jumped outta mah bed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! There, up in tha lil ray of light, illuminatin from between mah curtains, was a pair of two eyes. These weren't regular eyes; they was dark, ominous eyes. They was bordered up in black and... just plain up terrified mah dirty ass. Thatz when I saw his crazy-ass grill fo' realz. A long, horrendous smile dat made every last muthafuckin afro on mah body stand up. Da figure stood there, watchin mah dirty ass. Finally, afta what tha fuck seemed like forever, da perved-out muthafucka holla'd it fo' realz. A simple phrase yo, but holla'd up in a way only a mad playa could speak.
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"Dude holla'd, 'Go To Sleep.' I let up a scream, thatz what tha fuck busted his ass all up in mah grill yo. Dude pulled up a knife; aimin at mah ass yo. Dude jumped on top of mah bed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I fought his ass back; I kicked, I socked, I rolled around, tryin ta knock his ass off mah dirty ass. Thatz when mah daddy busted in. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Da playa threw tha knife, it went tha fuck into mah dadz shoulder n' shit. Da playa probably would've finished his ass off, if one of tha neighbors hadn't alerted tha police.
"They drove tha fuck into tha parkin lot, n' ran towardz tha door. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Da playa turned n' ran down tha hallway. I heard a smash, like glass breakin fo' realz. As I came outta mah room, I saw tha window dat was pointin towardz tha back of mah doggy den was broken. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I looked up it ta peep his ass vanish tha fuck into tha distance. I can rap
Popo is still on tha look fo' dis man. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. If you peep mah playas dat fits tha description up in dis story, please contact yo' local five-o department.
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"Shhhhhhh," Jeff holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Just chill like a pimp."
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